Delusions of Grandeur

A few months ago, Master Windu told me I had to teach Becca how to fly. It would seem she ran over his starfighter and his foot somehow. So, I got wrangled in to teaching her how to properly fly a speeder and, or ship. Anakin would be a better choice for this but I agreed anyway. It was this or Palpatine at his summer home. No thanks, I don’t want to see his Speedo again.

I had to chase her down. Not hard, all I had to do was follow the mess she left in her wake. I managed to get in front of her, not smart on my part and she rammed the back of my speeder, nearly knocking me to Hoth. But she stopped.

She came out flashing her insurance and drivers license at me. “I’m sorry, Officer!”

“I’m not an officer, Becca, its me Kriss?” I said, with a smile.

She waved her hands. “Thank God! I think I was drinking this morning! Who are you again?”

I blinked. She knew who I was, that and I did just tell her who I was. “I’m Kriss, Erifia’s friend. I’m supposed to teach you how to fly.”

Her eyes went wide at me. “Erifia’s got friends?” she gasped at me.

“Uh, well, yes, sort of,” I replied.

Then she kinda jumps up all happy. “Oh, hi! I’m Becca the Magnificent. I work for Erifia. I’m her sidekick!”

“I know who you are. We’ve met before, remember?”

“Nope. Oh, hi! I’m Becca the Magnificent. I’m Erifia’s sidekick!”

Defiantly some lose screws in that head. I’m not sure fly should be on her list of things to learn. But I decided to go with it, not much of a choice here. I smiled and shook her hand. “Nice to meet you. Shall we get started?”

“Oh, no, I’m sorry, I like boys,” she pops off at me.

Say what? And I need to know that, why? “Hmm, good to know. Most girls do.”

“I don’t know…”

I could see that clearly. “You want to start the lesson now?”

Becca looked at me so blankly I thought she had fell asleep with her eyes open. Then she jumps again. “Oh, hi, Kriss! Thank for coming. I’m excited to start learning how to fly buffalo!”

Come again? “Fly a what? No. Mace wanted you to learn how to fly a speeder or ship not a buffalo.” I gave her a my best ‘trying not to show you how nuts I think you are’ look.

“But Okie-Doke Kablokey spoke of a Buffalo with wings. I assumed he meant for me to fly it,” she said.

I’m guessing she meant Obi-Wan. “Buffalo wings are small chicken wings, you eat them, not fly them.”

“But the chickens would get hurt…”

Why me? “You can’t eat the alive. Well, you could, but you can’t fly them.”

She giggled. “You can’t eat a spaceship, silly! And yes you can fly them!”

Okkkkkk! This was going to be more work than it was worth. But still it was better than Palps in his Speedo. “So, I’m going to teach you to fly.”

“I don’t know?”

I take that back. Palps in a Speedo might be a better choice…