Delusions of Grandeur

Jaina asked me for a story about Qui-Gon. So while I'm waiting for Skywalker to save me, (Hurry up all ready!), I figured I tell everyone a story.

We all know Qui-Gon was a great man, but what a lot of people don't know is he had one heck of sense of humor and he loved to party. It was always fun to go his quarters. He was like the crazy uncle you never had, if you get me. He never turned you away.

And he had a endless supply of cookies, ice cream, and brownies.

I had a dream once that I was very cold and looking for something. I mentioned it to him. He smiled at me and told me to sit down.

"What your dream means is simple if you look hard enough at it."

I did but came up with nothing. Qui-Gon patted my hand. "You are cold and looking for something. You know Master Yoda hides the Tatooine Rocky Road ice cream in the freezer in his quarters not in the kitchen freezers."

Now how did he know I had tried to find that?

People honestly have no idea how much he put up with when it came to Obi-Wan. I remember, I was little but I remember. Anakin was a handful, still is. But Obi-Wan, he was different kind of handful.

If you think he is serious and uptight now, back then he was worse and a complete smart ass. He mouthed off a lot, which is why when Anakin does it now I can't help but crack up. Naturally, I do this when he is NOT looking.

Anyway, I can't remember what caused Qui-Gon to snap that day but I remember what he did and said. He grabbed Obi-Wan and slung him over his knee and spanked him! Hard, I might add. Obi-Wan was screaming bloody murder.

Picture it. Qui-Gon with a skinny Obi-Wan over his knee.

After it was over, Obi-Wan screamed, "What ya do that for?"

"You needed it."

"I did not!"

"Yes, you did. Your butt will remember when your head doesn't!"

Wise message. Obi-Wan should have passed that one to Anakin, but I think his backside remembered all to well, too often.

Oh, of course had Obi-wan asked I would have passed the message for him. Oh, did I say that out loud? Uh, whoops.

Like I said, Qui-Gon liked to party. He wasn't a heavy drinker he liked to dance. People think Jedi can't dance. Anakin can, Obi-Wan isn't too bad but Qui-Gon, he had no rhythm. He looked like a convulsing chicken.

I remember Master Yoda hiding his eyes a lot. Especially after everyone started doing what we call the Official Jedi Chicken Dance.

Master Yoda gave me a picture of a Goth party the Temple had once.



I don't know. Qui-Gon looks pretty cool, but Obi-Wan just scares me.