Delusions of Grandeur

Getting Away

2007-10-24T14:35:00.000-04:00

“I should fry you where you sit, blob,” Vader spat.

Jaba snorted. “OH! Looka here! Robo-Sith is calling names!”

I felt Vader tense, he had me pressed back against him, covered with his cape. I pulled the cape down so I could see: he jerked it back up. I jerked it back down. I was too darn close to him and now I couldn’t breathe.

“It’s just my head, Vader! Let me breathe! They’ve seen what I’m wearing already!” I told him. He growled. Really growled. I looked up, way up, at him in surprise. “I’m guessing this really bothers you.” He shoved my head under the cape again,

“Just take her already. She’s a pain anyhoo! I don’t needs his trouble. Redheads!” Jaba snorted again and burped. “I shoulda fed her to he rancor but she probably would have cooked him for dinner tho.”

I peeked out again. “You darn tight I would have!” Vader shoved my head down again.

“Stop that!” I cried, popping out again.

“And that metal bikini anit cheep so leave it at the door when ya leave, if you don’t mind. Your pal here and keep ya nekkiness covered!” Jaba said tossing a beer can over his shoulder.

The dark side waved over me. Oh, boy, I thought, here it comes. Vader lifted his hand and Jaba went toppling backward off his dais, flat on his back, little hands wiggling. I giggled. I couldn’t help it.

“Send me a bill,” Vader hissed, one arm going around my waist, lifting me off me feet. He spun on his heel and stormed out of the receiving room. He carried me like that all the way outside into the hot heat.

“Vader?” I said. No reply. “Vader!” Still nothing. “VADER!”

“WHAT?” he snapped.

“You can put me down now.”

“I don’t think so,” he breathed at me.

“Ok, Anakin, be that way!” I shouted. He froze in mid-step and dropped me in the sand face first. I looked up with a face covered with it. “Thanks.”

He wiped off his cape, dropped over me and pointed. “You have accepted it, good. But never call me that again. Anakin is dead.”

I stood up, clutching the cape around me. “Depends on your point of view, you know,” I shot back.

About Time!

2007-10-09T11:57:00.000-04:00

I jumped wake. Jaba was moving around and his tail slapped my head. He looked down at me with a very unhappy expression.

“Get up, girly! Get behind me, we got company. I don’t want you seen!” he spat, drool hitting me.

Hr yanked the chain and I literally slid over his nasty, slimly body, and on the dais behind him with a thump. Frack! That hurt my neck! I kicked his tail as hard as I could and he groaned.

“Stop kicking me! Be still all dag nabbed ready! Put a blaster on her please!”

I did, not that I wanted too. I was at a slight disadvantaged without the Force and with a goon with a blaster in my face.

Then I heard it. The sweetest, most annoying sound ever! Fixed, mechanical breathing! Vader!

“Holy daisy-dukes! Who the in tar are you, big boy?” Jaba spurted.

“Your worse nightmare,” I muttered, with a smile.

“The girl, where is she?” Vader snapped, ignoring the question.

“What girl, I anit got no girl! And who do you think you are? Walking up in here like you own the place!” Jaba smarted off.

There was a muffled choking sound, then two loud thumps. More or less Vader had just Force choked two of his minions and then dropped them like rocks.

Jaba jiggled a bit. “Oh! You mean THAT girl! The Jedee! She is right here.” He kicked me with his tail.

I jumped up. "It's about time!" I snapped.

Nasty... Just Plain Nasty

2007-09-21T12:24:00.000-04:00

Jaba spat globs of tobacco on the floor a lot. It’s gross. The first time he shot it over my head to the floor, I elbowed his gut. It made him burp beer bubbles. That was equally nasty.

I was laying his dais, with this uncomfortable outfit on, bored out of my mind. Suddenly a big glob of Hutt drool plopped on my head. I reached up and wiped it off.

“Hey! Stop that! Get a napkin!” I told him, elbowing his guts once again.

“Sorry, grily, can’t help it. It’s a Hutt thing.” He cracked open a beer. “Want one?”

“No thanks,” I muttered sourly, crossing my arms over my chest. “Let me see little Ani.”

Jaba took a long gulp and burped. “Nope. I sent him back to Watto. I don’t need kids around here.”

I jumped up, chains rattling. “You did what? When?”

“This mornin’. He anit my slave, girly. I just kept him long enough to make sure ya stayed with me a while.”

I glared. “You know, you have to sleep sometime.”

He wiggled his tongue at me and went ppppppffff! “I anit scared of no Jedee! That thang on your neck keeps you from using that mambo jumbo hocus pocus on me!”

“You really don’t know me very well. There are other ways of getting you, Hutt.”

He laughed. Ok, Vader, where the Hoth are you?

I'm not amused by this outfit but I do look good in it.

Thanks to Xavier for this pic. He made it during Last Gladiator Standing 2 and gave it to me. Thanks, bro, you rock.

Rolls Eyes

2007-09-13T11:06:00.000-04:00

I found some old Holos I thought I would share.

Let me tell you... Vader can't sing but he does try.

This is what happen when Vader has toooooooo much suger.

EWWWWWW HUTTS!

2007-09-06T10:59:00.000-04:00

“OOOOOWEEEE! She is purty!” a voice echoed in my dreams. I pulled open my eyes and was faced with the ugliest thing I have ever seem. A Hutt. I was being held up in his face by two fowl looking creatures.

I grimaced. “Get a breath mint.”

“Looky! The Jedee is waking up! Hello, girly,” the breaths on me.

Looking him over, and there was a lot to look over, I glared. He was huge, and he wore overalls. Odd for a Hutt, me thinks. Little hands waved a beer can around, it splashed me.

“Watch it, slug,” I shouted.

The Hutt snorted and burped. “Be nice, Jedee, or I’ll make your little pal disappear.”

I heard them drag little Ani in. He was screaming and kicking. I struggled to turn and look at him. He looked sacred to death.

“I’m sorry, DJ!” he cried.

I winked at him. “It’s ok. Just chill out.”

He nodded really slowly. I turned back to Jaba. “This not a good idea, Hutt.”

A snort. “Yeah, yeah, I know, you gots powerful friends, I will regreat this, blablabla. Heard it before you know.”

I smiled sarcastically. “What do want from me anyway?”

“Girly, I want you to waer tiny clothes and dance! For me. Right here,” he says.

“I don’t dance.”

He leans in and his tongue flops in the air. “You will or I’ll eat the boy.”

“Excuse me?”

Jaba smiles. “I’ll BBQ him and eat him with a baked potato.”

I heard Anakin gurgle. Did I think he would do it? Yeah, I did. Something about BBQ made me think of Vader on Mustafar. So not cool. Not a mental image I want.

“Send Anakin home and I’ll stay,” I said.

“Heck no! Little twerp is my insurance policy. He stays, you dance, I’m happy, everyone lives.”

This was not good.

Tagged By a Clone

2007-08-31T23:21:00.000-04:00

Tak AOC tagged me for this Meme....And the first thing you have to do is post the rules of it before you do anything else...So, here they are:

1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.

2. You must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.

3. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

D J K

D: Deadly. LOL!

J: Joker :)p

K: Krazy ok, I cheated.

I tag:

Darth Vader: he won't do it. *snort*

Jaina Solo

and for the K I dont know anyone. LOLOLOOL!

Ani...SCREAMS

2007-08-29T13:13:00.001-04:00

When the bounty hunters started firing in front and behind me, I had to work double time to deflect the shots. Both of my sabers looked like spinning circles of light. The flashing and buzzing can be distracting if your not focused. I really don’t hear the buzz anymore.

Little Ani was making squealing noises form his hiding place. I thought he was scared but he was actually cheering me on. When I Force pushed one of the hunters off his feet and to the sand, he started clapping.

I managed to take out two of four before they started closing in on me. I was more worried about Ani than myself. But we know how my luck goes.

I heard Anakin jump out of the crate. He grabbed a fallen blaster and start shooting wildly. I shouted at him to get back in the crate, he ignored me. Typical Anakin.

Then it happened.

Ani shot me in the back. Not intentionally. Laser blasts on stun still hurt like Hoth. I froze and turned my head to glare at him.

“Whooops!” Ani cried, looking scared.

“I’m going to kill you myself,” I muttered, eyes rolling, blacking out.

A Dark Alley

2007-08-18T23:11:00.000-04:00

The wisest advice I can give a person is this: never go down a dark, sandy alleyway if you think you’re being followed. Did I follow my own advice? Nope. I let Anakin lead me down this ally because he knew his way around better than me.

I pulled my lightsabers off my belt, igniting the blades. Ani jumped when the red one flashed to life. “WHOA! WIZARD!”

“Don’t get any ideas. You like a blue blades,” I said, lifting the blue one.

“Huh?”

“Never mind.”

I looked around. “See that crate there? Get in it. Now.”

“You got the sabers! Consider me a goner!” he jittered off, running for the box and jumping in.

Two figures appeared at the end of the ally, two more behind me. “This is really bad time to be messing with me, boys,” I told then, dropping into a fighting stance. “I’ve had a really bad last few months.”

One of them stepped forward, blaster raised. “Sorry to hear that but there is a bounty on you, girly. A nice big one.”

I glared. “By who?”

“Jaba the Hutt. He likes redheads and you fit that description. Of course, he wasn’t aware you are a Jedi,” the masked hunter eyes the red blade. “You are a Jedi, right?”

I smiled coldly. “Come find out.”

“You want the kid to get hurt in the crossfire?”

I twirled the sabers. “Trust me, he won’t. I was one of top ten in my class. Four behind Anakin Skywalker, but you don’t know him yet. “

Ani popped his head up. “Really? I’m that good?”

“Get down!” and his head disappeared again.

“Come on, babycheeks, don’t make us hurt you,” the bounty hunter said.

“I’ve spent weeks with a Sith Lord with a breathing problem, a bad attitude, and smell feet, you think you are going even get close to me?” I said, grinning. “I don’t think so.”

“You asked for it. Set’um for stun,” he said and started firing at me.

Being followed...

2007-08-07T11:33:00.000-04:00

I knew we were being followed. I could feel them behind us, far enough not to be seen, but keeping up with us. Little Ani was guiding me through the market, pointing out things, and I was trying to pay attention but I was too concern by the presences I felt.

Ani waved his hand in my face. “What’s up with you?”

I gave him a pensive look. “We are being followed.” He starts looking around me, making it obvious I know and I had to stop him. “Don’t look!”

“Why not? I might know them!” he said.

“Ok, then look, but don’t look like you’re looking,” I told him.

“How do I do that?”

“Look casually.”

He frowned “What?”

I sighed. “Just look, Ani.”

He peered around me. “I don’t see- Oh, you mean those two guys with blasters getting closer?”

I didn’t say anything about blasters. “Start walking,” I turned him around and gave him a soft push forward.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” Ani muttered.

“That’s my line,” I said.

“What? How is that ‘your’ line?”

“It just is. I say that.”

He shoots me a look. “Did you write it? Do you own it? I can say it if I wanta.”

“Who’s the Jedi here?”

“Fine!”

We moved through the market quickly. The pair behind us was lost in the crowd, but they were still there. I found a nice place to pull Anakin into, a tent of some sort, empty at the moment, and peered out the flap.

“You see’um?” Ani whispered.

“Not yet. Shhh.”

“I hate it when people shhh me!”

I slapped my hand over his mouth. He mumbled and wiggled, then froze as the two men walked in front of the tent. Bounty hunters! Anakin muttered again.

“What?” I hissed.

“Thhhhyy wowoff foroo jjajaba theh ummp!” he mumbled under my hand.

I move my hand. “Say that again.”

“They work for Jaba the Hutt,” he said. “You know, the beer drinking, overall wearing Hutt I pointed out a few days ago.”

“Why would they be following me- us?”

“Jaba likes pretty girls. They go missing around here. Maybe he likes you,” Ani said.

“Wonderful. Like I need that attention. Vader is bad enough- Wait. Did you just say I was pretty?” I asked.

“No! Ewww!” he nearly shouts. “Well, you’re ok for Jedi, I guess.”

I rolled my eyes and went back to looking out the tent.

100th Post!

2007-07-30T00:18:00.000-04:00

I made it! Whoooohooo! I had no ideas for this post. None. Then it came to me. PICTUES! A few you will remember, some you have never seen. Those might be get me in trouble… but oh well! Let the fun begin!

I took this years ago. Anakin was such a kidder then. Well he still is but he worse back then.

Gar Gar showing some love! HA!

AWEEEE Vaderkins and Mr. Snuggles (He is going to kill me again for this one. He thinks he has all the copies.)

A poster for the Shaven Wookie Salon. Anakin was very upset about this. He was wasted and almost lost all his hair when he went in there.

Ankain playing with himself- I mean his action figure! Opps, that sounded bad!

Toga Toga!

And my fave to this day! Rap on Skywalker, rap on!

Thank you everyone for reading and keeping me going! I do this madness for you! *rasies glass* Here's to a 100 more!

I made these pics so please don’t take and repost without my permission.

The Device

2007-07-19T13:38:00.001-04:00

I watched little Ani while he worked for hours. It made me miss my time and my Anakin, who I have watched do the same thing, work for hours with determination over the years. I’m going to throttle my time’s Anakin. He has no idea what he becomes, what he will do.

He finally jumped up with a huge smile. “I did it!” He handed me the Nav and the comm all wired together. “Looks like a mess but I think it works!”

I reached down and hugged him. “If you made it, it will work.”

I took the rigged thing-a-bob from Anakin and stared it. It was a mess but had to work. I just hope Vader is looking for me, that he knew I was in trouble. Not that I want him around, mind you, but a little help- he owes me that. Still he is going to grumpy, our parting wasn’t the nicest, and I did steal his ship and crash it. But what did he expect? “Oh, so you’re Anakin and a Sith, you kill everyone, here let me kiss and hug you bye!”

You know, now that I think of it Vader would expect that.

I realized I never found out why Vader the full reason behind why he turned to the dark side in the first place. I flipped out and left before I thought of it. I could hear my master’s voice in my head telling me how foolish that was. Well, I guess if he shows up, I’ll just have ask. After I kick his helmet in again.

Little Ani handed me a small pack. “Keep in here and keep it with you. Maybe now your friend can come help you.”

Suddenly I felt really sad looking at his happy face. If he only knew… I hugged him.

“Ewwww!” he cried, wiggling. “Girl germs!”

I laughed and let him go. Then something crossed my mind. If I told Shmi about her death, it would only scare her, and things could become worse for us all. Anakin was the one who was filled with grief over not saving his mother. Instead of telling her, maybe if I hinted something to little Ani… maybe I could implant something in his mind he would only remember in time to save his mother later on.

I did realize that when I left here, I was going to have to try to make him forget me. Keyword: try.

“Let’s go for a walk. That should work better outside,” Ani said.

I followed him, carrying the little pack. The suns were coming up and it was all ready starting to get hot.

At least I was going to have a great tan by the time I left.

An idea

2007-07-09T12:16:00.001-04:00

Thanks to everyone who voted for me on LGS2! Thanks to all of you I won! You guys rock so hard!

I was trying to rest on the small sofa in Anakin tiny home. In my hand was the holodisk of Anakin’s deceit. I turned over in my fingers, staring it.

“BOO!” a voice whispered next to my head. I jumped and came up. Ani laughed. “I’ve been working on my sneaking. I so got you!”

“Not funny. I could have taken off your head.”

“Nah! I would have ducked.” He jumped on the sofa by my feet. “What is that?” he asked, pointing the disk.

I quickly put it away. “A way to stop a bad situation, I hope.”

“If you get home, right? Where is home?”

“Coruscant.”

“And you need a special ship get there? You can hop any ship and get there.”

“I can’t explain it, Ani. I really can’t.”

Ani looked at me fro a long, titled his head and says, “So what is the future like?”

My mouth dropped. “How do you know that?”

“Well, the ship you crashed in for one. I’ve never seen anything like it and I’ve seen a lot of ships. You knew my name, Jedi or not, and you looked and talked to my mother like you knew her. Or knew of her,” he said. “And you talk to me like you know me very well.”

I blinked. I had forgot how smart Anakin was as a youngling. He grinned hugely. I smiled back. This put a new light on things.

“What am I like in the future?” he asked. “Tell me, I’m cute.” I covered my mouth to hide the smile at his question. “Am I Jedi? Do I fly the stars? Tell me everything!”

“You are the best pilot in the galaxy. And yes,” I said, “you are very cute.” I skipped the Jedi part.

“Are we close?” he asked.

I sighed. “We were. I hope we still are.”

He looked confused. “How did you get here?”

“A wormhole.”

“Wizard!” He smiled. “Really wizard.”

I guess it was pretty wizard. We sat there for hours and he asked me questions. Some I answered, some I didn’t. I vaguely told him about Vader, not using names or details, only that was a ‘friend’ and could he help me if he could find me. If he didn’t kill me first but I left that part out, too.

Ani looked thoughtful, and then he jumped up. “I have an idea. Give me your comlink.”

I did and he ran off to his room. After a few minutes I followed.

Anakin tinkered with my comlink. He said if he could get a slightly higher power source, boost the frequency, attached it to the Nav computer, set it to send a signal of my location back to the coordinates where I had come through the wormhole, then maybe my ‘friend’ would get it and come. If it did work, maybe Vader would send a ship through the wormhole to me and I could finally get home.

It was a long shot but worth a try. If anyone could do it, Anakin could, don’t you think?

Vote Time!

2007-07-06T15:20:00.000-04:00

Go here to vote:

Last Gladiator Standing Two and vote for me!

and email to your vote to: joninterglad@hotmail.com

Tons of love and thanks in advance!

Help me kick it for the Jedi, babies!

The winner will be announced Sunday night.

Good News

2007-07-01T14:12:00.000-04:00

I don’t know if most of my loyal readers know or not, you should, that I have been competing in Last Gladiator Standing Two. This is the last week, and your DJK is proud to announce she made into the top TWO!

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

I would like to thank all of you who voted for me the past two weeks, judges former players. I could kiss you all. You’ve made me a very happy little Jedi.

This week I need everyone’s help. For this last challenge, everyone who is anyone can vote for the winner. So if you read my blog, go HERE read this weeks challenge, and read my entry that will be up sometime during the week. (clicky! clicky!) On Saturday send your vote to this Cool Cat: joninterglad@gmail.com Help me win!

AWWWWWE! Anit he sweet? WAIT! This is Vader, right?

Edit: Post is up! Go read! *grin*

The Tour

2007-06-18T23:28:00.000-04:00

We walked around for hours. Ani showed me everywhere, and the whole time I was roasting. This planet is so hot your skin feels like its going fall off your bones. I think I’ve lost 10 pounds.

As we walked, I whipped out my camera for a few pics. I caught some interesting things.

Not sure what happened to the little green guy but I blame the Jawa.

Such a goof ball!

Now that’s a messed up Hutt! He did give me his lollipop tho.

Hanging Around

2007-06-07T22:33:00.000-04:00

I really love Shmi. She was so kind to me and she didn’t even know me from a Whomp rat. The more I was around her the more I understood Anakin’s pain of death. I caught myself on more than one occasion in the next day or so almost telling her, warning her. Maybe if I saved her Anakin wouldn’t fall…

Okay, I have to stop that line of thinking. I can’t do that.

“Oh! You gota see this!” Ani shrieked while I was helping Shmi. He grabs my hand, drags me to his room and there on bench is C-3PO. “Isn’t he wizard?”

“Very,” I said. “Naked but wizard.”

“Well, he’s not done yet.”

“So I see."

“You know, you’re short for a girl,” Anakin popped off, eyeing me.

“You’re short for a boy.”

“Am not. I’m tall for a boy!”

“No you’re not, Tiny.”

“Who you calling Tiny, Shrimp?”

I propped my arm up on his head. “You, small stuff.”

He reached up and pitched my nose. “I don’t have to stretch to touch your nose!”

Ok, he had me there.

Shmi came in behind us. “Ani, stop that,” she said softly to him but she was smiling. “Why don’t you show Kriss around the spaceport? And keep wide of Watto’s shop, he sees you and he’ll put you to work.”

“You wanta?” Ani asked.

“Sure, love too,” I said and he pulled me to the door. But I gave one look back at Shmi’s smiling face before I went out the door.

Anakin's Mother

2007-05-24T13:27:00.000-04:00

I met Shmi Skywalker. She was at their slave quarters when we arrived. Ani explained to her where he had found me and pointed out the lumps on my head. Shmi insisted I sit down, drink some water, and let her look at my head. Which was fine, besides the ache. I heal fast; it’s a Jedi trait.

I see why Anakin loves her so much. I do believe she is the sweetest woman I have ever encountered. So kind and soft-spoken. It makes me so sad to know she dies. I had to bite my tongue not to warn her about it. If I did that, I could make a big mess of things.

But then again- If she lived…

I pushed the thought away.

Of course she asked me a bunch of questions like Anakin had and I had to skim around the answers. I couldn’t every well say, I’m from the future, now could I? Can you imaging their faces if I did?

“Ani, said you knew his name before he told you.” Shmi said to me.

“She’s a Jedi mom, they know things,” Ani told her.

I only smiled. Good enough answer for me. “I need another ship to get- home. But I need a special ship that’s going to be hard to find here.”

“Can she say here, mom? We can help her!” Ani said.

Shmi nodded. “She can stay here, if she wants. I’m not sure what help I can be, but Anakin here- he might able help you.”

Anakin smiled. Dayum, I miss that smile from his older self. But he might not flash it much after I kick his- uh- have a long conversation with him.

“Thank you. I hope it won’t take me long,” I told her.

Who am I trying to fool?

It was going to take a very long time.

Monday Madness

2007-05-21T11:46:00.000-04:00

I swear I'm not dead. More of my story later in the week but for now Elvis trooper has a song for Jabba!

And I don't know about you, but Anakin getting ran over by a speeder... is just funny! Sorry, Ani, you know I love ya!

Monday Madness

2007-05-14T00:00:00.000-04:00

This is a new thing because let's face it, Monday's just suck! We need a laugh! So every Monday I'm going to post up something to make all you smile, laugh till you tinkle your pants. *grins* This could be a picture I have made or found, or a video, whatever.

Enjoy!

This Monday's Madness:

Imperial Idol

Vader...

Simon...

I knew that they were the same person!!!!!!

Oh, and check out my adventures on Last Gladiator Standing! Read all about DJK and the Slide O’ Slime!

On The Way

2007-05-10T15:39:00.001-04:00

I always knew Anakin could fly anything, even when he was small but there is something disconcerting about a youngling flying a speeder like a madman when your head aches. Which is what he was doing. He hits a sand dune, and we did this bounce. Argh! Thank the Force I hadn’t ate anything.

“Whoops,” he mutters. “Sorry.”

It was funny, being in the past, sitting here with Anakin before I met him. He was nosy, asked me a thousand questions and stared at me when I started to laugh.

“What?”

I couldn’t stop laughing and then I found myself wanting to cry. I couldn’t help it. The past few weeks and everything I found out about Anakin and Vader hit me like rocks. I covered my face.

“My flying isn’t that bad!” Anakin said, stopped the speeder.

Can I hug him? Just squeeze him to death? I shook my head. “It’s not you. I’m tired, achy, and I’ve had a bad month or so,” I told him.

“Oh. Well, that sucks Bantha toes. Crashing here didn’t help any, did it?”

I shook my head again. “No! I think I’m in real big trouble now.”

“You need ship, right?” he asked.

“One that this,” I held up the memory system, “will work in. Unless you have Imperial ships around here, I don’t think I’m going anywhere.”

Anakin looked at me with all too familiar look of HUH? “Imperial?”

“Never mind.”

“My mother says nothing is set in stone.”

How right she was.

Anakin took off again, and my stomach went up my throat. Now I know how Obi-Wan feels. Remind me not to mention that to him although.

More About This Blog

2007-05-10T13:36:00.000-04:00

I'm having issues with my layout, so I making this page so everyone knows who is who on this blog.

First there is me:

DJK
My name is Kriss, nickname Dark Jedi. I'm a Jedi Knight of the Republic and resident press photographer, field photographer. I also run Anakin Skywalker's fan club, The Skywalker Stalkers. Biggest group of Skywalker supporters out there.

Gar Gar the Cat
Temple pet and one cool kitty!

Tee the Ewok
Tee, my sweet little Ewok. He got in the Temple one night and hacked my computer with his buddy. He stayed, the other ran away. Look out! He likes to steal underwear!

Temper, Temper!

2007-05-04T15:00:00.000-04:00

I told you Vader was a pain.

And no, he's not talking about me.

LMAO!

One More Lump

2007-04-27T12:07:00.000-04:00

This puts a damper on getting back to my own time, being stuck here. I need a new ship but not just any ship will do, I think. Vader had mentioned once that only his ships were made to handle going through wormholes.

He could have lying. Vader DOES like to brag.

So, when my head finally stop spinning, I got back in the fighter and began pulled out the memory system of Nav computer. I was going to need that later.

I had company.

“This thing is awesome!” Anakin kept saying.

“Yes, yes, it’s a wonderful piece of junk,” I muttered, under the console.

“Where did you get it?”

“From someone I’m going kill later,” I mumbled.

Anakin leaned over, hanging upside from the seat. He looked at what I was doing. “What did you say? And you know, you are about it damage that thing.”

I looked up, knocking my head again. “Frack!”

He laughed as I pulled myself out from under the console, rubbing my head. “How many more lumps you want?”

“I was going for four, but I don’t think I can take it.”

“Move over. I’ll get your thing-a-ma-jigger,” he told me and dived under the console like a Whomp rat. Five minutes later, he popped out and handed it to me. “Here you go.”

“Thanks,” I said. “For everything.”

“Sure. What kinda guy would I be if I left a damsel in distress?”

I smiled. Now I know I’m still knocked out and dreaming. That was so Anakin.

“You never told me your name,” he said.

“Kriss.”

Anakin titles his head. “You don’t look like a Kriss.”

“It’s short for Kristilen.”

“What?”

“I’m kidding.”

“Oh.”

He looked up. “There is a sand storming coming. We aren’t far from my home, you better come with me.”

“And we get there how?”

He pointed. “Speeder. It’s Watto’s but he lets me use it. I was supposed to be back by now, he going to be mad, but he’s always mad.”

Watto, now there’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time. Anakin was slave in this time. Then it hit me. Shmi. I could actually meet Anakin’s mother.

I have to tread carefully here. I could really change events that I don’t want changed but I really liked the idea of meeting her.

“Ok, let’s go.”

My Inter-Monologue Stopped Working

2007-04-16T15:40:00.000-04:00

When I came too, I was under the wing in the shade. The little boy had pulled me under it. I sat up and looked to my left and he was sitting next to me.

“Hi,” he said.

My mouth dropped open again.

I didn’t make it to my own time. Oh, no! I went passed it. Way passed it… about fourteen years. And I was on Tatooine. And this little boy was…

“Anakin?” I said.

He titled his head. “How do you know my name?”

I closed my mouth. “I don’t.”

He laughed. “You just called me Anakin.”

I played it off. “Did I?”

“Yeah, you did. Are you Jedi?”

That is debatable. “Uh. Well… “

He lifted my light sabers. “These were in the sand. Are they yours?” I nodded. “Then you must be a Jedi.”

“Like I said, that is debatable.”

“You never said that. You said, 'Uh, well'.”

What the frack went wrong? How did I get blasted back this far? And how did I crash here?

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” Anakin said, confused.

I had said that out loud?

“Yes, you did,” he said shaking his head. “You’re funny.”

I shook my head. My inter-monologue must not be working, I thought. Anakin started to really laugh at me and fell over in the sand.

“You are REALLY funny!”

I started to laugh, too. This was crazy! I had tears I laughed so hard.

I have the worst luck.

My Luck Sucks

2007-04-14T12:58:00.000-04:00

Luck it would seem is not with me. As I hit the wormhole, something happened. Everything in the ship went nuts. I don’t remember that happing when Vader had brought us through before. Traveling though a wormhole is like light speed you can feel and see. There are no gravity stabilizers. That I was expecting, but the force in which it sucked me through…

I knew I was trouble.

The time between when I went through the hole and when the fighter crashed, I can’t remember any of it. All I remember is waking with a mouth of sand, feeling hot, and not a hundred percent myself. I was outside the ship and the ship itself was smoking. I rolled over only to be blindsided by the sun.

“Ohhh,” I moaned covering my head and eyes.

There was a sniffle off feet. “You ok, lady?” a little voice asked.

I peeked. Two little feet were next to my head. “No, I’m not.”

“Your ship is wizard! I’ve never seen one like it before!” the little male voice told me, all excited.

“Hmmmm.”

“You took a good pop. Your head has a lump.”

“Move to the left and block the sun, it’s killing me,” I said.

He did and leaned over me. “You going to live?”

His face came into plain view. My eyes went wide. I gasped and jumped up, only to crack my head on the wing of the fighter. I fell over like a bag of rocks.

I blacked out.

2007-04-11T22:43:00.000-04:00

Space is a really empty place and I really hate this fighter. It feels like Vader. I remember I just stopped in dead space and stared for along time at nothing, thinking, in shock.

Vader was Anakin. How’s that for a nasty surprise? Part of me was hurt, part mad as Fell. I had to keep reminding myself that none of this had happened yet.

But it would.

Not on my watch. I WILL stop it.

“Where do you think you are going?” a voice said over the commutation terminal.

Vader!

“How’s yours face?” I asked smartly.

“Sticky. You know I can bring you back. I can control the fighter from here,” he told me.

I glared. “Try it and I’ll kill you.”

“No, you won’t.”

“Stop saying that, you over-grown Wookie!”

The engines powered back up on their own. The fighter-changed course, back the way I had just came. Nothing I did could break the hold Vader had over the Fighter. I cussed, slammed my hand in the controls. Then I had a Kenobi moment. I tried a different approach.

“Vader?”

“What?”

“You said couldn’t change what happens, but maybe I can change enough and you might not end up in that suit,” I said slowly. “Have you considered that?” Clever, no? “Wouldn’t you like to be free of it?” I asked, going on. “Free of the constant pain?”

There was heavy breathing for ten minutes. I waited; I knew I had hit a tender spot.

The engines powered down.

“Go.” Was a he said.

Like he had to say it twice!

I headed for the wormhole.

Getting Away

2007-04-07T01:16:00.000-04:00

I had to quickly find away to get a ship and get out of here. Things was I didn’t know where the wormhole was. But if I could get Vader’s Tie Fighter, the Nav computer would have a record of it. I just had to get by Tarkin.

He jumped in my way as I stepped in the hanger. I side stepped him and reared back my fist, landing a hard right in Mr. Sourpuss’ face. He went soaring back. Man, that felt good. Pretty sight, too.

I marched up to Tak, who was blocking my way to the fighter. “Move,” I said.

“I can’t. I have to stop you,” Tak tells me. “What did you do tick off the big man?”

“I tell you what I’m going to do if you don’t move your clone backside out my way…”

“Whoa! Don’t beat the clone!”

I walked up and tapped his helmet. “Move then.”

“Vader will kill me if I do.”

“I’ll kill you if you don’t. Up to you, Tak.”

He moved. “I’m a dead clone.”

“Open the bay doors!” I shouted jumping in the fighter.

“A very dead clone,” he muttered.

I decided to make it look like he had nothing to do with this. He was a good guy. I grabbed a blaster off the floor of the fighter and when the doors came open, I shot his foot.

“OWWWWWWWWW! WTF!”

“Sorry!” I closed the hatch and fired the engines. I was just about to take off when Vader charged in the hanger. I moved the guns so they were pointed his way. Ok, so he could use the Force to repeal the shots, but I wasn’t going to let him get close to the fighter.

I wasn’t staying.

There is a certain Jedi Knight in my time I need to have a SERIOUS conversation with.

I fired once at him before I gunned the engines and took off. I missed, of course, but I got out of that hanger.

Turning Point

2007-04-03T13:54:00.000-04:00

My saber was in my hands and when I landed I was swinging at his head. There was a flash of red, Vader had his saber up and my blade was locked with his. I glared him.

“Now you know,” he said matter of fact like.

“I’m going to rip out your heart and make you eat it!” I spat.

He pushed my blade down. My arms shook from the power behind it.

“No you’re not,” he told me.

I gave him a hot smile. “What makes you think that?”

He pushed a bit hard and my saber dipped low. I could feel the heat of it.

“Because you care for Anakin.”

I laughed coldly. “I think the coffee went to your head!”

“You think?” he asked and shoved his saber. I went back a few centimeters. I was about to charge again but paused.

Vader flipped his saber off. “Go ahead. Kill me,” he taunted.

“Gladly,” I spat. I took a running leap and started to swing… And froze.

Okay, I failed myself or maybe I didn’t. I don’t know. My arms were shaking with the rage. Anakin had killed me in a frenzy and here I was about to do the same thing. The world suddenly went very calm and me with it. I lowered my blade.

“See?” he said softly.

I kicked him in the face as hard as the Force let me. He went flying back and hit hard on the desk. I added a push to send him sliding over into the small table on the other side. The large coffee pot fell over, crashing in his mask. It shattered and hot coffee went everywhere.

I took a deep breath. “I hope you fry,” I said calmly.

I didn’t wait around. Turning my back I left him, running out of the office and not looking back. But not before I grabbed the holo out of the console and pocketed it.

I think Vader screamed my name.

I hoped that coffee hurt.

Maybe I should have dumped the sugar on him too.

In Defense of Obi-Wan

2007-03-31T23:27:00.000-04:00

OK, we have all heared the Jedi Drinking song. Well, there is one just for Anakin. I told you guys he had a rep for drinking! This was playing in a cantina a few weeks ago. Heehee!

For you Obi-Wan, in your denfense. *wink*

Crushed

2007-03-28T22:38:00.000-04:00

I held the holodisk in my hand. “Okay, I’ll play along with your sick joke.” I crossed the room to the nearest console and slipped the disk in.

The Jedi Temple interior flashed before me. It seemed to be a typical night. Knights were going about their business, doing what we normally do. Then suddenly there were alarms blaring and Jedi started running around, lightsabers drawn and ready.

I watched in horror as an ocean of clone troopers invaded, blasters firing. Knights were falling everywhere I looked. I was watching a slaughter!

From the middle of a cluster of clones a single Jedi emerge, blue lightsaber in his hands. He cut down a small group of Padawans like they were nothing but tree branches. I could faintly hear him shouting orders to the clones as he stormed the main hall.

The Jedi just so happened to turn so I could see his face.

I covered my mouth in shock, my breath sucking in.

It WAS Anakin!

Anakin looked up at the camera. It felt as if he was looking right at me. His eyes were dark, cold. I winced as he flung his saber into the camera and the holo switched to different location. I could barely tell where it was I was so stunned.

Then I saw myself standing with my saber in my hand. I was standing… across from Anakin.

“Have you gone mad, Anakin?” I shouted.

His eyes! Force his eyes! “Anakin is dead,” he said.

“Why are you doing this?”

“It has to be done,” he told me. “You have two options, D.J. You can stand by me or die.”

“You’d kill me? Just like that?”

“Don’t make me kill you.”

My face was a mask of sadness. His was a mask of coldness.

I shook my head. “I won’t stand by you. I can’t do that!”

“Then I suggest you defend yourself,” he said flatly.

I watched myself lower my lightsaber. “I won’t raise my blade against a brother. Will you strike me down anyway? Or does that not matter anymore?” I saw the hesitation his face. “Please, Anakin don’t do this. I know you. This isn’t you,” I begged.

“Anakin is dead!” he shouted again, lifting his saber. “My name is Darth Vader!”

He swung the lightsaber and I slammed my hand on console to shut it off. I couldn’t watch it anymore. I couldn’t watch what was coming.

Anakin was Vader… Vader was Anakin. And Anakin had killed me…

The shock turned into rage.

I turned very slowly and faced Vader, who was still standing by the desk with his arms crossed.

I lost it.

“YOU BASTARD!” I screamed and leapt.

SITHSITHSITH!

2007-03-19T14:39:00.000-04:00

My mouth dropped. “That wasn’t one bit funny, Vader!”

He chuckled. “Depends of what side of the ship you are on.”

“Creep!”

“Now, D.J., when did stop being able to take a joke?” he asked tartly.

“Excuse me? What did you just call me?” I spat.

Everyone calls me either DJK or just Kriss. There is only one person that calls me D.J. and that is because he gave me that nickname.

“I called you D.J.”

I pointed my finger. “You are not allowed to call me that! Only Anakin is allowed to call me that! “

“I know,” he said.

The Force was screaming at me. I nearly choked. Heat shot up from my feet to my head. Force help me! It made sense now, everything.

“You weren’t kidding…” I stammered.

“No.”

“You’re- “

“Yes.”

Normally, I wouldn’t believe something like this but after the dream and the clever way he placed the truth on the table, it was hard not too. I was beyond shocked. I shook my head at him, feeling sick.

“Pudu! He would NEVER do what you’ve done! He wouldn’t! Nice joke. You can stop now.”

“It’s true, D.J.” Vader titled his head.

I crossed my arms angrily. “Prove it.”

“If you insist.” He moved over a wall and pressed a button. There was a click and a hidden door came open. Lifting a small, metal box, he moved back to the desk and shoved in front of me. I eyed it before opening in it.

There were three things in this small box. It took everything I had not to scream when I seen two them.

One was a holodisk, of what I didn’t know at the time. The second was a small toy starship I made Anakin when he turned eleven years old. He had kept it hidden from Obi-Wan for years. Only I knew where it was hidden.

The third was a lightsaber. I recognized it well. Anakin had given it me after I had been knighted. It had D.J. inscribed on it. Its twin was on my belt.

I looked up at him slowly. “Proves nothing. You could have gotten these things after you- “ I waved a hand. “You know.”

“Play the holo,” he told me.

I didn’t want too but I did.

_ _ _

Guest Poster: Gar-Gar

2007-03-13T00:09:00.000-04:00

Meow! Someone is impersonating me! Going around pretending to be me! Purr! Stop it! I am a made up character by DJK, only she may impersonate me. You may use me in your posts but please do not go around pretending to me on other peoples blogs and cboxs thank you. Purr.

Har Har

2007-03-10T22:36:00.000-05:00

I busted in on Vader the next morning. I caught him slurping coffee from a mug. He sensed me coming but not the way I was coming. I nearly kicked in his door waiting for the slow thing to open. I stormed across the office and slammed both of my hands on his desk.

“Good morning,” he said in that tone.

“It’s not good at all,” I said.

Slurp. “I can see that.”

“We need to talk,” I told him.

“You usually need to.” Slurp.

“Don’t get smart. I had a really nice, long, dream last night,” I said.

Slurp. “Yes, I know.”

“Do you? How?” I asked, getting very annoyed with the slurping.

“I sensed it.” Slurp.

“Do you know what it was about?” I stared at him.

Vader cleared his throat. “Yes, I do.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“What do you think of it?”

He sat back with his mug. “That you need to drink less caffeine before you sleep.”

I glared. “Ha ha. Any reason I would dream Anakin was you?”

Slurp. Slurp. Slurp. “Now that’s the question of the morning, isn’t it?”

“Vader… “ Slurp. I reached over and grabbed the mug. The straw came out of the mug and dangled out of his mask.

He snorted. “By all means, have some. You need it.”

Good idea. I chugged the mug and spit it everywhere. There was enough sugar in there to sweeten a whole planet.

“Want some coffee with your sugar?” I gasped, making a face.

Vader spun around in the chair and grabbed a pot of coffee and snatched the mug from me and refilled it. I took a drink when he handed it back. Much better.

“Answer the question.”

“I like it sweet,” he said.

I rolled my eyes. “Not that question. The dream!”

He said nothing. I stared. He breathed. I stared more.

“Are you awake?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Well?”

“Well, what?”

“VADER!”

“WHAT?”

I slammed the mug down. “If you don’t start talking, there is going to be pieces of you everywhere.”

He snorted again. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

“My assessment of your dream is that important?” he asked.

“Yes, all ready!”

He stood up. He leaned over the desk. “Alright,” he started. “Your dream was true.”

I stared.

He stared.

“Just kidding,” he said.

This Has Got Be A Joke!

2007-03-05T01:58:00.000-05:00

Darth Vader

100%

Kaan

89%

Darth Bane

89%

Darth Sidious/ Palpatine

89%

Darth Plagueis

83%

Darth Malak

72%

Marka Ragnos

72%

Naga Sadow

61%

Darth Nihilus

61%

Darth Traya

56%

Exar Kun

39%

Freedon Nadd

28%

Darth Revan

22%

You are not a Dark Lord, you are a Jedi!

Which Dark Lord of the Sith are you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

NO WAY!

ECKKKKKKK!

A Nasty Way To Wake Up

2007-03-02T12:46:00.000-05:00

“Anakin?” I said again.

Vader only smiled at me. I backed up against the wall, my eyes wide…
.

.

.

And woke up in a cold sweat!

I sat up on my bed, breathing hard, sweat covering my face. I looked around. I was in the room Vader had given me when we had arrived. I took a deep breath and wiped my face.

It had been a dream. A horrible nightmare; the fight with Vader, damaging his mask, the chamber, seeing his head and tuffs of hair, and seeing his face…

Anakin’s face.

It was nightmare. Way too real…

Or was a vision?

I covered my face. It couldn’t be. The two of them don’t belong in the same sentence. They are nothing like.

Well, that’s not completely true, I thought, feeling sick.

I had to admit there were similarities.

But Anakin wouldn’t.

His heart was too big.

I got up and got dressed. Moving like a ghost I paced for hours. It wouldn’t go away, I couldn’t stop seeing it.

I trust the Force.

And tomorrow, someone was going to tell me the truth.

Even if I have to beat it out of him.

And you know I'll do it.

A Face Revealed

2007-02-27T01:35:00.000-05:00

Vader sat back in the chair. “If I were to let you see my face, and I’m not saying I’m going to, I would have to kill you,” he joked.

“Har har. Cute, Vader,” I said and he snorted, amused.

I really wanted to see his face, get past these games and get down to nitty gritty. He knew that, of course. This was a test to see how hard I was going to try. Man, do I have restraint. Coming around that chair and getting backhanded would almost be worth the trouble.

“I’m tired of this,” I whispered to myself.

“I know you are,” he said. “If you only trusted me.”

Oddly, I do. “I do trust you, Vader, or I would’ve tried to kill you a long time ago.”

His head turned some. “Tell me you’ll stay here.”

I shook my head. “I can’t.”

“I don’t want you to die again,” he said.

Well, bloody fell I don’t want to die either! But if it saves those I care for…

A plan formed.

“Show me your face and I’ll stay,” I said. “I promise.”

Vader kicked his foot and the chair swung around.

My throat caught, all the blood in head went right to my feet, my mouth dropped open. I got so lightheaded I thought I would blackout. My eyes had to be lying to me.

But they weren’t.

“Anakin?” I whispered.

A Quickie

2007-02-22T23:55:00.000-05:00

Still sick guys, so a funny vid to make you laugh, untill I can get back to the story. This guy is pretty good. Enjoy!

A Flashback...

2007-02-14T15:49:00.000-05:00

A few months ago, Master Windu told me I had to teach Becca how to fly. It would seem she ran over his starfighter and his foot somehow. So, I got wrangled in to teaching her how to properly fly a speeder and, or ship. Anakin would be a better choice for this but I agreed anyway. It was this or Palpatine at his summer home. No thanks, I don’t want to see his Speedo again.

I had to chase her down. Not hard, all I had to do was follow the mess she left in her wake. I managed to get in front of her, not smart on my part and she rammed the back of my speeder, nearly knocking me to Hoth. But she stopped.

She came out flashing her insurance and drivers license at me. “I’m sorry, Officer!”

“I’m not an officer, Becca, its me Kriss?” I said, with a smile.

She waved her hands. “Thank God! I think I was drinking this morning! Who are you again?”

I blinked. She knew who I was, that and I did just tell her who I was. “I’m Kriss, Erifia’s friend. I’m supposed to teach you how to fly.”

Her eyes went wide at me. “Erifia’s got friends?” she gasped at me.

“Uh, well, yes, sort of,” I replied.

Then she kinda jumps up all happy. “Oh, hi! I’m Becca the Magnificent. I work for Erifia. I’m her sidekick!”

“I know who you are. We’ve met before, remember?”

“Nope. Oh, hi! I’m Becca the Magnificent. I’m Erifia’s sidekick!”

Defiantly some lose screws in that head. I’m not sure fly should be on her list of things to learn. But I decided to go with it, not much of a choice here. I smiled and shook her hand. “Nice to meet you. Shall we get started?”

“Oh, no, I’m sorry, I like boys,” she pops off at me.

Say what? And I need to know that, why? “Hmm, good to know. Most girls do.”

“I don’t know…”

I could see that clearly. “You want to start the lesson now?”

Becca looked at me so blankly I thought she had fell asleep with her eyes open. Then she jumps again. “Oh, hi, Kriss! Thank for coming. I’m excited to start learning how to fly buffalo!”

Come again? “Fly a what? No. Mace wanted you to learn how to fly a speeder or ship not a buffalo.” I gave her a my best ‘trying not to show you how nuts I think you are’ look.

“But Okie-Doke Kablokey spoke of a Buffalo with wings. I assumed he meant for me to fly it,” she said.

I’m guessing she meant Obi-Wan. “Buffalo wings are small chicken wings, you eat them, not fly them.”

“But the chickens would get hurt…”

Why me? “You can’t eat the alive. Well, you could, but you can’t fly them.”

She giggled. “You can’t eat a spaceship, silly! And yes you can fly them!”

Okkkkkk! This was going to be more work than it was worth. But still it was better than Palps in his Speedo. “So, I’m going to teach you to fly.”

“I don’t know?”

I take that back. Palps in a Speedo might be a better choice…

Hardware Wars

2007-02-13T01:55:00.000-05:00

Part One:

Part Two:

We miss you, Fluke!

So He Is Human...Mostly

2007-02-07T22:34:00.000-05:00

"Vader?" I said.

"I should break your neck!" he hissed in that low whisper again. He hardly sounded monstrous. From what I had discovered before, I knew his throat was damaged so a whisper was all he could manage. But his tone, that was the same.

"Let me up!" I cried.

"I don't think so."

"I can't breathe," I lied.

He moved his arm so I lift my face up just fraction, still holding my neck tightly. All I could see was the chair and his leg.

"Let me up! I won't look!"

"No."

I heard him messing with something. "What are you doing?"

"Fixing what you broke," Vader whispered.

I reached back up. His head was turned so I got his cheek. My hand was batted away.

"Stop touching me!"

"Why? You think scars bother me? I've seen worse, you know." I asked. No answer to that. "Turn the chair around or something but let me up! You're killing my knees and my neck! Besides this position looks BAD!"

Vader's next move surprised me. He let go of my neck and spun the chair. I went sprawling backward on my backside. Mind minding the pain, I jerked my head up and jumped to my feet, rubbing said backside. His back was too me but I could see the back of his head!

I silently sucked in my breath. First off let me point out, Vader's scars, on the back of his head at least, are not as bad he thinks. Well, one is. There was deep impression as if some had gone digging in his skull. That was one rough to see. But the rest were pale and faint. With tuffs of blonde hairs growing randomly in patches.

I took a stepped closer to him. I could see over his shoulders but not see his face. Thought hit me: he really was a person under all that armor. I reached out and touched a strand of short hair. It was soft under my fingertips. Force help me, I wanted to see his face now!

Vader lifted his hand, reading my thoughts. "If you dare come around this chair, I'll backhand you back to the past with the Force!"

"Nice," I muttered.

Vader unhooked his cape. When it dropped I see the edge of his shoulder armor and most of his neck. He was muttering and moving around. Lifting a long, shiny tool, he started adjusting the piece of his mask I had damaged.

"Can you fix it?" I asked.

"Yes. This not the first time it’s been damaged," he replied.

I bit my lip. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," I whispered, feeling bad.

He froze at my words, as if they startled him or something.

TBC

Hmmm...

2007-02-05T14:45:00.000-05:00

When I asked Vader who had tried to kill me, he said nothing. I wasn't going to take silence as an answer. I got right in his helmet and stood there on a box with my arms crossed.

"You look very silly doing that," he muttered.

"I know, you know who it was, so just tell me."

"Why? Does it matter? It has been taken care of," Vader tells me.

What does that mean? "Who did you kill?"

"Who says I killed anyone?"

"I do. I know you," I told him.

He snorted. "Do you now?"

"Well enough."

Silence. Vader really thinks just standing there, staring, intimates me. It doesn't. I do it right back. I really think he enjoys that. This time, however, he turned around and left the room. I followed.

"Stop following me!" he snapped.

"Oh, you can follow me but I can't follow you?" I asked.

Vader whipped around and his cape went in my face. I had to wave it away. "I'm the Sith Lord here!"

I stepped up to him, centimeters away, and looked up at him a smirk on my face. "You look like a grumpy Bantha to me."

Bad idea. Vader lifted me up by my armpits. "Whoa, big boy!" I shouted.

"Now, you’re stuck."

I glared. "If you don't sit me down by three, you’re going to be stuck."

"Oh? How?"

I smirked. "My knee stuck in your helmet. One." He lifted me higher. "Two."

I skipped three and went right for the helmet with my knee. He could have dropped me before it moved but he didn't. Now, I shouldn't feel bad for the result of this but I do. I knocked his helmet lose. When he dropped me, it was with a gurgle. He wasn't getting any air.

"Sith Spit!" I shouted as he dropped to his knees. I dropped to mine next to him. He shoved me away. Well, I wasn't going to let him croak on me. I moved back over and attempted to readjust the mask. That didn't help.

"I think you need to get to your chamber," I told him, standing up, pulling his arm.

Let me tell you, Vader is not light, using the Force or not! I had to really give my all to get him down the hall. I just knew he was going to die before I got him there and he could take that thing off and get it back on right. He didn’t but I almost wished he had.

I shoved him inside, his gurgles making the hair on my arms stand up. I somehow got him in the chair and looked around. I took a guess and started hitting buttons. The door closed, the air shifted, and this arm came down from the ceiling. I thought: ok; now I get to see his face.

Unable to breath or not, Vader isn't stupid. He grabbed my arm, pulled to me to my knees, then took my head and shoved it into the space between his leg and armrest. Not a comfortable position to be in. Now I couldn't breathe, and he was holding my neck like a vice! And sure as frack couldn’t see! I wiggled around, trying to free myself. My arms were wailing and I smacked flesh, froze. I had just slapped his face!

The gurgling had stopped. I could hear him breathing normally. He moved his hand a bit and fresh air hit my face but not enough so I could look up. I touched his chin. I could feel the scars under my fingers tips. Something gave me the impression, he was expecting me to be disgusted by it and jerk away. I wasn't and I didn't. In fact, I dare to worm my fingers up his face, right across his left eye.

He grabbed my arm and pulled it away but not before I felt something interesting. The distant pattern of the scar below and above his eye.

"I should break your neck!" he hissed in voice barely above a whisper. I did a double take, it was so soft, I thought someone else had walked in and spoke.

A Large Mug and a Holo

2007-01-24T23:07:00.000-05:00

I feel really confused. Have you any idea how hard it is to hate someone your heart really doesn’t want to hate even through it should? I'm a Jedi, we don't hate. But when you find out the things I have, you want to hate.

If I go back, I'm in for by the Counsel. If I leave again and come back here, it will be a permanent thing. I won't be able to go back. So should I stay here and get more answers, then go back and try to change what's to come? The more I stay, the more I feel the spark of goodness in Vader. He knew I would. I can't help wanting to work on that.

And dayum it, I can't help liking the creep too, despite what I know.

And he did come back for me. That would be a considerate thing... if I knew who he really was.

A few days after the assassination attempt on me, I walked into on the funniest sight I have ever seen.

Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith... tyrant of the future... drunk.

Yep, you read right. Drunk, wasted, bombed, loaded.

I don't think he was expecting me to see him that way. In fact, I'm sure he was sure I wouldn't. There were guards posted at his office doors, which I charmed to let me in. Vader was sitting at his desk drinking from a huge mug, and I do mean huge, with a straw of course.

"Get out!" he snapped.

“No. I need to know if my camera is your tie-fighter, I can't find- " Vader hiccupped and I stopped speaking. "Did you just hiccup at me?"

"No, I did not. Get out," he answered, slurring his words.

I eyed the mug. "What are you drinking? Um, slurping?"

"Hot coco." He burped.

"Pudu!" I walked over. "I don't care if you’re drinking. I need my camera. Where is it?"

Vader snorted. "Like I know."

"Tell your men in the hanger to let me search the fighter."

Vader stared at me. "Nope."

"I'm not going to fly off in it, Vader," I told him.

"Yes, you weels," he slurred, hiccupping again.

I snickered. He was trying so hard to hide the fact he was wasted. "How many have you had of those?"

He waved his hand, accidentally knocking over a lamp. "I wost count."

"One that big should be enough," I said.

"Ones is never enough," he muttered, shoving the straw back in his grill.

I leaned over the desk into the mug. Ale, he was drinking ale. It smelled good. I had been a while since I had a good stiff drink myself.

"Care to share that with a girl?"

Out came a bottle and another mug, a enormous mug. I filled it up and plopped in a chair.

"What's got you so upset you need a drink?" I asked.

"Hideous."

I laughed. "Hideous? You mean Sidious?"

"Yeah, him."

"What he do now?"

"I'm not telling yous," Vader answered. "You going to drink that or just hold it?"

I stuck my tongue out at him. I titled the mugs back and drank the whole darn thing in one large gulp. I wiped my lips and smiled. Vader stared at me, I guess gaping.

"I used to drink Anakin under the table," I told him. "And he could drink."

"He still can," he muttered. At least I think that is what he said.

"What was that?" I asked.

"Hmm? I didn't say anything."

I stood up. Bad idea. See the key to drinking is not getting up while you're doing it. I drank the ale too fast and too much of it, it went right to my head at a rapid pace. "Oh, Sith," I said, right before I titled backwards and fell to the floor like a tree. I could hear Vader laughing. Really laughing.

I was dizzy but I couldn't help laughing. I started giggling like a youngling. A black spot met my eyes. Vader was leaning over the desk, which he could do because he was so tall.

"TIMBER!" he shouted.

Later on, I found this holo. Yeah. He needs counseling, I think. Everyone is calling him Chad... odd. And who frack is Clarissa?

A Com Call

2007-01-11T15:31:00.000-05:00

Three days passed quietly, mostly because Vader missing in action. I have no idea where he was. I think he was in his chamber the whole time. I know for fact he was for awhile. I went there, and I could sense him in there.

Not much to do on the planet. The acid rain keeps you from going outside. So, I explored the fortress. Lots to see there, but not what I was looking for. I still need answers, and anywhere I might be able some were locked tight.

I was sitting the balcony when my comm went off. Now, it shouldn't have. I'm ten years in the future, through a wormhole. But it went off, faintly. I grabbed it and looked at it. I had to smile. Leave it Anakin to try to find some way to contact me.

His voice was washed out with static. What I got was my name and 'do you copy?' I lifted the comm to my lips.

"Ani?"

"Kriss?"

Now that we had introduced ourselves, I tried to listen through the static.

"Where the *static* are you? Are you *static* all right *static*?"

"I'm okay," I replied.

"Are you being *static* again your will? Speak up! I can't *static* you!” he shouted.

"I'm not being held!" I screamed back.

"Get your *static* back here!"

"Who made you boss of me, Skywalker?"

"*static and cursses* Have you *static* your *static* mind?" he asked.

"No, I haven't! I can't leave right now!" I said.

"Don't play that with me! *static* You can't *static* help that creep!"

"Who said I was?"

"KRISS!" Temper, temper.

"*Static* have any idea how much *static* you are in?"

No, I don't have guess about that. A large pile of pudu, I'm sure.

"Don't make me *static* come find you!"

I snorted. "To do what? Give me a spanking?"

"KRISS!"

I felt Vader behind me before I heard him. His head was titled, listening to Anakin screaming over the comm.

"Mr. Hero,” Vader said hotly.

I gave him a pained look. Anakin was really shouting now, making me feel even worse.

"Do you have any idea much trouble you're in," Vader mocked. "Don’t make me come find you."

"Vader, that is tacky," I said.

"Is that Vader?" Anakin shouted. "Tell him to *static* up his helmet!"

Vader snorted.I bit my lip to keep from laughing. "Ani, cool your jets. I'll be back soon."

"Will you now?" Vader said, crossing his arms.

I hushed him with a hand. "Maybe, maybe not," I said, using his own words.

"Sassy," he spat back.

"KRISS!" Ani’s voice came through very clear. "Get back HERE!"

The comm cut out. I looked up and Vader was lowering his hand. "You made the comm go out, didn't you?"

"No."

"Yes, you did!"

"No, I did not!"

Exasperating, he is. I placed the comm back on my belt and stared at Vader. I sighed.

"I really do need to need to get back." I thought for a while. If I left I wouldn't get any answers and possibly end up dead. "Answer me a question?" He nodded. "How long do I have before I- die?"

"Less than a year," he answered.

That gives me time to go back and try to discovery what’s going to happen, doesn't it?

"It can't be changed. You can't go back and tell everyone either," Vader said, reading my thoughts.

"Why not? Maybe it can be changed if we are prepared for it." I gave him a questionable look.

"No one would believe you. Especially Skywalker."

"Well, you haven't told exactly what's going to happen. Maybe you should."

"Can't you figure it out?" he asked.

"I can but I rather hear you tell me," I told him.

Vader matched farther into the room. "Someone you trust turns to Dark Side. He attacks the Jedi Temple and you killed there."

"Who?"

"Me."

I blinked. "WHAT? I thought you said you didn’t kill me!"

Vader stood very still. "I didn’t."

"But you attacked the Temple?" I jumped to my feet. "Can you not make sense here? I'm supposed to like you knowing this?"

He shrugged. "I came back for you."

"I still don’t get that." I was angry, very angry. "You know if I go back I might be able to change things. But you won't tell what I need to know. You know I will try to change it, and I think that has something to do with it."

"It won't change."

"So after you attack the Temple, you ended up in that suit?" I asked.

"Yes."

"How?"

"I was defeated and left for dead."

"Well, I can see why!" I shouted. "The attack is this Order 66 I keep hearing about, right?"

"Yes."

"And you still managed to take over the galaxy and create the Empire. Tough cookie." I glared. "And all Jedi are dead?"

"Most of them."

"I can't believe all this! You bring here and give me little bits, every bit of it horrible and expect me still like you! Find some goodness in you! I should kill you now and do the galaxy of this time a favor!"

I left him standing there. I walked away, storming off. I should kill him. It’s my duty as a Jedi. But why does my saber stay on my belt?

Blasted Windows And More Questions

2006-12-28T13:34:00.000-05:00

A few days ago I was I trying out my new saber in earnest. The color of the blades doesn’t bother me. Remember, I have a red one myself. You'll have to read back for that story. I'm not proficient with double blades but it takes practice. Especially seeing how most double blades don't work out so good with short Jedi. Vader's gift was the perfect size with shorter blades.

I was practicing when Vader stormed in. He didn't say anything. He didn't have too. The Force tells us things, well right about then it started screaming. I was just about to duck for cover when Vader stepped in front of me. He whipped his cape around, shielding us from the blast as the windows of the room I was in exploded five seconds later.

When the smoke cleared, I looked up at him. I took a step back and removed his arms from me. He saved my life. That surprised me. I half expected him to shove me closer to the blast or something, not shield me from it. Okay, not really.

Vader pointed a finder. "Not a word!" he snapped, and then swung around to the troopers running into the room. "Find out who is responsible for this and bring them to me. NOW!"

I peered out the broken windows as they left just as fast as they entered. "Was that aimed for you or me?"

"You. Get away from the windows," he barked.

I was stepping back when he grabbed my arm and started pulling out the room. Quickly, Vader rushed us down the hallway. I sensed over protectiveness coming form him. Odd coming from him, as you can imagine.

Odd enough to remind me of Anakin and make my feet lock in place.

Vader whipped around. "Move!"

The craftsmanship of the saber, the blond hair, the over protectiveness…

I stared at him, eyes wide. Nah! No blasted way!

Vader snapped his finger in my face. "What is a matter with you?"

"Just how well do I know in my time?" I said.

"Now isn't the time for this," Vader barked, jerking my arm.

"I'm not moving until you answer me."

With growl, Vader snatched me up and tossed me over his shoulder. That didn't help with my line of thinking. He was NOT the only person I know that has done that to me.

"Put me down, you Wookie!" I shouted.

"Shut up, woman."

"Oh, we’re back to that, are we?" I kicked my foot back, going for his head. I missed and he pinned my legs down.

We reached a dome shaped thing, something I have never seen before. Vader pressed a button and the top came up reviling an entryway. He dropped me roughly in the chair in the middle of it and pointed his finger in my face.

"Move from that chair and I'll pop your head."

That burned my buttons. I kicked him right in the shin. Which happened to be durasteel. Ouch!

Vader slammed his hands down on armrests. "Do I look like I'm playing around here?"

"I wouldn't know. I can't see your face, remember?"

With a snort he left, closing me in this egg looking thing! I up and out that chair, banging on the walls, yelling. All I got was sore hands and headache from the echo. What the frack was this place? There were a lot buttons and strange mechanical arms on the roof. The air in here felt different, too, cleaner, crisper.

I got nosy. He never tells me anything anyway.

I discovered this was a mediation chamber. From what I could tell by digging around in the computer console, Vader could take his helmet off in here and still be able to breathe. I also found out I was the planet of Vjun and his home was called Bast Castle. The ship we had been on was called the Executor.

My mind was reeling, my thoughts jumbled and what I read made me want to cry. It was an in detail description on how much of Vader wasn’t human anymore and read out of his 'accident' ten years ago.

I can't put down all the details. It makes my stomach curl at the thought of it. Makes sense why he not a happy guy, you know?

I couldn't hear a sound outside the chamber but when Vader came back and was standing outside, I could hear him breathing. He opened the door and with one look, knew I knew more than he intended me to find out.

Vader wanted me to stay here; did he think he could keep me fully in the dark? Not to mention my question from earlier still needed to be answered. I mean, the similarities between him and Anakin were adding up in my head. I know didn’t go in to detail on that before. It just doesn’t make sense. Anakin would never, ever, become a Sith.

Oh, Vader knew what I was thinking. I could tell.

"If I asked you to take off your helmet in here would you do it?" I asked.

"No."

"I want some answers."

"I'm sure you do," he replied.

"Will I get them?"

"In time."

Better than the usual no, or maybe. I bit my lip. My head was still going over what I had just read. It really made me feel bad for him, Sith or not.

"You can come out now," Vader said.

I walked passed him, pausing to look over my shoulder. "Does it hurt?" I asked, referring to the suit.

"Every damn second."

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

Vader placed his hand on my cheek and for the first time it didn't seem odd or crazy. "I don't deserve your compassion."

"But you want it or I wouldn't be here." I changed the subject, quickly. It was getting too serious. "Did you catch who blew out the windows?"

"No, but I will. Someone doesn't want you to here and I have idea who." His hand lifted to stop my question. "Later."

Merry Christmas!

2006-12-23T12:43:00.000-05:00

This is DJK's Alter Ego. On be half of DJK, Gar-Gar, and myself I want to wish you a Merry Christmas and we hope you have a happy, safe hoilday.

Here are a few Star Wars hoilday pictures, I found to amuse you. Enjoy!

(Note from DJK: Vader made this snowman. Then he used his saber to chop off it's head! *rolls eyes* What a sense of humor!

Vader's Pet

2006-12-11T14:56:00.000-05:00

Last night I was sitting in Vader's grand sitting room watching the HoloNet. Future shows rock but that's beside the point. I sensed something watching me. It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

All of a sudden something small wielding a tiny lightsaber leaps out at me! I went over the back the sofa with my saber ready to chop off its head!

I seen some crazy things but this tops it.

“VADER!” I shouted.

Hearing me scream, Vader rushes in and stares at me and the creature looking intently at each other.

“I see you've met my pet,” he said. “He doesn’t like Jedi.”

“I can tell!” I shouted. “He attacked me!”

Vader petted the small head. It lowered the saber but hissed at me.

“Even animals can turn Sith?” I asked, lowering my saber.

“Why not?”

“Because its NUTS!”

“His name is Lord Kittious,” Vader said.

I rolled my eyes. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

I snagged this picture off the security recordings:

Behold! Lord Kittious, Dark Kitten of the Sith!

Hey! That saber looks like Anakin's!

A Birthday Gift From Vader

2006-12-06T00:42:00.000-05:00

Anywhoo, today is my birthday. Jedi don't celebrate birthdays or anything else for that matter. Well, Anakin does. He's just like that. Ever since I met him, even if you didn't know what day you were born on, if you were his friend, he did something nice for you. He did does it for Obi-Wan too.

*Sigh* So, I was a bit homesick all morning.

I forgot about when we arrived at Vader's home. Home is a small word. Fortress is a better word. Over compensating, I swear! Every thing he has is big. That sounded really bad, didn’t it?

We landed his transport on the planet's surface. I followed behind him as he exited and I know I looked minuscule. Compare seven feet to five/four and think on it. Bad of me, but I kick of how everyone gets the frack out his way he walks.

And don't be thinking I was looking at his backside. Just because I can see it really well doesn't mean I was looking at it. I don’t! Uh, well, once. Not bad actually, but I didn't say that.

The doors of his fortress come open and we march in. Wow. For a Sith, he has excellent taste! I guess he wasn't lying about being rich. I love the place. Well, everything but the Dark Side aura it has. Well, you can't have everything you want.

Naturally, Vader has a huge statue of himself right in the middle of the entrance hall. I had to crane my neck really far to see the top and I had to say something. I whipped around and opened my mouth.

"Don't even, woman."

I smiled and held out my arm mock surprise. "I wasn't going say anything!"

"Yes, you were," he snapped.

He walked by. I bit my lip, smiling. "Conceited," I muttered.

Vader turned around and tapped his foot. "I heard that."

"Heard what?"

He snorted and pointed to the statue. "I didn't have that made. Sidious did. It was gift. The one of himself is bigger."

"Can there be bigger ego than yours?" I asked.

"I am what I am, woman."

"Who, Popeye? I yam what yam?"

Vader grabbed my arm and pulled me off. We walked into a large room and he waved his hand to the stairs.

"Wait here," he muttered. "I have to make a comm."

"Tell Sidious I said, hi."

If I could've seen his eyes, they would have been rolling in his head. I can't help it. I love to annoy him and he was really annoyed right then. I giggled has he walked away.

Well, anyway, when Vader came back he didn't stop. He walked right passed me, tossed me a box, and kept going out another door. It was heavy and tied with a red ribbon. I just stared at it, until Vader came back in, looked at it as he was walking.

"Well, open it," he muttered, as he passed me, going out the door he left from to begin with.

I waited to make sure he wasn't going through again and opened it. My breath caught. It was a double bladed light saber, beautifully crafted with DJK engraved on the hilt. I hit the switches and two bright red blades came to life. Wowsers! I'm talking wizard!

I eyed the craftsmanship on it. The way it was made reminded me of something, or someone, I couldn't put my finger on. I pushed the though away as Vader once again entered the room and walked right on passed me again to the other door.

"Happy Birthday," Vader said before disappearing.

Was he really doing anything, I wondered, or was he just embarrassed? It was sweet of him. I was touched. But he could have stopped walking in and out like that.

I was ready the next time. In he came, looking over and passing by really fast.

"Hope you like it."

I pounced. I jumped in front of him, and I guess he didn't sense it, because he knocked me over before he could stop. With a OOOOF, I went right on my backside.

Vader looks down at me. "You’re faster than I remember," he muttered, holding out a hand to help me up.

I smiled and held up the saber. "I likey," I said. Vader growled and I went on. "Thank you. How did you know double bladed saber?" Vader growled again. I did what silly girls do in movies; I waved my hand in front of my face like I was going to cry. "You did something sweet."

One loud growl and he stormed passed me. I grabbed his arm. "All teasing aside, thank you."

Oh stars, I did it! I hugged the man. Can you picture that? Short me hugging all seven feet of him? Ack, I'm a neck hugger, too. I had to jump up.

Vader really didn't see that coming. Me either…

TBC

An Itch And Blonde Hair

2006-11-28T14:12:00.000-05:00

Location: Vader's ship. A few days later.

Yeah, I'm still here. The Counsel must think me dead by now. I can't contact them to tell other wise. It's not possible to send holo through wormholes. I can't sense them in the Force either.

Next question. Why have I stayed? Because, I'm too nice. I stayed against my better judgment but honestly it hasn't been that bad. Now here is the part you won't believe, because I can't myself. Vader was actually- dare I say it? He has been nice. Well, as nice he can get but I could tell the difference. Crazy, huh?

Yesterday, I spent half of the day on the bridge. Vader pointed out everything. Bragging, naturally but that was all right. Now this impressive! Huge! A long ramp from one end to the other, a lower section where the crew was. General Tarkin scowled at me as we stood at the front of the ship. I peeked around Vader and smirked at him. I really don't like that guy.

"What's Sidious going to think about me being here?" I asked when we walked into his office.

Vader placed his hands on his desk and leaned over on it. "I really don't even a pudu what he thinks. Should I?"

"He is your Master, right?" I asked, sitting down.

"More of a royal pain in my Imperial backside," he replied.

"You don't get along?"

Vader snorted. "We get along fabulously. I ignore him completely."

I snickered. "Are we going somewhere in particular? Don't tell me your plans for world domination, I would rather not know."

"My home," Vader said.

"Your home what?"

"That's where we are going."

"I didn't know you had one," I replied.

"I told you I was rich." He rubbed his back of his helmet, pressing down on it.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I have an itch I can't get." He slammed his hand down the desktop, muttering.

Here I go being nice again. I lifted my hand. "I can help. Little hands."

"No."

"Quit being a baby and let me help," I said, getting up and going over to him. "Where is it?"

"No."

"Vader! Where is the itch?"

He sighed. "Back of my head."

Ok, I know what you’re thinking. Why? Why I did do this? I don't know! I just did!

I jumped on the desk, I'm short remember. I motioned for him to turn around and he did, really slowly. I careful poked around and slipped him hand up the back of the helmet.

"Tell me when I’m close," I muttered, moving my hand till I felt hair.

"Right- there!"

I scratched lightly. I swear if he was a Bantha he would started mooing, or whatever Bantha do. Much have been one heck of an itch. I pulled by hand back out.

"That better?" I asked, looking at him hand. There were two short stands of hair in between my fingers. "I didn't know you have blonde hair!"

Vader whipped around so fast I nearly fell over. He grabbed my hand and pulled it close.

"What? You didn't know you had hair?" I asked curiously.

"It was burned off. I was told it would never grow back."

"Well, I felt quite a bit of it." I heard his jaw pop. Force he was smiling, I know it. "Are you smiling?"

"I don't smile."

I leaned close and peered at where his eyes were. "I can't see your eyes but you’re lying. You are smiling!"

Vader let go of my arm, picked me up by my waist and sat me on the floor. I back away, too close, if you get me.

Not sure what I was thinking but I stuck the hairs in a pouch on my belt.

The Answer I DIDN'T want

2006-11-26T14:35:00.000-05:00

I'm dead in the future. Wonderful news. I'm trilled.

I stared Vader down. He stared me down. I tapped my fingers on my hip.

"So, who are you? Or rather were are you?" I asked.

"It doesn't matter," he said, shortly.

I snorted. "Well, it matters to me. I can go back and kick your arse! Kick sense into you!"

Vader snorted back. "You couldn't kick my arse then and you can't now."

I reached for my lightsaber. "Want to test that theory?"

"Woman-"

"I have a name, Vader," I said, glaring.

"Put your saber away, Kriss." He walked to the large window and turned his back to me.

I clipped my saber back to my belt. "Why did you come back to my time anyway? Why contact me?"

I was getting that answer if it killed me.

Vader paused for the longest time. I was planning to stand there saying nothing till he answered, even if it took forever and then some.

"I remember you had a open mind and soft heart. You should have lived," he muttered. "You saw the good in people even when it wasn't apparent to anyone else."

"So, you want me to stoke your ego?" I said, as soon as the words popped out I felt bad. I sensed he was serious. I sighed. "You want me to find something good about you?"

"Not exactly," he replied. "There is more to it. Now."

My mouth dropped and my eyes bugged. "You do have hots for me! Oh, my stars and garters!"

Well, there it was, my answer. Vader turned at looked at my shocked expression. Breathe in, breath out, repeat.

"It's not that bad, woman," he said.

I gawked. “Oh? Let me run down the list for you. One: Jedi and Sith they don't mix. Two: You're annoying. Three: You're from the future. Four: Look at you! How do you kiss a girl wearing that thing on your head? Five: you have a bad temper! Six: I don't like you! Seven: I don't have a seven. Eight: You're a jerk!" I took a deep breath. "Did I mention you’re a jerk?"

"I'm not that bad or you wouldn't be here," he stated.

He did have a point. I did come here of my accord. And I have taken his gifts and comms, not really knowing why I did so. Ack! I sat down on the edge of the desk, laid back, and stared up at the ceiling.

"I'm rich."

I turned my head. "I'm Jedi, should I care?"

"It has it's advantages, even for a Jedi," Vader said.

I burst out laughing. This whole situation was ridiculous. "Okay, then buy me a planet. Name it Wickcatta and build me a huge house on the ocean," I joked.

"All right."

I laughed so hard I had tears rolling down my cheeks. "I was kidding!"

"I wasn't," he said seriously.

I really started to crack up. I rolled right off the desk and landed on the floor. Seriously, I was losing it, I think. I nearly peed my robes.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed though crackles. "This so unreal! Ouch, my knees!" Pulling myself to my feet, I got back on the desk and rubbed my knees. "You're not going to try to turn me to the Dark Side are you? It would never work."

Vader chuckled. "You half way there anyway, always were. You don't need me to try."

I wiped my face. "I am not! I don’t think."

Am I?

I need a drink!

TBC

Starch And Some Answers

2006-11-22T15:03:00.000-05:00

Location: Vader's Ship. Ten years in the future. (Dayum those time wormholes!)

Blast it! Have you any idea how bloody huge this ship it? I thought Republic ships were huge! I got so lost it wasn’t even funny. I couldn't ask anyone either where the hanger bay was because that would be like yelling, "I'm leaving!" I did find a map but it made the situation worse.

When I did find the hanger the place was a ant farm of activity, troopers and solders everywhere. I could see one fighter off the side close the doors, and close to controls to open the shields. Getting to it was the fun part.

I was getting ready to make my move when a shadow fell in front of me.

"Going some where, Jedi?" A voice cut through my thoughts.

"Who frack are you?" I asked.

"The name is Tarkin, Governor Tarkin," he said, stepping to the light.

Force what a uptight man! His uniform was so starched if he sat down he’d pop right back up and if he smiled, his whole face would crack and fall apart.

He was eyeing me as much as I was eyeing him. "Lord Vader didn't tell me you were allowed down here in the hanger bay," he snapped.

"I was told I could go anywhere I wanted," I span back.

"Well, yes but I hardly think Lord Vader meant you could come down here and escape."

"Escape? I thought I was guest. Guests don't have to escape, they leave," I told him tartly.

He said nothing, I had him there and he knew it.

"Does that stare intimidate people, Governor?" I smiled.

His eyes narrowed at me. "He should kill you again and save himself the trouble."

"Excuse me? Kill me again? Who?"

Tarkin leaned close. "You know nothing of the future, do you, Jedi?"

Ok, he had me there. I put my hand on my hip. "Maybe not. Why don't you tell me?"

Tarkin opened his mouth but a loud booming voice echoed across the hanger. "TARKIN!" I cringed and looked over my shoulder.

Dayum, it was Vader. He approached us looking much better than he did when we arrived. Stopping by me he looked from me to Tarkin.

"Go back where you came from," he spat at Tarkin. "NOW!"

"Yes, Lord Vader," he said taking a step back. With a disturbing smile he disappeared.

"Lovely fellow, Vader. I bet he has all the ladies after him," I said, craning my neck to look up at Vader.

"You, follow me," he barked and spun on his heel, cape swirling.

"Nice to see you, too," I muttered at his back.

Back inside the room I started out in, he spins on me. "Where did you think you where going?"

"Uh, home! Duh!"

"Why? We aren't finished talking," he snaps. "It's rude to run out on a conversation."

"Oh no, you did not just call ME rude!" I shouted. "You got lot of nerve, you oversized tuna can!"

"Don't ever call me an oversized tuna can again, woman," he said.

I crossed my arms. "Over- sized- tuna- can."

I ducked the flying chair and the two that came after it. Gods, what a temper! I can play that game too. I sent the nearest fallen chair right back at him. Nailed him right in the helmet.

"I like a girl with spirit!" he growled, tossing another chair.

"Don't say things like that, you harebrained nerf herder!" I shouted, ducking the chair and sending a lamp his way. "I'll switch off your air conditioning, I swear I will!"

Another lamp went soaring in the air, crashing down by my feet. "You missed! HA!" I nailed him the chest with a datapad. I was running out of things to toss. "And what this about you killing me again? If I find out I'm dead in the future and you killed me I’m going to be very upset!"

He froze. From his reaction, I could sense it. "Am I dead in this time? Don't lie to me."

"Yes."

"I knew it! I am dead! Frack it! Was it you? Tarkin sort of said it was. What did he mean?" I demanded to know.

"Ignore Tarkin, the starch affects his mind. Another killed you," Vader came back with.

"Who?"

"If I told you, you wouldn't believe me," he fired at me.

"Don't give me that crap! That's all you ever say, that and 'more than you know'. Open your mouth, say really words!" I shouted.

"Even if I told you, you won't be able to stop what is to be," he said harshly. "You will stay here."

"I'll stay here when Whomp Rats shoot out your-"

"If you go back, you will die," he shouted, cutting me off.

"So, what do you care if I end up dead?" I spat. He stared. "Blast it! You are the most annoying person, that I have ever met!"

"You think this bowl of apples for me, woman?" he said. "To see you alive?"

"I know you in my time?" I asked, shocked. "Who you were before-?" I waved my hand to the suit.

"Yes, you know me." He crossed his arms. "Very well."

Ack!

Old Friends

2006-11-18T16:30:00.000-05:00

I didn't say a thing to Vader the rest of flight. I couldn't after that last remark he made. When we got to Vader's ship, Vader took off to, I guess, repair himself and I was shown into a really nice room. I was told to wait, make myself at home, have some cookies.

Forget the cookies! Give me a fast ship! I wanted out of there. Uh... I still do. Frack it all to Fell, I'm still here!

The whole afternoon has passed. I was getting bored for one, and for two, clones kept walking in and staring at me. After the ninth one I got nasty. I hid, jumped out, and tackled the next one that came in. I knocked him on the ground and sat on him.

"All right, you want tell me why you guys keep coming in here?" I demanded.

"As much as I like you sitting on me, I really can't breathe, Kriss," a voice muttered.

"Tak?" I jumped up and he rolled over.

"I was till I walked in here," he answered, pulling off his helmet and smiled that goofy smile up at me. "That's better. You can pounce on me again."

"Get up, pervert," I said, holding my hand out to help him up. He took it and got to his feet. "Long time no see, Tak."

"Same to you. Looking good!"

"Still the cutest clone I see," I tossed back.

"Ah, you are good for the ego. That"s why he likes you, you know," Tak said.

I gave him a questionable look. "Vader? I haven't stoked that ego."

"You have you just don’t know it," he muttered.

"Oh, I have, huh? How?" I asked, folding my arms, giving him my 'oh really' look. He played dumb, saying nothing. "Whatever! Why do your brothers keep coming in here?" I demanded to know.

He grinned. "Cause you’re hot." I punched his arm hard. "All right! They just curious, that's all. They just want see who Vader- uh- has – been talking about."

"They've seen me before," I started to say. "Vader talks about me?"

Tak looked really uncomfortable. "Hmmmmmm," he hummed, looking away.

"Don't close up on me!"

"I can't tell you anything! Last thing I need is another chair coming at my head!"

I almost reached for the nearest chair. "Where is Vader?"

"That's why I'm here. He is still in the Med Lab, being repaired. He wanted me to tell you, you are guest and free feel to make his ship yours."

I smiled. "Good, tell the captain to turn the ship to the nearest wormhole and make for my time. I'd like to be home before dark."

Tak laughed. "Not exactly what Lord Vader had in mind."

"It's what I had in mind.” I thought for a second. "Can you get me a fighter? I really want to leave."

"Why? Vader bite you?" he asked with smirk.

"Not yet," I muttered. "Can you get me one?"

"Uh, no, I can't. But if you happen to go down to the hanger and happen to find one and happen to drop the shields... if you get me," Tak told me with a wink.

"Got ya." I gave him a half hug. "I happen to be going that way now."

TBC

Q & A Sort Of

2006-11-13T23:57:00.000-05:00

Continued from previous post.

"Mind turning on the exhaust, Vader? You're smoking it up in here," I asked, looking over his seat. Vader complied but didn't say anything. I could hear a crackling noise coming from his suit; I think it was his arms. "Are you sure you can fly this thing?"

"I don't need my arms to fly," he replie tartly.

I sat back down, my back against his seat and palmed my face. "Why I'm in here with you? I must be crazy," I muttered.

"So we can talk," Vader said.

I suddenly wasn't in the mood to talk. "Then talk."

Not a word for about ten minutes. Then he pops off with, "I used to be a Jedi."

"Oh?" I said, playing the 'I don’t care' card.

Another ten minutes of silence, "I knew Skywalker very well," he said.

"Figures," I muttered. Who didn't know Anakin?

Long pause before I asked, "Care to tell me who Sidious really is?"

"No."

"So, he still lives in the future?" I asked casually.

"Unfortunately," was the crisp reply.

"Can I meet him?"

"No."

Well, I thought I try, you know?

I tapped my fingers on my face. "How well did you know Anakin?"

Long pause again. "Too damn well."

Interesting.

"I killed him," he said, off the wall like it was nothing.

My eyes bugged. I almost whipped around but I just sat there. Took everything I had not to move.

"After that incident back there how could you possibly kill Anakin?" I asked.

The pause was longer this time. "Actually, he killed himself, depending how you look at it."

My mouth dropped open. An Ewok could have climbed in and made a nest on my tongue.

"Want to Explain that?" I prodded.

"No."

"You can't just drop a missile like that not explain!" I told him.

"Yes, I can."

I'm sitting there thinking over what he has told me, tapping my fingers. Personally, I don't know about you, but I think that last part is pure pudu. Staring out a port window, I waited for him to say something else.

Nothing.

I asked, "Why do you follow me, comm me, send me stuff?"

Again nothing.

If you remember, we were supposed to meet so I could get some answers on that. I mentioned that to Vader.

"And I said I might tell you," he said.

"Which means you’re not going to tell me, right?"

"Precisely," he answered.

"I give up!"

I threw up my hands and to got my knees. I was going to ask him to turn this piece of crap around but we were in deep space by then. I waved the smoke out of my face and looked over his shoulder.

"I really don't like you, you know," I said.

His turned. "You will."

My mouth dropped again. "Conceited!" Then it hit me what he might mean. "EWWWW! That better not mean what I think it means!”

I think I'm going to be sick!

TBC

The Aftermath

2006-11-08T01:15:00.000-05:00

You're might be wondering what happened between Anakin and Vader. *Shakes head* I wasn’t going to watch, but I ended up seeing it anyway. I was trying to leave the Temple and I walked right into to it. They were in front of the Temple, a crowd watching. I knew I should have gone the back way.

Force, it was ULGY! Those two nearly killed each other! At first, it was no Force, no lightsabers. That lasted all of about fifteen minutes. Vader was the first to use his power. He sent Anakin flying down the steps with a push. Needless to say, after that it was on.

I'm not going into a lot details or you'll be here all week reading about it. But Vader wasn't lying; he does know all Anakin's moves. For some reason, it doesn't surprise me. Anakin would go at him and Vader would counter strike almost the same way. Ani was so mad, you could see steam coming out of his cute ears.

I wasn't about to step in the middle of it either. I don't want to die, you see. Never try to stop Anakin when he is on a roll. It was ridiculous; the two of them, fighting like children. Even Obi-Wan stayed out of the way. But I did hear that Yoda and Mace were taking bets on who would win.

As it ended up, both knocked each silly. Anakin went flying back on the steps and Vader ended up a hood-ornament on his tie-fighter. Anakin was rubbing his chin, and was getting to his feet to go back for the kill when Obi-Wan stepped front of him, telling him that,that was enough.

I noticed Vader hadn't moved and there was smoking coming off him. Obi-Wan dragged Anakin back inside and to the Med Bay, as he passed by me, he said, "Get him out of here. And tell him next time he comes here the whole Temple will deal with him."

I had to climb on the fighter to get to him. He was just lying there, not moving. I poked at him with my foot. I would have thought him dead if it hadn't been for the breathing. I stood over him, one leg on each side of him, leaned down and tapped his helmet.

"Vader?" I asked, brushing the smoke out of my face. "You alive in there?"

"You are on my cape!" he muttered.

I rolled my eyes and kicked it out from under my foot. "I really think you should be more concerned with the smoke coming out of you than me standing on your cape."

He growled. "It’s new."

I leaned my weight on my knees. "Not anymore," I said smartly.

"Is there a reason you are standing over me, Jedi?" he demanded hotly.

"I making sure you live and to give you a message," I replied, telling him what Obi-Wan said.

He snorted. "Get off me!"

"I'm not on you! I’m over you!" I spat back.

"Move, or I’ll move you!" he hissed.

"Please! You can't move yourself!"

He muttered something I couldn't understand, then said, "Did I kill him?"

"Anakin? Ha! Hardly!" I told him. "But he put the spank on you it seems."

Vader’s head turned to look at me. "Put the 'what' on me, woman?"

"The spank down. He kicked your butt," I teased.

Vader sat up really fast and caught me by the throat. Not tightly, he couldn't, his arms were tad messed up. "Whoa, big boy!" I said brushing the hand away and he fell back. "Okay, so he didn't beat up you that bad. He's just in better shape than you are. Less durasteel parts and all."

Vader reached out and grabbed my right knee and wiggled his fingers. Needless to say, I moved. I'm very ticklish there, and I nearly broke my neck trying to back away. Not only was it odd, but also no one knows about that but-

"Who told you about that?" I questioned as he somehow got his hulking frame up.

"No one," he hissed.

"Bantha pudu! You didn't get that from my head. I would have sensed you. Who told you?" I demanded.

"Whom did you tell?" he asked smugly in reply.

"Who did I tell? None of your business, that's who! Who told you?' I demanded, following Vader off the top of the tie-fighter.

He was wobbly; apparently Anakin had gotten a few shot on his legs as well as his arms. Vader ignored me and flipped open the hatch on the cockpit. I reached over and slammed it back down, missing his fingers.

"Excuse me! I'm asking you a question!"

"Excuse you, Jedi!" Up it went again. I waved my hand. It slammed down.

He came round and pointed a finger. "If you break my hinges, I'll break your head!"

"You aren't in any condition to toss threats. You are smoking."

Vader gets into his fighter, completely ignoring me, which drives me nuts. The engines fire up and his head turns to me.

"Get in, Kriss."

By the Force, you know, I did get in. I guess it was the way he called me Kriss.

TBC

Purr! I have moved.

2006-11-05T13:12:00.000-05:00

My speak/type thingy is busted and no longer works, so DJK has offered to let me play on hers and she will type for me. Purr! While she adds my posts, I will play with her hair. Purr.

Stop calling me Darth!

2006-11-01T14:06:00.000-05:00

"Excuse me?" I said, standing before the holoprojector.

"You heard me. Stop calling me, Darth, woman! My name is Vader!"

Tell me again why I took this call? Because the switchboard operator was sick of taking messages and lying about where I was. So I decided to take the next one. I mean, really, 70 messages and threats are too much, don't you think? I wanted to get to the bottom of this nuttiness.

"Aren't you a 'Darth'?" I asked glumly.

He crossed his arms and I supposed, glared. "All Sith Lords are 'Darth' something or another, Jedi. My name is Vader. V.a.d.e.r."

I rolled my eyes. He didn't have to spell it. "And who came up with that name?"

Darth, excuse me, V.A.D.E.R., shifted on his feet. "Palp- Sidious did."

"It's interesting. What does it mean?" I asked curiously.

"Invader or something," he replied flatly.

Original. That Sidious, brilliant. (Sarcasm) Could be worse, he could have called him Darth Tater.

I took a deep breath. "Okay, VADER, let's get this over with. Clear the air. What's up the holos? The remarks, the roses, following me around, and the- " I looked around for the box. "The Imperial brownies? By the way, those were very good, thank you. Oh, and is that you I keep seeing flying around here?"

Vader stared, again I assume, he was staring. His fingers stared tapping on his arms, and his asthmatic breathing grated my nerves. "What order do you want those answered in?" Vader snorted at his own joke.

I reached for the console. "Hanging up now-"

"Don't you dare! I'll pop-" he started.

I cut him off. "If you say it, I swear, I'm going to forget I'm Jedi, fly myself through a time worm hole, board your ship and beat your helmet in!"

"Your head off," he finished as if I said nothing.

ACK! I had to close my eyes and count to ten. "Meet me and I'll answer you," he said and my flashed open.

"Meet you? Are you mad? I've seen enough of you for a lifetime! You are a serious pain in my Republic backside!"

He snorted again. "Not very Jedi of you."

"Like you would know," I told him.

"Oh, I know." Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in breathe out. "More than you know."

"I hate it when you say that! 'More than you know',” I mocked. "Just tell me all ready!"

"Meet me and maybe I'll tell you."

Right about then my head was beginning to ache. "If I meet you will you say whatever you have to say and leave me alone after that?"

"No."

I gritted my teeth. "Do you have to be maddening?” Sith Spit! (Not a pun.) He chuckled. WTF? "Fine! I'll meet you. One time, that's it. Somewhere private, I don't need anyone seeing me with you. I get enough grief about the date and that party you crashed," I told him.

I named the place and the time. Force help me!, I'm getting to the bottom of this cause he is driving me nuts! Wish me luck.

I think I'm going to need it.

TBC

Update! I would like to humbly say I'm sorry for the fight between Vader and Anakin in the comment section. I was checking my commnets with A.O.T.S. Anakin Over The Shoulder. And well, you see what happened. I tried to stop it but that wasn't happening. Anyway, feel free to commnet anyway. *shakes head*

Hallowen At the Temple

2006-10-30T23:18:00.000-05:00

Meow! Party tommorw and I get suck wearing this! Purr! Not funny! I am not amused! But it's what my pets picked for me. Purr.

Feline Advice for the day: Don't dress your cat like a dogs!! MEOW!

Jedi Musings Of A Cat

2006-10-24T15:20:00.000-04:00

I'm not the only animal around here. There is Tee, DJK's Ewok and he annoys me, two other cats and Bob the Bantha. Meow! He is just gross. Never say, what is it?Ah, yes. Purr. Never say, Pickle, around him.

And no, purr, I don't really make Anakin sneeze. He fakes it. With me and other furry animals. (Don't tell him I tell I told you! Purr.) He actually is very kind to me. He lets me sleep on his robes. (Don't tell him I told you that either!)

Obi-Wan has the best stash of snacks and the best pillows. Purr. Pays to be a Master!

DJK has the nicest hair to nest in. Purr.

I love to play around Barriss' ankles while she is healing people! Purr.

Erifa, purr! Love her Lekkus! Always something dangling off them to play with! Purr.

Phobia leaves me tuna. Ahhhhh, tuna! Purr.

Now, Mace Windu! HISS! A mean sour puss! (No pun intended. Purr!) I can see my face on his head!

Meow! Well not always my head!

Very naughty of me, don’t you think? Meow!

Feline advice of the day: Don't shine your head to much. You might see something reflecting back you don't like! Purr!

OUCH!

2006-10-16T23:43:00.000-04:00

Obi-Wan and Anakin left for a mission today. Purr. I tried to go with them. I snuck in the starfighter and hid under the seat. Purr. But Anakin found me, and removed me. Meow! I made him sneeze.

Not one to take no for an answer, I charged for the starfighter again as they began to take off. Purr. I forgot about the glass of the cockpit. Hiss! I hit the glass doing 5 miles an hour.

Bonk!

Meow! I have a headache!

Feline advice of the day: Do not forget starfighters have glass and if you hit it, it hurts. Purr.

My 50th Post, Flashbacks

2006-10-16T13:33:00.000-04:00

Whooohoo! Made it to 50. Flashback time! But first I would like to thank each of you for commneting and inspiring me to contiune this blog. I do this for you, to make you laugh. A great big hug to you all.

The following pictures and posts can be found Here.

This was from a Halloween party a few years ago.

Jedi Toga Party

One of Faves. Anakin during his rapper faze. (Four hours of work to make this)

This next set of pictures and posts can be found Here.

Obi-Wan and Pookie the Bear

Anakin did Ob-Wan laundry. (Bad idea)

Yoda in his pajamas.

Purr! Hello!

2006-10-12T12:26:00.000-04:00

Purr! Yes, it's me. Gar-Gar. And yes, I can talk. Purr. Not on my own, of course not. I was so frustrated not being able to say what I want say that I in search of something, anything to help me get my point across. I followed Anakin Skywalker down to- I don’t know what it's called- a room filled lot of noise and sparkles. Purr.

In here, I found a collar. Purr. Caught my eye cause it was pretty and shiny. The Jedi Temple is filled with lots of shiny, noise making things to play with. Like Obi-Wan’s bootlaces. Purr.

I stuck my head in it. Curiosity killed the cat, my left paw! I felt a tingle in my neck and I thought I wonder? I opened my mouth and said the first thing that came to mind.

"Anakin."

Anakin was standing a few meters away. He looked over his shoulder at the sound of his name, really confused cause no one was there. Purr. He looked down at me with the funniest expresstion.

I love Anakin, talented and funny, and he has the cutest girls hanging around him all the time. Purr! My hero. Let's see, there is Padme, she gets three meows of approval. Then there is Barriss, three meows of approval, too (cute feet). And then there is Kriss, three meows of approval and a purr. Erifia, fiery and blue, three meows and a purr, purr.

And many more. Purr.

Now I can talk, I'm going to have fun with it. Purr. I can't type unfortunately. Paws, not fingers. So, I asked one of my Jedi pets to install one of those voice activated thingy's that type for you. Purr. I have lot to say, when I feel like it.

Daily feline advice: Never eat before riding a speeder with Anakin! Meow!

Purr! Thank you to my Jedi pet, Kriss for putting up my picture. Purr!

Anakin's First Halloween Party At The Temple

2006-10-12T00:58:00.000-04:00

This tale is about the first Halloween party Anakin attended at the Temple. On first hearing about it, Anakin was so excited I thought his head would burst. Then, as the date for the party got closer, I noticed he was not so happy.

"What’s a matter with you?" I asked one day, plopping down next to him at the table.

"I have no idea what to dress up as," he told me, pouting. "What are you going as?"

I smiled. "I thought of dressing up as cookie, but someone might try to eat me," I told him and he laughed. "So, I decided to be an Ewok."

"What is with you and short fuzzy things?" he asked, shaking his head.

"I like animals, Ani. Ewoks are cute!"

"You'll make me sneeze just looking at you!"

I rolled my eyes. "Do you know what Master Obi-Wan is going as?"

He leaned over and whispered in my ear and I spit my milk, eyes going wide, laughing. "You're kidding me right?"

"Nope. I seen the costume myself," he told me.

I thought I would die laughing. I couldn't wait to see this!

Then I had an idea for him. Anakin's face lit up.

"Now that's an idea!" he nearly shouted.

Obi-Wan looks cute, doesn't he? Heeehee!

TBC

Too Cute

2006-10-02T01:21:00.000-04:00

I'm cooling my heels around here. I was supposed to go on a mission but it was canceled and to top it off Barriss has gone missing. Even Anakin has been quiet, under his starfighter, tinkering away, barely speaking. I know his problem is Dooku and that thing he built and not being able to go after him just yet.

Thankfully, Darth has been quiet. Not one single holo from him in awhile or any out of character gifts either. *deep sigh of relief* Not sure I could even handle him right about now. Although, I thought I saw him yesterday- well, his tie fighter.

Bored out my mind, I went to find Gar-Gar, the Temple cat. I half expected him to be haunting Ani or Obi-Wan but I found him in his room. Yes, he has his own room. The younglings insisted he have his own little room with his own little bed.

We spoil that cat too much. Even Master Yoda likes him, and we know how he is. All the younglings decorated Gar-Gar's room and it's adorable. That cat has more toys than Jedi's have cookies.

I walk in there and Gar-Gar is on his little couch with his head in a bag of Cheetos. He jumps out when he hears me and gets all excited. Meowing, he paws at the small table beside the couch. I wandered over to see what it was he was wanting to show me and there it was.

A new picture of his favorite Jedi and him. It's too cute, I tell you.

I think that cat likes him more than I do. *Dies laughing*

(Note from author: Sorry I haven’t been around, but I’m back now!)

The Smell of Brownies

2006-09-25T15:58:00.000-04:00

I found out today that Barriss is missing from the Temple. How I found out was very odd. I was sitting in the Infirmary and I began to smell brownies. Not your average brownies, these were Qui-Gon brownies I smelt.

It was faint at first, but as I followed it, it got stronger. I ended up in Barriss' quarters, and there it was like stepping into a kitchen. Hot, warm, and mouth watering. Of course, Anakin had beat me there. I wont make a joke about his nose. I could but I won't.

"Take it you smell that, too?" he asked as I walked in.

"Yeah, odd smell to come from in here." I wondered if he recognized the particular type of brownies we smelled.

"Qui-Gon," he muttered.

Quick back note: on Tatooine when Qui-Gon found Anakin, after the pod race he made those special brownies for everyone. You never forget the smell of them, trust me. Very unique.

Barriss’ room didn't look slept in, much less lived in. It was very neat, tidy. Anakin wandered around, not touching anything, but looking. "I get the impression she hasn't been here for awhile," he said. "I'm going to go see if I can locate Erifa."

I nodded and watched him go. The smell of brownies intensified after he left. I usually don’t go around talking to myself but I whispered, "Qui-Gon?"

"Depends on your point of view," a voice whispered back. I sensed the reply before it came but it still startled me. He was, after all, dead. To be honest, I nearly came out of my boots.

If you have never seen a Force ghost, you had no idea. They glow blue and you can see right through them. Unnerving to some people, Jedi or not, and my nerves were already on edge because of you know who.

"She isn't here, little one," Qui-Gon told me.

I completely forgot about Barriss for a second, I was surprised to see him. "Is that why you are here?"

"That and because of you." I waited. He stared at me. "Oh, you want me to go on?"

I blinked. "Uh... yes?"

"This Darth Vader, stay away from him, you'll wish you hadn't"

"Why? Other than obvious reasons," I asked.

"Just trust me on that. And keep an eye on Anakin. A close one," he answered, very seriously. "You really want to do that."

"I do that anyway," I said. Well, I do!

"Not what I mean, but it will do for now. As for Barriss, mourning moon."

"Mourning moon?" I knotted my brows. "What does that mean?"

"I can't tell you," he answered.

I waved a hand. "That doesn't help!"

"It does, if you think on it."

"Are you taking classes from Master Yoda on riddles in the afterlife?" But I smiled. Same old Qui-Gon.

He smiled then looked to the door. "Anakin is coming back. Don't tell him we spoke, he is not ready."

"And I am?"

"More than you know," he replied and disappeared.

Whatever that means. Anakin came back in and paused, sniffing the air. "I don't smell it anymore." I didn’t say anything. "What’s up with that expression?"

"Just thinking."

Anakin smirked. "Looks like you’re having a hard time doing it."

"Shut up, Skywalker."

He laughed then got serious. "Erifa is gone."

I looked at him. "What does 'mourning moon' mean?"

Anakin rubbed his neck. I love it when he does that. "I have no clue. Why do you ask?"

"No reason."

"Then why ask?"

"Anakin!"

He shrugged. "Sorry. I’ll go see what I can find out. If Barriss left the Temple, someone must have seen her leave. I'll let you know."

He left again and I went to the Archives. I research but I need to know what 'mourning moon' means. That is where I am right now.

Unfortualy I keep getting distracted by holos about Darth Vader. He decided to post last night.

I spent the rest of the night in the Infirmary the night of the party. I know you wonder why. Well, Darth is a Sith Lord from ten years in the future, and well, he's just evil. Really evil, so I hear.

Not the kinda guy you want giving you roses. I think I should follow Qui-Gon's advice on that situation.

And why would I care to see him fixing his lightsaber?

He must own a really cheap saber! LOL!

(Note from author: I didn't make this picture but props to whoever did. LMAO!)

Party Crasher

2006-09-20T23:46:00.000-04:00

Becca and myself were sitting in the bar, a bit bored. The party was all right, but not lively enough. So we order around of drinks and started talking. We discussing the odd people at this party.

"And I thought the nightclubs in city had the oddest people," I said to her, taking a drink.

"I don't know," Becca replied, "I've met some pretty odd people traveling with Erifia. But there are so many different races here... I don't know, its like... The melting pot of the universe."

A man with six eyes passed us, eyeing us with all six of them. "Now that is just creepy."

"I don't know... At least you know one set of eyes is looking at yours... " Becca smiled and took a sip of her drink.

I spied Anakin with Padme. "I guess he found what he was looking for. Oh, did you see Obi-Wan being chased by those girls?" I started laughing.

"No. I missed it," Becca said with obvious distaste for the name, 'Obi-Wan'.

I rolled my eyes. "He didn't know what to do. You think Ewoks or something was attacking him. I think they went after Ani first."

"I don't know about all of that, I've been relaxing all day, enjoying vacation away from Erifia and her Tauntaun."

"Oh, yeah. Much better here than stuck in the Temple," I said. "I need another drink. You want one? Or two?"

"No thanks... I think I'll stick with Shirley Temples... I don't like alcohol, it makes... I don't know... It confuses me," she said as I stood up.

I was coming back from bar with a tray of drinks when it started. Something was going on outside the entrance. Security was running out of nowhere, there was shouting, and few screams. I could hear laser blasts and the familiar hum of a lightsaber.

First though? Anakin has decided to slaughter a poor Tusken that happen to join the party.Second thought? Grievous crashed the party and Anakin was slaughtering him. I was WAY off.

I sat the tray down and walked out of the bar area. I got half way there before I sensed whom it was causing the mayhem. I rolled my eyes in my head and slapped my forehead.

There in his impressive, asthmatic glory was Darth Vader.

I cast a look around; Anakin was itching to pull his saber out. I could tell, but Padme was standing there. Obi-Wan, surrounded by a pack of goggling girls looked as if he was ready to go as well. So, I got to thinking, I could just stand there and watch or go stop this mess before it's really ugly.

Why was he even there anyway? This party wasn't his style, not that I would know his style, mind you. One can just tell. I mean, really, does he strike you as a party guy? I didn't think so. So, I just stood there, watching the security as they were tossed around. (Note; no one hurt during the making of this scene.) One of them landed at my feet. He looks up at me, angrily.

"You could help here!" he cried.

I shrugged. "You were the one who insisted I leave my lightsaber at the door."

"Well, use the Force for something!" he whines.

"Against that?" I pointed to Darth. "Out matched, out Forced."

"Bloody worthless Jedi!" The guy spits and jumps up.

Ok, that ticked me off. How rude! Fine, I would do something. I placed my fingers on my lips and let out a sharp, loud whistle. "Hey, knock it off!" I shouted to Darth. He whips around and drops the guard he was holding to the floor. Everyone freezes.

Pointing at me with his finger, he shouts, "You! Woman, I don't have time to talk to you now!"

“Yes, I can see you're busy," I said sarcastically. I moved closer, dodging the next guard to take a outbound flight.

"So am I, woman." Darth fired back as he yet up another charging guard and tossed him at my feet.

I jumped over the poor fool and stepped as close I was going to get. "Stop doing that! Take a chill!" I asked a guard, who was, lucky to still be standing, what was going on.

"He wanted in, refused to give up his weapon. And refused to have that suit checked for other weapons," the little guy told me. "He went nuts when we told him without a search he wasn’t coming in."

"Just what do you think he's hiding in there anyway?" I raised my hand, "Never mind don’t answer that."

Darth grabs a guy with a Force choke, and here comes the Intergalactic Superstar and Obi-Wan, lightsabers out. I grabbed Darth's arm. This was about to really nasty.

"Take your hand off me, woman!" he hisses.

"Let the nice man go and tell me why you're here and we'll straighten this mess up," I suggested, doing my Obi-Wan 'lets talk this over' act.

"I'm here to see you!" Darth snarls.

I was dumb founded. "All this to see me?"

"YES!" Plop! Guard falls. Was I supposed to think that was sweet or really disturbing? The jury is still out on that verdict. But I said, "Uh, ok. Then you stop fling people and we go outside." The whole time I'm waving Obi-Wan and Anakin back just out Darth's range of vision.

The whole room goes still again. He looks at me, then Anakin, then back to me, then to Obi-Wan, then back to me again, then back to the crowd of guards.

"Forget it!" he hisses and jerks away, stomping off, right out the doors. What was the point of that? I didn't get to think on it, because he came storming right back and shoves something at me and stomps away again.

Oh, this can't be good, can it? Ever seen a Jedi have a panic attack? Well, I have because I had one. Becca had to rent a ship just to take me back to the Temple. I ended up in the Infirmary with Barriss who thought I had lost a marble or two. I think I did. Anyone finds those please send them to me AASP. I am going to need them.

I'm going to go hide in the closet again after turning off this console, puling the wires out of the wall.

What did he hand me? EEK! A red rose! *runs and hides*

Oh! Here is the picture that supposed to go with the previous post. Better late than never! Can we say MEOW?

(Note from author: Erifia will hitting the airwaves again Thursday at 2 p.m. eastern time! Our own Barriss is to be blog spotlight of the week! Click to listen Rock on, Firewalker!)

Sneaking To The Party

2006-09-18T13:20:00.000-04:00

It was a clever plan, but Anakin always has one up his robe somewhere. But it didn't go as planned.

I snuck on the transport Ani told me he and Obi were using to go Sky City. It's not very big and the only place I hide was in refresher, in a locker. The things I do to have a little fun. *rolls eyes* Talk about cramped. It was not fun.

I nearly died when Obi-Wan came in. Thank the Force his back was to me, cause hearing it was enough. Not something you want to see a Jedi Master doing, trust me. It took all the restraint I could muster not to laugh.

After an hour of several people coming in when Anakin came in, that was it.

"You are NOT using this refresher, Skywalker!" I said, popping out just as the door closed. He nearly jumped out of his boots. You gota be a good stalker to sneak up on the Chosen One! LMAO!

"Sith Spit! Don't do that!" he almost yelled. "Of all the places to hide!"

I shrugged. "This ship is as small as fighter! There isn't anywhere else! Besides Becca is in the only empty crate."

Anakin busted out laughing. "At least you have a view!"

I popped his arm. "Not funny. Not one bit! Obi-Wan was in here! Ewww!" It was then I noticed his clothes and hair. "What in the galaxy are you wearing?"

“Clothes,” he said sarcastically. "You like?"

Let me try to not have a fangirl moment here. OK, I’m ok now.

I nodded really slowly. "Yeah. The hair... is different too."

Would you believe I was so fluttered I forgot to take a picture?

"Two hours and two bottles of hair gel," Anakin said, then changed the subject. "We should be there in fifteen minutes or so."

"Good, keep Obi-Wan out of here," I said. "I really can't go through that again."

"I would told him it was broken if I had known you in here."

"No, you wouldn't have." And we know I speak the truth.

He laughed. "You're right, I wouldn't have." See?

He left and I went back in locker. A little while later we landed. I came out after everyone was gone and found Becca and we left the ship.

More coming...

(Note from author: there was supposed to be a picture with this post but my pc was going nuts on me and the picture I was working did NOT want to work right! Tell me why Ankain's head just doesnt want to fit on Hayden's body? something about that is just not right... lol!)

Date With Darth Part Two

2006-09-11T22:02:00.000-04:00

Here is part two. Sit back and don't drink or eat anything while reading.

We finally get into Dex's. I walk in with hulking monster behind me, and very eye in the place stares. Dex is smirking at me. I swear I'm never speaking to him again. Okay, I lied, I will.

He had reserved us a table in the back. Thank the Force for that. I could hide.

A waitress comes over and I order a drink, Jawa Juice, and a big one. A really big one. Darth orders the same, then sits there, staring. At least, I think he was staring, hard to tell with that helmet on.

"I want that negative back," he finally said.

"I'm not talking about that tonight, Darth," I told him.

"You will give it me."

"No, I won’t."

"I'll pop- "

I gave him a very nasty look. "My head. That's getting old."

"Woman- "

"Shut up!" I said angrily. "Or I'll leave!"

"I don't care!"

"Fine!" I got up.

Now here's the strange part. He grabs my arm. "Sit down!"

"Why?" I asked.

"I said so!" he said.

"By the Force, you are worse than Anakin after eating chocolate!" I cried.

"You're making a scene, woman! Now sit down!" Darth shouts.

"Make me, you bully!" I shouted back.

He stood up. I sat down. What can I say? Darth is seven feet tall to my five/four, and very loud.

The waitress comes back and I gulped down half of Jaw Juice before Darth could get his straw out. Then he seemed to be having trouble getting it in one of the holes of his mask so he could drink.

I'm a nice person, so I helped him. I reached over and shoved it in. I kinda heard him say ouch. It got stuck! Not my fault.

I grabbed a menu and pretended to read it. Slurp, slurp, slurp. Out comes the straw and he burps. I almost giggled.

"How do you eat wearing that, if I may ask?" I had to know.

"Blender," he muttered. "And a larger straw."

I shouldn't have asked. Time to change the subject. I peeked over the menu. "So, tell me about yourself. Real name, age, why you're so grumpy all the time?”

"I'm not grumpy, I'm a Sith."

"How did you know that picture was of Dooku?" I inquired.

Darth says nothing for a few seconds. "I've seen it before."

"Oh?"

No reply. Next question. "Why did you enter the contest?" No reply. Moving on. "How’s therapy going?"

"You ask to many question, Jedi," Darth said shortly. "1, 2, 3, 4- " BANG! He slams his fist on the table.

"Goodness, you have a temper! I'm not going to sit here and not talk. I don't know anything about you. I'm just making conversation," I told him.

"You know enough," was his reply.

"No, I do not."

"Yes, you do!"

Here we go again. Now I'm thinking, if I can excuse myself and climb out the bathroom window, I can get back to the Temple before he knows I'm gone. I was just about to do that when the waitress comes back and asks, snapping her chewing gum, if there was a problem.

Darth stares at her. Snap, snap, chomp, chomp. "You look like a Bantha chewing grass,' Darth muttered. She was chewing so hard she didn't hear him and asked what we wanted.

"One of everything," Darth replies.

"Excuse me, dear? I didn't catch that," the waitress chomps at him.

"I said, one of everything. Don't make me say it again!" he shouts. "And bring me a blender!"

You can imagine my surprise. I stared at Darth. "One of everything?"

"I'm hungry."

Sorry, Jaba that is going to be one heck of a bill. Don't blame me.

The food started coming, plate by plate. I nibbled on this and that and watched Darth blend up his food and drink it. Disturbing, I tell you, but not a gross as I thought it would be. I have seen Anakin eat bugs, so I can handle this.

It was kinda cute watching him stuff fries in his facemask, and suck them in. Did I just say that? EEK!

Anyway, he doesn't say anything for a long time, just eats. Darth isn't so bad as long as he can't talk. He floated food to my plate, which was nice of him. Kept my drink filled too.

I don't know why I did it. I really don't. I flicked a fry at him. He froze, stared at me and flicked it back. With no expression at all, I lifted another and tossed it at his head.

Never start a food fight with a Sith Lord in a black suit. You can't win. Didn't stop me from trying, although.

We made a really big mess. I had things in my hair I can't spell. When the Bantha ribs came at me, it got ugly. Mashed potato on his helmet is hilarious, I don't care who you are!

I think we gave Dex a heart attack!

The only reason it stopped was the pie. I smashed the pie in his face. He clogged up and started coughing. "Oh, pudu!" I cried and tried to remove the mess so he could breathe. The only way to get it out was to stick my hand, I have small hands, up under his mask and push it out.

"Sorry," I said and waited for him to get mad. He didn't. Instead, he hit me in the face the rest of the pie.

I was cleaning off my face when someone marches up to the table.

"Lord Vader, excuse- " I looked up to see Tak standing there, his mouth falling to the floor at the sight of Darth covered in food.

"What?" Darth shouted. Tak can only stare from Darth to me and back again. Darth crosses his arm and casually flicks potato off his arm. "Sometime today would be nice!"

"Uh, yes, sir! Lord Sidious is requesting your presence, Lord Vader," Tak finally manages to say.

"Well, I’m busy!"

"Yes, sir!" Tak answers and waits. "What do I tell him, sir?"

Darth tapped his fingers together. "Tell him to fly a kite to the Death Star! I don't care! Go away!" he shouted in a child like way.

It creeps me out how sometimes he reminds me of Anakin. And right then he sounded a lot like a nine year old Anakin Skywalker.

Tak leaves but not before he leans over and whispers, "20,000 credits if you can make him laugh," before he walks away.

"At least you didn't toss a chair at him this time," I said to Darth was Tak walked off, smiling.

"Oh yeah, forgot." Up goes a chair and it flies at Tak, knocking him over.

And then Darth laughs, really letting it out. Tak could hear it, and I made the signal to 'show me the credits'. He was pouting under his helmet as he got up and left, I know it.

So, the date was pretty much over after that. Darth took me back to the Temple and this time stayed put in his ship. I stood outside of it. Awakard momnent here.

"You aren't half bad for a Jedi," he muttered.

"You aren't half bad for a Sith Lord," I replied.

We said good night and he left.

Oh, and Tak was right! Darth does smell like English Leather and baked ham! LMAO!

End note: Sorry about that huge bill, Jaba, and the bill for the Dex sent you for cleaning up the place. LMAO!

An intermission

2006-09-09T16:32:00.000-04:00

Seeing how Darth is being slow about getting his frist part of our 'date' up, I figured I would insert a small intermisson here for your silly viewing fun. And to let him know that I did send that negitve of him and the bear formally know as Mr. Snuggles by Space Mail this morning. You sould get it very soon.

Only reason I did this was becasue he didn't try to kill me. Or 'pop my head' on our date.

The Truth About Darth Vader

I knew he wasn't human!

Nanner, nanner, Darth!

My Date With Darth Part One

2006-09-07T11:42:00.000-04:00

As much a I dreaded this, I got ready for my... date with Darth. Jaba insisted I get all purrtied up. I refused to wear a dress but I did get a nice pantsuit, so I was a 'purrtied up' as a Jedi Knight can get.

I left my quarters and made my way down to the main hall. When I got down there, there was a ruckus outside the Temple doors. Knights kept running out the doors, a few of them coming back in flying, literally. One flew over my head; I ducked.

"What the- " I started to say then it hits me. "Oh!" I run out the doors and Darth is on the top step fighting off about 20 Jedi Knights. I had told him NOT to come to the doors, and that if he did it would be ugly. I was right.

He was holding them off, tossing them around like toys, quite easily. I was impressed, especially when Anakin went flying by. The Chosen One landed on his booty, and boy, was he mad about that!

It took me all of twenty minutes to stop all the commotion. First, I had to tackle Anakin. *giggles* Then I called off the others. Darth just stands there, saber lit, taunting them in this irratating way.

"Can I plug his respirator with mud?" Anakin muttered.

"After I get back, yes," I told him. "Let me get through this and you can do whatever you like."

"Good to know," Anakin said. "Make sure you give him a hug." At my expression he grinned. "Then slide your saber in his ribs... if you can find them."

I rolled my eyes and walked over to Darth. "Please tell me you didn't come to pick me up on a scooter."

"Hardly," he muttered, and waved his hand behind him. There was a strange looking starfighter hovering on the street.

"What the heck is that?"

"A tie-fighter," he muttered, through breaths. "Get in."

"Well, open the darn cockpit door!" I snapped.

"You got hands, open it yourself, woman!" he snapped back.

After I got into his tie-fighter, I realized that this thing is so small it's not even funny. How does he even fit in here, I wondered. I mean his head takes up most of the space and both us are supposed to fit in here?

The only thing I could do was get on my knees and hold on the back of his seat. Nice, a real ladies man here. Can't even pick up a chick in a decent ride.

When Darth pulled on the throttle, I went flying backwards, rolling over and slamming into the back of the tiny craft. I still don't know how there was room for me to do that, but I did. When I got up, or back to my knees, I slapped the back of his helmet.

"Who taught you to fly?" I spat hotly. He made a sound that sounded like a chuckle. I slapped him again. "Not funny!"

"Stop hitting me, woman!"

I slapped him again. "I have a name and it's not woman!"

"Dark Jedi Krisssssssssss," he said like a snake.

Eek! Didn't like the sound of that at all. "Never mind, just call me woman."

Now in this tiny cockpit, his breathing echoes. Seriously, it does. It started to irritate me, and I began to drum my fingers on the back of his seat. It should have took five minutes to get to Dex's and for some reason he was taking the long way around. The longer it took, the harder I tapped.

"Stop that!" he shouted.

"Stop what?" I asked.

"That!"

"That, what?"

He reaches back and slammed his hand on top of mine. "THAT!"

"OUCH!" I cried. That wasn't a fleshly hand that just slammed on mine, but durasteel!. "Bloody Mustafar! You are such a creep!"

"I am not a creep, Jedi," he hissed.

"You pick me up in a box, flip me over my head, and try to break my fingers all in less than ten minutes! What do you think that makes you?" I told him hotly.

"Nice. I could do worse."

Rolling my eyes, I said, "Kill me now!"

"I can do that too!"

I was thankful, very thankful to finally reach Dex's.

This was going to be fun. I could just tell. Can't you?

Part Two coming to a holo tranmitter near you very soon.

Yeah, I'm Thrilled

2006-09-05T00:20:00.000-04:00

I'm so going to get me a Hutt name Jaba. He made me a prize in his contest. Which was fine till the winner was announced. EEKKK! The overbearing, annoying, loud breathing, give me my picture or I'll pop your head, Darth Vader!

Leave it to a picture of Count Dooku to ruin a good mood.

Can you tell I'm stressing here?

I was thrilled that Jaba thought I was good prize, but then again he thought Anakin was too. Is that a bad thing? *snerks*

I won't get me started about Anakin. He has done nothing but tease me about this. He got me so mad I wanted to smash his *beep*ing face in!

I tried everything to get out of this date. I commed Jaba and told him there was no way I could go. Jedi don't date, I told him. It didn't work. So, I tried to tell him what a nut job Darth was. That didn't work. Then I told him I would take my "LMAO" and shove it up his Hutt nose! *shakes head* That didn't work because he liked that idea too much.

Almost had him when I told him I had pictures of him he did not want on the HoloNet. "Depends on whata ya got," he says. I showed him. What do I get? He snorts! "That don’t bother me none."

I'm out of options... unless I lock myself in the Jedi Temple and never come out.

I mean really, who would want to go on a date with a half machine that drives a mopad?

*sigh* Ok, I give. Comm me, Darth, so we can pick a date. Maybe twenty years after you're dead?

How I Got The Name 'Dark Jedi Kriss'

2006-09-01T15:58:00.000-04:00

A few people have inquired of me as to how I came to get my name. It started as joke because as a youngling I had different ideas about certain things.

When we making our first lightsabers in class, I really didn't like any of the colored power crystals were had as Jedi to chose from. Green, blue, purple, maybe, if you were lucky yellow. I built mine but left the crystal out. I did however use a blue one to test it, to make sure it worked. It did.

But what to do about the power crystal, I wondered. I remember I sat there staring at it and thinking... I like red. But see, red sabers are trademark of the Sith and not something a Jedi uses.

I don't think we should be defined like that. It is only a color.

I hunted around where the Master's kept the stones, searching for a red crystal. Not a single one was could be found.

Anakin walked in on me while I was digging around, snuck right up on me and scared me to death. I wasn't supposed to be in here and he thought it would be cute to scare me. He wouldn't have been able to do that if I had not been so distracted. I nearly ripped his Padawan braid off his head.

"What are you doing?" he asked me and I told him. "Are you nuts?"

"No, I'm not," I replied. "I thought you of all people would support this."

"I do but why would you want to do this?"

I smiled. "Why not?"

"Well, you're not going to find one in here," Anakin said, with a sly look.

That got my attention. I stared at him. "Do you know where one is?"

Have you ever seen that look Anakin gets when he is about to do something naughty?

"Yeah, I do," he starts to say. "We could both get into a lot of trouble."

Have you ever seen the look I get when I'm about to do something naughty? *naughty grin*

"So what? Won't be the first or the last time," I shot back.

He crossed his arms. "It's where the stone is that make you change your mind."

"I doubt it," I said.

That sly look gets slyer. "It would be funny to see Master Yoda's face when you show him." A pause. "Okay, come on, I'll show you."

So off we went, sneaking through the Temple till we came to Master Obi-Wan's quarters. Anakin opens the door and waves me in after making sure Obi-Wan wasn't inside. He goes over to a footlocker and start rummaging around inside it.

With gusto, he pulls out two-charred pieces of a double lightsaber. "This was Darth Maul's. Remember him?" Unscrewing one the pieces, Anakin let a red crystal drop in his hand. "Tada!"

He tossed to me and slipped in to my saber and ignited it. Perfect and so me.

"You're still going to be toast, D.J. You did NOT get that from me," he said.

I gave him a confused look. "What did you just call me?"

"Dark Jedi. D.J. It suits you, I think."

That's how it started. After the ruckus I caused in class the next day when we presented our sabers to Master Yoda, the name stuck. Barriss added the 'K' later; at least I think it was her.

Anyway, I walked up to Yoda and handed him my saber. He looked it over, nodding. "Well done it is. Balance good, weight perfect." Then he flips the switch.

Everyone the room stepped back. It was hilarious, with all the ooohs and aaahs. I could sense Anakin trying ever so hard not to laugh. So was I.

Yoda nearly dropped my saber he was so shocked. Not easy to shock Yoda. "Get this where did you?"

"I found it."

He eyed me with that expression. "Your idea of a joke this is, Padawan Kriss?"

"No, Master. It is the color I chose," I told him. Well, it was!

"Have this you can not!" And off he went on the lecture on why. On and on and on, getting more and more irritated as he went. "Make anther you will! See this again I do not!"

I still have it and I use it too. Not when a Master is around, gets them very upset. As you can see from my picture I carry a blue one as well. As far as I know, Obi-Wan never noticed the missing crystal. Even to this day.

Like I said the name stuck, even more after I started my training as field photographer and later as I became press photographer for the Jedi Order.

Mostly because of things like this:

Anakin posed for this right after he was denied Mastership again. Poor Ani.

A Disturbing Holo And Itching Powder

2006-08-25T01:47:00.000-04:00

ECK! Someone shoot me with a blaster!

Darth Vader contacted me by holo last night. It distressed me out so bad I spent the whole night locked in my room eating Obi-Wan's Cheetos.

"I want that picture, Jedi," Darth begins.

"I told you, I don't have it!" I told him. "And stop calling me, it's getting annoying!"

"I will NOT!" A chair goes flying.

About that time Skywalker walked in. "What the- " he muttered. "Hey, that's the jerk from therapy!"

"He wants a picture from me."

Anakin looked pained. "Not one of me, I hope."

I rolled my eyes. "Not everyone in the galaxy is looking for pictures of you, you know!" I pulled out the picture in question and showed him.

"That looks like Mr. Snuggles!" Anakin said.

"You do STILL have it! Give to me!" Darth shouts.

Oops, forgot he was watching.

"Not the one you want." I hid the picture behind me.

Darth tries to grab my throat through the holo. "Dude! That doesn't work that way!" Anakin told him.

"Mind your business, Skywalker! You will give that picture to me, Jedi, or I'll- "

"Pop my head. Yes, I know." I finished for him.

Darth starts muttering. "Unbelievable! Women!"

"He has a point on that," Anakin tossed in. I slapped the back his of head. "Watch the hair! I just had it feathered!"

And he wonders why people go on and on about his hair?

Darth crosses his arms, his foot tapping. He growls, then says, "If it's hair you're worried about, Skywalker, you should be scared."

Anakin eyed him. "Why, you missing yours?"

I shut the holo off before it got ugly.

Anakin smirks. "I think someone likes you."

"Shut up!"

Anakin goes on. "Isn't that sweet?"

I shoved him back toward the door.

"All he needs is a hug, Kriss. Give him a hug!"

I shut the door in his face.

"He just needs a little love!" Anakin shouts through the door, laughing.

I got a whole bag of itching powder with his name all over it.

He won't be laughing in the morning.

Where are those Cheetos? Ah, here they are.

Taggged By A Clone

2006-08-20T13:35:00.000-04:00

Hum this should easy, I think.

1. Grab the nearest book.

*Looks around grabs nearest book.* Mace Windu's best seller "Big Pimpin".

2. Open the book to page 123.

*Flip. flip* Chapter called "Dress for Success"

3. Find the fifth sentence.

Ok, got it.

4. Post the text of it and the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.

"The clothes are key.
Fancy suits, and bling bling.
You can never have to many gold chains.
You have to look cool to rule."

5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.

I was going to reach for "Places A Jedi Never Goes Without Backup".

6. Tag three people. Heeheheee *evil grin*

I will tag, Barriss, Phobia, and Jabba.

Private entry

2006-08-14T14:35:00.000-04:00

HoloBlog User's Password Overwritten.

I read Anakin's report. For once, that is actually how things happened. Give or take a little.

The real WHY Dooku kidnapped me was omitted.

I had pictures, taken by request, of a certain Jedi and his wife, on their wedding day, pictures that can't get out to the public. I swore they never would, and I've kept that promise.

I say 'had' because I gave them to the person who can protect them better that I can.

Dooku grilled me relentlessly for information and wanted those pictures badly. I told him nothing other than he was crazy and that rumor was untrue. I have loose tooth over that and a nice bruise on my face.

Someone better never say I don't care or he'll have a loose tooth.

Barriss is acting strange too. I need to talk to her when we gat back to the Temple. Something odd is going on with her.

On a closing note, Ani wasn't too happy about me getting Commander Cody to stick the P'weck in his room yesterday. He knocked on my door and just walked in. Didn't say a word, just handed me the bird and left.

He was shirtless.

He has to stop doing that.

*smirk*

I did keep one picture, only because my Ewok Tee decided to be a ham.

Girls Night Out Part Two

2006-08-10T01:31:00.000-04:00

We walked into a nightclub and had to blink because the lights were flashing. I had been here before. Anakin had snuck a bunch of us Padawan's out the Temple for his birthday one year. We parted till we dropped, so wasted I don't know how we made it back. So I thought, this was place to show Tak a good time.

We order a few drinks, take a seat. It didn't take long for the men to start hitting on us. Drunken men like to hit on female Jedi, don't ask me why. They just do. And a female storm trooper adds to the pot, if you get me.

This one guy comes up to Tak and I swear he looks like someone I know. In fact, I'm pretty sure I know who it was. Anyway, he starts hitting our Tak like his life depending on her liking him. You name it this guy tries it, drinks, flattery, the works. All the time with a hood hiding his face.

"So what do I if this guy is butt ugly like a Hutt and asks me back to his place?" Tak asks leans over and asks me.

Trade secret. Men listen up. "This why ladies go out together in two or a pack. If there are two, like you and me, you tell the guy you're with your girlfriend and it's her birthday and you just can't leave," I whisper back.

Tak eyes go wide. "OH! So that's why I keep hearing that."

"It works." I thought for a second. "Girls tell you that? You lie!"

Tak nodded. "They do. We should have picked up Henchwomyn and Headmistress Xavier. I have a feeling your tips will come in handy later." Then she turns back to Mr. Sweettalk.

Meantime while they are chatting it up, I hear it, the asthmatic breathing. I whip around on my stool and there he is. Again.

"Are you following me?" I ask.

"You gave me the wrong picture negative, Jedi," Darth Vader says.

It's funny how I can't hold my liquor. One drink and I'm loopy. So loopy I started to poke the buttons on his suit. "I did too! What does this red one do?" I reached for it and he caught my arm.

"It turns off my air conditioning. You gave me a picture of the riddle monkey and some blond."

Tak looks over her shoulder and jumps to her feet. "Lord Vader!"

Darth turns that big head of his and looks at Tak. I was wondering what his expression was under there, so I tried to peek under it. Of course, I couldn't see anything, so stuck my finger under the rim.

Darth slaps my arm like fly. "Do that again, woman and I'll pop your head!" He swings to Tak. "As you for you, I'm going to pretend I didn't see you. I'm might be sick otherwise. Cover your stomach if you can't advertise for the Empire instead of that silly tattoo!"

I lost it. I couldn't help it. I fell over laughing.

Darth turns back to me. "You're wasted!"

"I am not. I've only had one drink!" I raised my glass. "I haven't finished it yet, either!"

"Disgraceful!" he spat.

I poke him again, right in the gut. (Brave aren't I?) "You know, buster, you really need to stop acting like some one sat in your Imperial Cornflakes all the time!"

"My Imperial what?"

"Imperial Cornflakes! The Cereal! By the Force, what rock have you been under?"

Darth points to his helmet. I lost it again. I could hear Tak and her new friend laughing along with me. It was about then that our mystery man's face flashed for a brief second. I really lost it then, I covered my mouth and let it go, nearly coming off the chair.

Darth seen it too. "Sith Spawn! Is that Obi-Wa- "

I slapped my hand over Darth's mouthpiece. "You mentioned a picture?" I smiled, hoping it would distract him. It worked.

"Uh, yes. You know which one. Get to me or I'll pop your head!" he mutters under my hand.

He says that lot. I moved my hand. "You need a drink. Here," I shoved my Sith Slammer in his very large hand. Then motioned him to hold on a second and grabbed a straw. "Here, this should help."

He doesn't move. I gave him an encouraging smile. He slowly moves the drink close to his face and slips the straw in the openings. The sound slurping starts, really loud slurping. Slurrrppppp!

I patted his hand. "You just enjoy that. It's my friend's birthday today and we have to go!" I grabbed Tak and pulled her off the stool, leaving Darth standing there with straw hanging off his face.

Mr. Sweettalk jumps in front of us before we hit the door. He waves his hand in my face. "You never seen me."

"Doesn't work on me. Helooooo, Jedi!" I said as he took off but not without handing Tak his comm number first.

I seen him alright and got a shot of him sidestepping away and Tak waving.

Uh-huh, we know, don't we, who that is!

Girls Night Out Part One

2006-08-08T02:47:00.000-04:00

After Tak's astounding transformation and trying to give him- uh, her some female advice on what not to wear, I decided to drag Tak out for a night on the town. Jedi Girl Style. Ok, don't freak out. I fended off all the men. Tak didn't wake up with some nerf header in a seedy hotel in the lower levels of the city.

I made my way to his quarters, which had about 24 clone troopers crowding the hallway. I could hear the whispers about the hot female trooper and things I won't even repeat. Then I heard them about myself. I think my hinny got slapped at least 9 times down that hallway.

Halfway down it, I froze. Charging down the other end was Darth Vader in all his tall, asthmatic glory. I stood out like a sore thumb. A Jedi with red hair in the middle of a swarm of deprived clone troopers... yeah I stood out.

He stops and stares at me, crossing his arms. 24 white helmet heads look at me and then at Darth. I put my arm behind me and try to look innocent. (I'm good at that.) too bad Jedi mind tricks don't work on a Sith. I wanted to disappear in to the wall.

"All of you to your stations NOW!" he barked and they scattered like mice. Being scared to death of Darth didn't stop them from slapping my hinny some more as they trampled by. When the hall was clear he stepped closer, too close for me. I thought, here we go again with the Scary Sith thing again.

"I'm waiting," Darth said.

"I don't have it," I answered.

"Yes, you do."

"I don't. I forgot it," I said.

His foot started to tap on the floor. I sighed. "All right all ready! Here!" I handed him the infamous Mr. Snuggles teddy picture negative. "Happy now? Well, you stop sending me holos telling me you're going to pop my head off?"

"No," he answered, snatching the holo and spinning his heel. He started to round the corner and he paused, looking back at me. "You look very pretty today." And then he was gone.

I did a double take. What he say? *shiver* By the Force, someone tell me I heard wrong! ECK! Double ECK!

Now I really need a drink at this point so I knock on Tak door. I wanted to get him- her and get the heck off this ship. Far, far, away. (Aren't I 'Pun'ny'?)

A very sweet voice tells me to enter and I do.

"What are you doing?" I cried.

"Giving my midriff a fake tattoo. See?" Tak answers, turning around.

By the Force, Tak is a red head! Earlier it was dark brown. The hair and the cleverly placed tattoo was surprising. My mouth fell open.

"What?" She patted her hair. "You don't like?"

I nodded. "I like it, just wasn't expecting it, that's all." I looked over her outfit. "I thought you weren't going to wear that."

"I changed my mind. Girls do that don't they?"

*sigh* Yeah we do that.

After 45 minutes of girly stuff, I got Tak out the door and down to my shuttle but not before a few of the guys stopped us a picture.

Tak took to being a chick really fast. Too fast if you ask me.

Part Two coming soon.

HA

2006-08-04T23:05:00.000-04:00

Hey I think I got Skywalker's and he got mine. LMAO!

Your Theme Song is Back in Black by AC/DC

"Back in black, I hit the sack,
I've been too long, I'm glad to be back"

Things sometimes get really crazy for you, and sometimes you have to get away from all the chaos.
But each time you stage your comeback, it's even better than the last!

What's Your Theme Song?

Tee the Ewok, Gar-Gar, and Dolly

2006-07-31T00:30:00.000-04:00

I went on a search for my Ewok, Tee, this morning. He usually comes out and explores when Anakin isn't here at the Temple. He is scared to death of him. Not that that should matter, the Temple is so big he could easy not run into Ani, but you know Ewoks, better safe than sorry. I couldn't find him anywhere and I hoped he wasn't messing where he shouldn't be messing.

But of course he was. And he had help.

Master Yoda hobbles up to me in the one of the massive hallways and stops in front of me.

"In my closet your Ewok and that cat are. Get them out you must," he says.

"Yes, Master," I muttered. "I'll go get them."

Besides I always wanted to see inside Yoda's closet. Rumor is that in the back of there's a secret door that leads to Dolly Parton's house. He won't verify that, of course but Obi-Wan swears it's true.

I left Yoda and went right to his quarters. I was floored by all the Dolly holoposters and the huge doll of her by his bed. Life-sized, if you get me. Unable to help myself, I just stood there, gaping.

"Tell one you will not about what you see," Yoda said, sneaking up on me. "If a picture you take, the pressure washer you get."

Ouch!

So I went started dig around the closet when he left. No Ewok, no cat. Then I see it. A small, and I do mean small, door at the back on the bottom, opened a crack. Just big enough for me to squeeze through if I take off my belt, tabards, and tunic.

Stop that, I still had on an undershirt. Gutter minds.

Sure enough it was the secret door to infamous Dolly Parton's house. 80% of the Temple would die to know this was true. And here I was slipping through a small door in her house.

Right into a pair of western boots. I looked up, half in half out of the door.

"Well, hi! You aren't Yoda, is he ill or something?" Dolly asked me, big lashes flapping.

"No, ma'am. It would seem my Ewok and the Temple cat discovered this door. I think they are in your house," I answered. "This is your house?"

Blank stare. "You said there was a what in here, dear?"

"An Ewok."

More blank of the stare. I pulled myself out the door and stand up.

"Long story, ma'am. Yoda sent me to get them out of his closet but I think they came in here."

Even more blank stare.

"Mind if I look around?" I asked.

"Let her look you must!" A voice calls out behind me. "A mess they will leave if unfound they are!"

"Oh, Yoda! My little green love monster!" Dolly cries and runs over. She picks Yoda up his face and lathers him with kisses. Little green love monster? Geeesssssssss! By the Force! I thought I was going to be sick!

"Of course your little Jedi can look around!" she finally says with a great big, red smile.

Little Jedi? I'm short but not that short! But I say thank you and start looking around. It didn't take long to find them. In the kitchen, helping themselves in the freezer. Quickly, I rounded them up and paraded them back to the small door.

That was when Mrs. Parton begans to scream, pointing at Tee. Tee screams back and runs behind me.

She likes Yoda but an Ewok scares her to death?

Sith Hell broke lose. Tee was screaming, Dolly went up on a chair, and Gar-Gar went up my back and on to my head, hissing at the huge blond woman. Gar-Gar is not a small cat, my friends. I nearly fell over from his weight.

In the end, I got Gar-Gar off me, Tee quite, and Yoda got Dolly down from the chair and sat in her lap. I'm wishing I had never seen that. It's so wrong on so many levels.

Before I left them, which was pretty fast, I did managed to get this picture.

Cute in a odd sort of way.

Meeting Darth Vader

2006-07-18T00:24:00.000-04:00

I had the pleasure of meeting Lord Vader for the first time a few months ago. My presence was requested by the Dark One himself. I was told he wanted a few new publicity shots for his new "Join the Empire or Be Crushed" campaign. *gulp* Imaging my distress and concern here. I am, however, a Jedi Knight. Vader's reputation with Jedi is less than, uh, what's a good word for it? Pleasant. But who am I to say no to the Dark Lord?

I thought about it, though. Actually, I almost flew to Tatooine and hid in a cave with my Ewok, Tee.

I was ushered by Tak, Tk266 to awaiting transport that would take me to Vader's ship. During the short fight I kept eyeing Tak who was standing next to me tapping is foot.

"You told Vader about me, did you?" I asked.

"Yep," he answered.

"It's because of that picture I took of you, the one in *PlayClones*, right?"

"Yep."

I knew that picture would come back to haunt me one day.

Arriving, my first impression of the ship is that it's very large and highly overdone. Talk about over compensating! (If you get me.) Of course, I didn't say this out loud. Tak bade me to follow him down a long hallway. Two massive doors open before us and Tak waves me in.

"Don't forget to duck," Tak muttered as I passed him. Say what? "My lord, here is the Jedi you wanted to se-" he began.

Then I understood what he meant by "duck". Thank the Force I'm fast on my feet! I sidestepped as a large chair came flying our way. It slammed into Tak and sent him flying back down the hallway. I watched Tak get back to his feet, brush off his armor and storm away, muttering something about "that's going to leave a mark and he does that every darn time I walk in."

I turned my attention back to the Dark Lord who was standing on the other side of the room with his arms crossed, staring at me. I guess he was staring. It was hard to tell what was going on behind that creepy black helmet of his.

But it was the breathing that disturbed me the most. Well, disturbed isn't the right word. I wondered if I should offer him a Breathe Right Strip or something.

For the longest time, he said nothing, just stood there. I was beginning to think he fell asleep or turned himself off or something when he finally spoke.

"I usually kill Jedi when I see them," Vader said.

Nice to meet you too, I thought. Now what was I supposed to say to that? Ah, yes.

"I usually kill Sith Lords when I see them," I replied and bowed. (Anakin moment there.)

Vader marched over and stood over me. I'm only 5'4, short for a Jedi, so when I say he stood over I'm not kidding. I had to crane my neck back to look up. I think this was supposed to scare me, but it didn't. I stared him down or rather stared him up as it was.

"You have no fear of me, especially being so short. I like that, Jedi," Vader said.

"I like tall men," I answered and stepped back. "Lord Vader, I sense something familiar about you. Have we met before?"

He laughed. It must have been a long since he laughed because he started snorting like a Bantha choking. Snort, breathe, laugh, snort, breathe. To cover up the snorts, he placed a hand over the front of the mask but it only made it worse. After composing himself, he cleared his throat.

"You could say that but that is unimportant. You are here because I need publicity shots for my new campaign. Do you have a problem with that?"

"Of course not."

Vader went onto explain the he wanted very intimidating shots. Then asked me if bright lights were going to be a problem. I told him I didn't think they would be but why was he asking.

"I'm very...uh, shiny," was his answer.

"Shiny can be very intimidating, Lord Vader."

As I was snapping away with holorecorder camera, I noticed something behind him. It stopped me in my tracks.

A Sith Lord with a stuffed bear? A Mr. Snuggles looking one at that?

He noticed my interest in that bear and I found my view blocked. You know, I tried to get over to the shelf for a better look. I really did, but I never got the chance.

However, as Tak was escorting me back to the transport ship, I made an excuse to run back, thinking maybe Vader would be gone and could get a look.

Instead, I saw this:

I'm telling you that is Mr. Snuggles! Awe, Vader loves his bear! *Falls off chair!*

I Really DO Get My Way

2006-07-14T16:45:00.000-04:00

My Skywalker Stalking skills paid off, with help from Jinx. ;-) We got Skywalker to reslove his problems and go back to bloging! So everything should return to normal. Well, mostly. Most of his blog is gone! *Dork* What Sithly pain in my backside! Quick tempered, over reacting...

Now I have an excuse to embarrss him further...

Remember Mr. Snuggles, Ani? *snerk*

I Always Get My Way

2006-07-13T00:17:00.000-04:00

I had a conversation with Skywalker today. I told him there was just no way he was leaving me missing and he was going to finish the story or have my saber ignited place he might not like.

It's the red hair, you see? I can't help it.

Anywhoo, he had no problem with it. In fact, he had already started on the next part and was going to send it my way when done.

So the next few posts, Skywalker will be posting the rest of the Mission to Find... ME!!!!

*Happy Jedi Dance* Thank the Force you can't see that! How embarrassing!

One question, why do you slap gophers? And what's with that hat???

Note from Skywalker: I have never slapped a gopher! That isn't me! Uh, well, it might be me......Oh, yes, that is me! Never mind! *smerk* No comment on the hat.

A Tale About Qui-Gon

2006-07-06T15:24:00.000-04:00

Jaina asked me for a story about Qui-Gon. So while I'm waiting for Skywalker to save me, (Hurry up all ready!), I figured I tell everyone a story.

We all know Qui-Gon was a great man, but what a lot of people don't know is he had one heck of sense of humor and he loved to party. It was always fun to go his quarters. He was like the crazy uncle you never had, if you get me. He never turned you away.

And he had a endless supply of cookies, ice cream, and brownies.

I had a dream once that I was very cold and looking for something. I mentioned it to him. He smiled at me and told me to sit down.

"What your dream means is simple if you look hard enough at it."

I did but came up with nothing. Qui-Gon patted my hand. "You are cold and looking for something. You know Master Yoda hides the Tatooine Rocky Road ice cream in the freezer in his quarters not in the kitchen freezers."

Now how did he know I had tried to find that?

People honestly have no idea how much he put up with when it came to Obi-Wan. I remember, I was little but I remember. Anakin was a handful, still is. But Obi-Wan, he was different kind of handful.

If you think he is serious and uptight now, back then he was worse and a complete smart ass. He mouthed off a lot, which is why when Anakin does it now I can't help but crack up. Naturally, I do this when he is NOT looking.

Anyway, I can't remember what caused Qui-Gon to snap that day but I remember what he did and said. He grabbed Obi-Wan and slung him over his knee and spanked him! Hard, I might add. Obi-Wan was screaming bloody murder.

Picture it. Qui-Gon with a skinny Obi-Wan over his knee.

After it was over, Obi-Wan screamed, "What ya do that for?"

"You needed it."

"I did not!"

"Yes, you did. Your butt will remember when your head doesn't!"

Wise message. Obi-Wan should have passed that one to Anakin, but I think his backside remembered all to well, too often.

Oh, of course had Obi-wan asked I would have passed the message for him. Oh, did I say that out loud? Uh, whoops.

Like I said, Qui-Gon liked to party. He wasn't a heavy drinker he liked to dance. People think Jedi can't dance. Anakin can, Obi-Wan isn't too bad but Qui-Gon, he had no rhythm. He looked like a convulsing chicken.

I remember Master Yoda hiding his eyes a lot. Especially after everyone started doing what we call the Official Jedi Chicken Dance.

Master Yoda gave me a picture of a Goth party the Temple had once.

I don't know. Qui-Gon looks pretty cool, but Obi-Wan just scares me.

This Just In...

2006-06-27T13:06:00.000-04:00

We interrupt this blog to bring you a yet another special HoloNews bulletin!

This is reporter Wan Gooberman reporting.

*Anakin Skywalker* is on his way with Jedi Forces to Kashyyyk on a lead!

Dark Jedi Kriss' alter ego is reported to have been sick this week with Tummy Flu.

Reports from the Jedi Temple tell us that Master Yoda is so upset he refuses to come out of his quarters!

And simply refuses to change his PJs.

It's tragic!

Jaina I'm ok. I was sick a bit this week. Thanks for checking on me!

Oh...

2006-06-20T03:09:00.000-04:00

Something think about:

Don't ask...

News Report!

2006-06-15T00:49:00.000-04:00

We interrupt this blog to bring you a special HoloNews bulletin!

This is reporter Wan Gooberman reporting.

We have been informed that Anakin Skywalker is on his way to Tatooine to check on a lead about the missing Jedi Kriss. The Counsel is reported to be very upset by her disapearance and we are told it could be Sith related.

Rumors are flying around the city!

Who has snatched the Jedi Knight?

Why?

Is true that Obi-Wan is posing for Jedi Girl Magazine?

Does Anakin Skywalker really have a harem?

What the hell does this photo mean??????

Stay tuned in for more imformation as we get it!

Special Guest Poster: Skywalker

2006-06-12T23:17:00.000-04:00

Update On Kriss.

Finding her isn't going to be easy. Read all about it.

Mission to Find Kriss Part 1

And something completly whacked!
Rouge Wars

Missing

2006-06-10T14:18:00.000-04:00

We interrupt this blog to bring you a special HoloNews bulletin!

This is reporter Wan Gooberman reporting from outside the Jedi Temple. We have just learned that Jedi Knight known as Dark Jedi Kriss is missing!

The female, revered for her talents as a photographer for the Jedi Order was last seen outside the Senate offices late yesterday, taking pictures of Supreme Chancellor Palpatine's thank you speech for his nomination for shortest old dude in office.

The last person to see Jedi Kriss before she disappeared was Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Wan Gooberman is lucky to have Master Obi-Wan with us for a exclusive interview.

Gooberman: Tell us, Master Obi-Wan, are there any leads or clues to who snatched Jedi Kriss?

Obi-Wan, rubbing his chin: No.

Gooberman: It has come to our attention that Jedi Kriss was very sneaky with her camera. Is it possible she was witness to something that might have put her in danger?

Obi-Wan: It is possible.

Gooberman: Is also possible that Anakin Skywalker, as joke, kidnapped Jedi Kriss?

Obi-Wan, looking annoyed: Hardly. He was with the Chancellor at the time, (Mutters) again. Besides they are friends, it would be a joke of very poor taste on his part.

Gooberman: Any enemies?

Obi-Wan: Anakin? Of course! Plenty.

Gooberman: No, Jedi Kriss.

Obi-Wan: Oh! Uh, not that I know of.

Gooberman: Is there anything you could tells that might aid in the search?

Obi-Wan: Only, that she was last seen walking to her speeder outside the Senate.

Gooberman: Was the speeder found?

Obi-Wan: Yes.

Gooberman: And?

Obi-Wan: And what?

Gooberman rolls his eyes: No clues?

Obi-Wan: No.

Gooberman: Well. Thank you, Master Obi-Wan you have been most helpful.

Now, we are going to speak to Anakin Skywalker, who just came out of the Senate offices. Runs over to Anakin, shoving his mike in Anakin's face.

Gooberman: Excuse me, Anakin. Could you please speak to us about the disappearance of Jedi Kriss?

Anakin: If I have too.

Gooberman: Do you have any ideas at to what might have happened?

Anakin: Tusken riders.

Gooberman: Did you say Tusken raiders?

Anakin: Anyone that disappears, it's usually a Tusken involved.

Gooberman, looking confused: On Coruscant?

Anakin: Why not?

Gooberman: Well, there you have it, ladies and gentleman. If you have any information please contact the Jedi Temple or the HoloNews offices!

You Asked For It!

2006-06-08T02:49:00.000-04:00

Anakin has forced my hand. He asked for it after what he did to me yesterday! You can read about it [here].

Covered in poodoo and mud, and everyone seeing it was not funny.

But this is.

You want to see Anakin in his Spiderman underwear?

Well, here you go!

Dang, I'm still mad at him but I can still drool. Sigh.

Go tell him what you think about his boxers! LMAO!

Special Guest Poster: Tak: A Army of (Cl)one.

2006-06-05T23:27:00.000-04:00

"Trooper TK 266, Get over here." the duty officer barks.

I head over to his desk

"Seems you got friends in high place trooper."

I look a little confused.

"Anakin Skywalker requested that you come by the temple and help out with an issues he is having. His exact words were "Yo Dawg, can you send over Trooper Earl. I need him fizzle quick to help me out. I likes his style." Do you know how long it took us to figure out who the hell Earl was? If I get reports of you giving out a name instead of you ID number again, I'll have you written up faster than you can say Sith Spit. Am I Clear??!!"

"Yes, Sir. I'll go see Skywalker now."

"You are not reporting to Skywalker. You need to report to DJ Kriss or Darkly Kriss. Just ask for the photographer, TK 266."

As I head out to the Jedi Temple, I stew over the thought of how much Skywalker annoys me.

An hour later finds me in the Temple reception are waiting for Jedi Kriss. The musak is playing "The Girl From Iktotchon." daa d da daa, daa d da daa. Dang that song can get stuck in you head pretty fast.

A Jedi approaches. She has a camera around her neck.

"Hi. Are you the trooper I supposed to take pictures of today? I not sure why Ani insisted I do a publicity photo shoot for the G.A.R. I was hoping to get some action shot of him guarding Senator Amidala today. Oh well, come with me and I'll see what I can do to make you and that armor look good." she says in one breath.

I follow her, my annoyance with Skywalker growing by the minute.

We find a quite part of the temple and Jedi Kriss tells me to just pose for a bit so she can get some shots.

"A little menacing don't you think. I think we are supposed to be making the general public fell less afraid of you freaks. Let try something else," she says.

Did she just call me a freak?

Nope didn't like that pose either.

"Your gun looks a little small, Why don't we take a break?" she tells me.

I head off the bathroom. While in there I hear the sound of the door and a click.

"KRISS!!!!!"

I come out of the bathroom and glare at Kriss. "Give me that photo now."

"Not so fast there Trooper. I am losing a whole day of getting Anakin shots. So I need something to help pass the time. I'll give you this photo, but I need some from you for my personal collection."

"I don't think so."

"OK , I guess this can become the next recruiting poster the hit the HoloNet. I can see the caption now. "TK 266, GAR Trooper: Getting to PooDoo the Universe"

"You wouldn't!"

"Oh yes, I would."

I think about it for a minute. "Okay."

How bad could it be?

Again, I am reminded why I should never trust a Jedi.

Note: DarkJediKriss didn't make these pictures.

A Funny Prank

2006-06-03T02:55:00.000-04:00

A few years ago, someone played a prank on Master Obi-Wan that was so funny I have to share.

The story goes like this:

Obi-Wan had to leave the Temple or some reason or other. He rushes down the hanger bay. His speeder isn't parked where it usually it. I was told that after a short search, he found it in the back of the hanger, covered by a tarp.

He whips off the tarp...

Someone had painted the speeder pink with green flowers.

Obi-Wan was fit to be tied when he saw it. He refused to leave in it, demanded another readied for his use. But there weren't any others available at the time.

He was stuck with it.

A Coruscant traffic lane camera took the following picture.

Hideous, isn't it?

Why and who has never been discovered.

I think we know, don't you?

How It All Began: Part Three

2006-05-31T13:05:00.000-04:00

Ani started his lessons a few days later. First on the curriculum was lightsaber training. He was really excited about this, itching to get his own training saber and use it. He was in my class and for the first time since he arrived, he was dead serious.

We were both very tired, washing all those dishes twice takes a long time, so it was always late when we finally got to go to bed. Ani yawned and yawned during Master Windu's three-hour lecture on saber safely.

Bla, bla, bla... On and on Master Windu goes. I swear he never shuts up once he gets going.

Finally, we got split into pairs. I got Ani, which I was thrilled about. Our lesson was simple; one of the pair would swing our blade, the other block, taking turns. Easy enough, you would think. First off, I stood back a good 4 feet from Ani because I knew he was going ignite his blade in my face again. Sure enough, it came to life close enough to burn my nose hair. He started laughing and I knew he done on purpose. I told him to "Bite me!".

Never tell Ani to do that, he'll do it every time. Ani bites like a greedy Hutt snatching credits. OUCH!

We began. I went first, swinging, he blocked. He swung, too hard, and I blocked. Back and forth without a problem. After a while, he did all the swinging and I ended backing up to the wall because he was coming at me so fast. But I managed to reverse it on him and back him up.

Our blades locked, and we tried to push each other with them. My arms got really tired. So I sidestepped and cut off my saber. Ani went flying forward into the wall. He smacked the wall hard, face first and landed on his backside, dropping his lit saber.

Training sabers are supposed to cut off. This one didn't, however. The carpet caught on fire, and spread amazingly fast. What a mess! The sprinklers came on, and we all made a mad dash for the doors. I slipped and ended up sliding out of the room on my tush!

Master Windu wasn't amused. I thought we were done for. It was an accident, really. I didn't mean to send him into the wall and drop his weapon. And I don't think he meant to set the floor on fire. Even if Ani did think it was pretty darn funny.

And it was. I can still see his face smack the wall. Still makes me giggle.

Thank the stars; Master Windu understood it was an accident. We were sent to change clothes and go to our next class.

The next day, the Master's had all the carpets removed from the Training Rooms.

Later that day, I ran into Ani in the Temple Archives. Literally. He was coming around a shelf and we collided. Holobooks went everywhere.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm hiding from Obi-Wan," he said, looking around.

"Because of the fire?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"I was in his room; he almost caught me in there. I found this." Ani reaches in to his backpack and pulls out a picture.

Ani leans over and whispers. "He still has it!" Out pops this white, tattered thing from his pack.

I thought I would die laughing. I knew Obi-Wan was strange but this was too much. I had tears, and Ani had to slap a hand over my mouth to muffle my laughter.

It was this picture that planted in me the urge to take up photography. I wanted to catch moments like this myself.

So you see, it's Ani's fault, his and Obi-Wan with his teddy bear, Pookie. Yes, Pookie!

This picture was taken by Master Qui-Gon Jinn. Stars, I miss that man, he had such a sense of humor!

Note: Ani owns a bear called Mr Snuggles. I think he got it from from Obi-Wan. He won't confirm that, but it seems like the logical place to me. As far as I know, Pookie the bear came from Qui-Gon. See the pattern here? :-P

How It All Began: Part Two

2006-05-29T01:58:00.000-04:00

Before I start part two, I must make a public notice of the Anakin Skywalker replying to my blog. He says I'm ruining his reputation and that he doesn't wear Ewok boxer shorts. Friends for years and now I'm ruining his rep? Where's the love, I ask you? I'm not ruining his rep and he DOES wear Ewok boxers! Do I have to prove that? Oh, yea, he says he's planning revenge. Nice, dude! My feelings are hurt.

Now on to the story. Continued from where Part One ends.

Master Obi-Wan was waiting for us the Dining Hall. Apparently, he'd been waiting for some time. And he did not look too happy. We looked up at him with amused expressions. He had orange Cheeto dust on his chin. I knew Ani was about to point that out. I tried to stop him, but I wasn't fast enough.

"Uh, Master, you have something on your chin," he said. "Something orange." Oh no, here it comes, I thought.

"I do not," Obi-Wan replied.

"But, I see it!" Ani pointed to a large chunk of orange. "Right there!"

"Anakin, you must never point out things like that to your Master. It's disrespectful!"

Ani's mouth fell open. "But what if it's a booger?"

"ANAKIN!"

"Sorry, Master," Ani said, rolling his eyes at me.

Good thing Obi-Wan didn't see him do that. That would've been a completely different kind of lecture. I saw this conversation as the start of a beautiful friendship between Master and apprentice. (Note the sarcasm)

"Captain Tightie Whities," Ani whispered to me as we followed Obi-Wan in the hall.

Stars, that was too funny! I almost peed my pants! It got funnier. As we passed Master Yoda, he told Obi-Wan to wipe his chin! And he did, without a word!

*Snort*

At dinner, Ani joined me and a few of my friends. Obi-Wan watched him like mother bird, but every time he looked away, Ani flicked a pea at me. I shot one right back. It started gradually. Peas across the table, then a glob of potato, and so on. When Ani jumped up and whipped a piece of pie at my head, it was on!

Have you ever seen a 150 younglings and Padawans food fight using the Force? It's a bloody mess! But, man, is it fun!

Everyone got in on it. Food went everywhere, on everything! Some of the Master's jumped from their seats, trying to get out of the way, others tried to stop us, but it was all in vain.
It didn't last too long. Master Yoda jumped on the table, raised his hand and all the food froze in the air.

Thing is, Yoda's trick didn't stop Ani's other piece of pie. It went flying... right into Master Yoda's face! Everyone got extra lightsaber practice for a week. As for Anakin and me, we got kitchen detail for two weeks!

"Wash every dish you will, twice!" That's a lot of dishes, I tell you!

Not a good way to start off your career as Jedi Knight, if you ask me.

End of part two.

See that look? He was looking at me, right before the pie.

How It All Began: Part One

2006-05-26T00:00:00.000-04:00

I get asked a lot, how did you met Anakin and how did you become friends, how and why do you stalk him? It's really a funny story. So I'll tell you. Grab some popcorn and a space Pepsi and enjoy.

When I met Anakin Skywalker, he was nine. I was the same age. Just arrived at the Temple to start his training, he looked like a fish out of water. But he was cute and that got my attention. Master Obi-Wan requested that I show him around and help him get settled in, seeing how I had nothing else to do.

"Take your time," Obi-Wan told me in a low voice. "I have to meet with the Counsel. Keep an eye on him for me, Kriss."

We watched Obi-Wan walk away and then Ani turns to look at me and says, "Is he always so up-tight like a Bantha's backside?"

Not what I was expecting him to say. But I managed to nod. "Always. All of the Masters are like that."

Ani crossed his arms. "Oh, this is going to be fun then."

"If you think he's up tight, wait till you have a one on one with Master Yoda," I told him.

A twinkle came his eyes. "The green riddle monkey? Too late."

I completely lost it then. I doubled up laughing, with tears, covering my mouth. There is just something about a cute smart a$$ I like. I knew it right then, that we were going to be very good friends. He did too, I think, because he smiled.

"Call me Ani," he says, shaking my hand.

You see, he spoke normal back then.

With a bit of effort, I got myself under control again. "How much of the Temple have you seen?"

"The front doors, one hallway, a turbolift, and another hallway, the Counsel Chambers," Ani answers. "And here. Uh, where are we anyway?"

"The Great Hall."

"Why is everyone whispering?" he asked.

I waved my hand. "Because the hall is large, if you don't it echoes."

"Oh, really now?" Ani replied. "WHOOOOHOOOOOO!"

The echo of it reverberated around the room bouncing of the walls like a thunderous boom. It got the looks of everyone in the hall. No one had the nerve to yell in here, but always wanted too. Myself included.

"Sweet!" Ani said. "We could have a seriously cool game of Marko Polo in here!"

I grabbed his arm and made tracks out of there before one of Masters got a hold of us. I was giggling so hard my feet didn't want to work right. I pulled him out in to the nearest hallway, almost falling over.

"Another hallway!" he muttered. "Okay, where is the exciting stuff around here?"

So began I the grand tour, classrooms, and training rooms, the hanger bay. Ani didn't care too much for the classrooms, but the training rooms, he was very interested in those. There was a gleam in his eyes as he watched Padawans practice.

"Can I see your lightsaber?" he asked.

"Sure," I replied and handed to him. He tilted to his right, in my direction, his thumb over the switch. I should have sensed it, but I didn't. The next thing I see is the flash of blue as the blade came to life. Right in my face! I nearly jumped out of my skin. White spots danced in front of my eyes but I managed to push his hand and the hilt away.

"Opps, sorry! You have a lose switch on this thing."

I knew that. At that age, I dropped the saber a lot, usually on my feet. That was why the switch was lose. I'm really lucky, even with the power turned down, that I still had toes. I didn't want to look like a dork so I declined mentioning that.

"You almost took off my eyebrows," I said calmly. "You're supposed to ignite your blade away from people's faces."

He looked thoughtful for a moment, and handed it back to me. "Yeah, well, that's a good idea."

I continued the tour.

Above the hanger bay we found observation window. Ani climbs up on the ledge so he could look at all the ships docked. He was kind of short for a boy and it wasn't easy for him to get up there. But he did, and somehow, without falling off, pulled up me there with him.

There was a loud rustle when I sat down.

"What was that?" he asked.

I reached in my robes. "I sat on my cookies. Want some?"

"Sure. The Master's actually let you have cookies?"

I handed over the bag of chocolate chip cookies. "Let us? We have a storeroom filled with cookies! Jedi Knights love cookies."

"Cookies," he says.

"Yeah. Obi-Wan didn't tell you about that?"

"Uh, no."

I smiled. "Ask him about peanut butter cookies sometime. Oh, and Qui-Gon's brownies. Yum."

Ani stuffed two in his mouth. "These are pretty good," he declares. More of a mumble, but I understood. Let me tell you, those cookies are good. The best you'll ever eat. If you get a Jedi to share, that is.

"Master's don't want a bunch of younglings hyped up on sugar, so the cookies are made with a sugar substitute. You'd never know unless someone told you and I just did, so now you know."

Dayum that sounded dumb! Ani must have thought it was pretty funny cause I received a shower of cookie crumbs when he giggled. Still, to this every day, never make him laugh with cookies in his mouth. You will wear the results.

For hours we sat, talking. I learned about his mother, pod racing, the battle of Naboo. Ani is quite the storyteller. I think he might have embellished some of it, but I never bothered to find out.

"You're pretty wizard for a girl," he finally tells me.

"Thanks, I think."

"Want to hear a secret?"

Of course, I did. So I nodded and he leaned over real close.

"I have a girlfriend."

Say what? My eyes bulging, I poked his arm. "Fibber! You do not!"

"I do. Well, sort of. I like her, a lot, and I think she likes me too." A smile. "She's fourteen."

I almost choked. "You like older women?"

"I like this one. I'm going to marry her someday." Yeah, right, I thought. We all know how that turned out. Lucky girl.

Ani was drooling. Okay, not literally drooling. That would have be very gross with a mouthful of cookies. But you could just tell the idea was appealing to him.

It was starting to get dark outside and cookies are poor substitute for a hot meal. We left the hanger and wandered back to the Great Hall. It was almost dinner time.

End of part one...

This picture was took that first day. Isn't he funny?

*Note to reader from Anakin* Yo, s'up? Ani here. I never spewed no mauled up cookies on Kriss. Dat's just rude! And furthermore, I do not spew if you make me laugh either! Why you gots to diss me like dat, woman, showing dat pic?! Dayum! BTW, I'm stil going to get you for that previous post an spit!

Anger Managment Class

2006-05-23T13:46:00.000-04:00

I don't have to attend thses classes, but I like to sit in on them once in while just to see what Ani might say or do. He loathes these classes. They really are boring, and not very useful.

Master Windu singled out Ani once again. He does this alot, which is one of the reasons Ani hates them so much.

He wanted Anakin to do a artist rendition of what Ani saw in the mirror when he was angery.

Reluctantly, Anakin did. He called his art work Annoyance (And you could tell he was hightly annoyed at this point.)

"That is what you see?" Mace gasps."You see yourself rolling your eyes?"

Master Windu shakes his head and looks around. He sees me and asks me to a artist rendition of what I see when Anakin is mad.

Oh, why me? I'm not supposed to be in here anyway!

"Come on! Let's see it!" he demands.

Right about at that point, Ani starts to look really mad. Not at me but Mace. (Thank the stars!)

This was too easy.

It takes me about ten mintutes or so.

"Now that's more like it!" Mace says, holding the datapad up to Ani's face.

Ani turned green, greener than Master Yoda, then a unflattering color of red when he saw it.

"KRISS!" he screamed and charged over the desks.

I thought I was dead.

Suddenly, I'm in headlock and being poked. Hard!

"You show that to anyone and I'll beat ya & spit!" he tells me with a whisper.

Ha! That'a what you get, Skywalker, for bruising my ribs!

I'm going to go hide now.

Odd Questions

2006-05-22T01:08:00.000-04:00

It's has been a slow day so I thought I might answer a few questions emailed to me. The names have been omitted to protect the submitters. Enjoy!

Do you have an imaginary friend?
No, he's real.

Can I stalk you?
Sure, why not?

Of all the Jedi, who has got the hottest speeder/starfighter?
Anakin

Oddest Sense Of Humor?
That would be Anakin, too. And me, obviously.

Have you ever had to get a prescription medicine for a bad case of the hiccups?
Not this year.

Ever drop a mouse and say, "Here Kitty, Kitty" to Gar Gar?
HA! No, but Anakin did once. What was a mess, I tell you! He was 11 years old at the time. I thought Master Obi-Wan was going to blow chunks.

Is it true Jedi have a obsession for cookies?
Yes, they do! Never flash a bag of cookies in front of Jedi; you'll cause a riot!

If you found out your Father was a Sith Lord what you do?
Why do you ask, do you know something I should know?

Is true that Obi-Wan is a closet nerd?
If you mean, does he read Popular Science with bifocal glasses on, then yes.

Have you ever used the Force in a unJedi like way?
I admit, I have. I tripped Master Yoda once. He was most displeased. I like to Force Flick Anakin on the head when he's mad and run like hell. Been lucky so far, he hasn't caught me!

Where the hell did the cheese go?
Master Windu ate it, naturally.

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?
Ask Master Yoda, he knows.

Well, there you go. A few of the oddest questions answered.

Tracking Anakin

2006-05-18T10:56:00.000-04:00

Master Yoda sent for me yesterday afternoon, he had a task for me.

"Enjoy this you will," Master Yoda tells me. Find Skywalker. "His turn in the kitchens it is. Whomp Rat casserole he will make us."

Oh, gees, is that what we had last time Ani cooked?

Apparently, after my photo session with Anakin, he disappeared from the Temple. No one, not even Obi-Wan, knew his location. So my skills of stalking- tracking were needed.

I honestly thought he was with a certain Senator, but he wasn't. In fact, she hasn't seen Ani in a few days. That surprised me. We know how Ani is about- Well, you know.

He is too easy to track. I simply followed the trail of corpses- I mean, followed the clues to a seedy disco nightspot in the under belly of the city. To be honest, I wasn't too sure I wanted to go in there.

But I did anyway.

If I ever have to back again, I'll put my lightsaber to my forehead and flip the switch! Oh, the horrors of polyester and platform shoes, and the bright colors that makes you sick!

Why was Ani in here?

I soon found out.

So will you.

All I could do was stare.

(Note: I didn't make this picture. The credits are on it. Where it came from, I have no idea.)

Photo Session With Anakin

2006-05-15T00:11:00.000-04:00

Kriss has died and has become one with the Force. Just kidding, sort of.

My photo session with Anakin was very successful. Ani is a very good model; just another of his many talents.

We tried different looks and poses, and these are his favorite shots. Mine too.

Guys! Cover your eyes!

Ladies! Grab a towel!

Very nice...

Even better...

The jackpot of nummy!

Me thinks the fan club will be very happy.

I know I am.

A New Look

2006-05-12T16:17:00.000-04:00

SHOO, I'm beat. How you like it? Took me four hours and I still don't know if I like it or not. I will do for now, me guess. Got a Padawan working on a differnt one for me. Thanks, Lysandra!

As for what's going on around the Temple. Anakin came to me today and told me wanted to take a few promo shots of him. Of course I said yes, but I had to ask what they were for. "For the club," he tells me. "Cause they want see me and spit."

Awe, isn't Ani the greatest?

But then he tell me he wants to do them shirtless. Stars! I nearly dropped my lit lightsaber on my feet!

Oh yeah, we want to see him alright.

So tonight my dream comes true again. I-Uh-I mean for the first time. Stay posted, you know, I have to post them.

I Have The Proof

2006-05-10T00:49:00.000-04:00

I went digging in my pictures to see if I could find any of Anakin actually smiling. Most people think he is never does. So wrong you are. I swear it's true; he does smile.

But before I show you, I'll let you in on a secret. Ani walks around looking like a brooding Bantha all the time on purpose. He thinks he wouldn't make much of a hero if he smiled. True, Ani has a lot going on, so that makes it easier, but if you catch him just right, he'll flash one.

I took this first one at a Padawan party. What a wild night that was! (No details, sorry! Nope, don't even ask! Heehee)

Did I mention Anakin likes chocolate ice cream? Yum. Me too.

This next one... Well, Ani did Obi-Wan's laundry. Big mistake, as you will see.

Poor Obi-Wan not happy that he had to wear this all day. All his other robes were shredded. (Anakin did that too, same load.) You see how funny Ani thought this was.

I think Obi-Wan looks kinda hot in pink.

Adventures of Moving "Edit"

2006-05-08T12:17:00.000-04:00

I'm done helping my alter ego move her stuff. Thank the stars! What a blasted mess this week has been.

R2-D2, while moving the vacuum cleaner, rolled over their cat's tail. That cat went after R2 and used him for a scratching post! It's funny; both of them sound a lot alike when they screech.

Jar Jar dropped a box of books my toes and sprained one of them. By the Force, it hurt! Have to say, I almost pulled an Anakin on him.

Speaking of Anakin. I think him and Obi-Wan were hitting the sauce before they helped us. Somehow I kept ending up target practice for boxes of clothes. Force push boxes of the clothes across the floor, you’re bound to knock a gal down.

I had shins and backside.

And the horror of a week with no HoloNet! Need I mention the madness of that? And when I get back on, what do I read?

Anakin Skywalker helps a friend move. No one was slaughtered.

Humph! Does bruises and cuts count? Cause, I got those.

My Ewok, Tee, got a hold of my lightsaber. Gosh, I'm sorry about the scorch marks on the walls. He likes to play with it. His purple glowing stick it is.

Still, through the madness, I did catch this:

Like I said, someone hit the sause.

A Small Update

2006-05-01T07:05:00.000-04:00

Shoo! Helping my alter ego move is killing me! Her and her fiance have more junk than Watto! I thought his shop was a mess of crap. HA, I know nothing.

I hurt in places I didn't know I had. As a Jedi Knight, I'm supposed to be saving the Galaxy, not moving people, right?

Anyhoo, she needed more help than just me. You try lifting boxes with the Force for nine hours and you really want some "Man Power".

We ended up with "Gungan Power"

Jar-Jar and his buddies came to help. All I can say is, I hope she likes unpacking broken glass. ECK! What a mess!

And not to mention, her box of Anakin Skywalker action figures... Someone put a computer monitor on top of it. (Can we say, Dark Side Frenzy?)

Not pretty.

Lucky, no action figures were harmed during this random act of stupidness. I can't say the idiot that done it feels to good right now, cause they don't.

To sum up, I may be missing for a few days, but the Skywalker Stalker will return very soon and the madness that is my life will resume. Feel free to email me with requests, leave a comment.

Oh, and while I gone, someone please keep Master Obi-Wan out of my powdered donuts!

Delusions of Grandeur

Getting Away

About Time!

Nasty... Just Plain Nasty

*Rolls Eyes*

EWWWWWW HUTTS!

Tagged By a Clone

Ani...*SCREAMS*

A Dark Alley

Being followed...

100th Post!

The Device

An idea

Vote Time!

Good News

The Tour

Hanging Around

Anakin's Mother

Monday Madness

Monday Madness

On The Way

More About This Blog

Temper, Temper!

One More Lump

My Inter-Monologue Stopped Working

My Luck Sucks

Getting Away

Turning Point

In Defense of Obi-Wan

Crushed

SITHSITHSITH!

Guest Poster: Gar-Gar

Har Har

This Has Got Be A Joke!

A Nasty Way To Wake Up

A Face Revealed

A Quickie

A Flashback...

Hardware Wars

So He Is Human...Mostly

Hmmm...

A Large Mug and a Holo

A Com Call

Blasted Windows And More Questions

Merry Christmas!

Vader's Pet

A Birthday Gift From Vader

An Itch And Blonde Hair

The Answer I DIDN'T want

Starch And Some Answers

Old Friends

Q & A Sort Of

The Aftermath

Purr! I have moved.

Stop calling me Darth!

Hallowen At the Temple

Jedi Musings Of A Cat

OUCH!

My 50th Post, Flashbacks

Purr! Hello!

Anakin's First Halloween Party At The Temple

Too Cute

The Smell of Brownies

Party Crasher

Sneaking To The Party

Date With Darth Part Two

An intermission

My Date With Darth Part One

Yeah, I'm Thrilled

How I Got The Name 'Dark Jedi Kriss'

A Disturbing Holo And Itching Powder

Taggged By A Clone

Private entry

Girls Night Out Part Two

Girls Night Out Part One

HA

Tee the Ewok, Gar-Gar, and Dolly

Meeting Darth Vader

I Really DO Get My Way

I Always Get My Way

Rolls Eyes

Ani...SCREAMS