Delusions of Grandeur

ECK! Someone shoot me with a blaster!

Darth Vader contacted me by holo last night. It distressed me out so bad I spent the whole night locked in my room eating Obi-Wan's Cheetos.

"I want that picture, Jedi," Darth begins.

"I told you, I don't have it!" I told him. "And stop calling me, it's getting annoying!"

"I will NOT!" A chair goes flying.

About that time Skywalker walked in. "What the- " he muttered. "Hey, that's the jerk from therapy!"

"He wants a picture from me."

Anakin looked pained. "Not one of me, I hope."

I rolled my eyes. "Not everyone in the galaxy is looking for pictures of you, you know!" I pulled out the picture in question and showed him.

"That looks like Mr. Snuggles!" Anakin said.

"You do STILL have it! Give to me!" Darth shouts.

Oops, forgot he was watching.

"Not the one you want." I hid the picture behind me.

Darth tries to grab my throat through the holo. "Dude! That doesn't work that way!" Anakin told him.

"Mind your business, Skywalker! You will give that picture to me, Jedi, or I'll- "

"Pop my head. Yes, I know." I finished for him.

Darth starts muttering. "Unbelievable! Women!"

"He has a point on that," Anakin tossed in. I slapped the back his of head. "Watch the hair! I just had it feathered!"

And he wonders why people go on and on about his hair?

Darth crosses his arms, his foot tapping. He growls, then says, "If it's hair you're worried about, Skywalker, you should be scared."

Anakin eyed him. "Why, you missing yours?"

I shut the holo off before it got ugly.

Anakin smirks. "I think someone likes you."

"Shut up!"

Anakin goes on. "Isn't that sweet?"

I shoved him back toward the door.

"All he needs is a hug, Kriss. Give him a hug!"

I shut the door in his face.

"He just needs a little love!" Anakin shouts through the door, laughing.

I got a whole bag of itching powder with his name all over it.

He won't be laughing in the morning.

Where are those Cheetos? Ah, here they are.