Delusions of Grandeur

As much a I dreaded this, I got ready for my... date with Darth. Jaba insisted I get all purrtied up. I refused to wear a dress but I did get a nice pantsuit, so I was a 'purrtied up' as a Jedi Knight can get.

I left my quarters and made my way down to the main hall. When I got down there, there was a ruckus outside the Temple doors. Knights kept running out the doors, a few of them coming back in flying, literally. One flew over my head; I ducked.

"What the- " I started to say then it hits me. "Oh!" I run out the doors and Darth is on the top step fighting off about 20 Jedi Knights. I had told him NOT to come to the doors, and that if he did it would be ugly. I was right.

He was holding them off, tossing them around like toys, quite easily. I was impressed, especially when Anakin went flying by. The Chosen One landed on his booty, and boy, was he mad about that!

It took me all of twenty minutes to stop all the commotion. First, I had to tackle Anakin. *giggles* Then I called off the others. Darth just stands there, saber lit, taunting them in this irratating way.

"Can I plug his respirator with mud?" Anakin muttered.

"After I get back, yes," I told him. "Let me get through this and you can do whatever you like."

"Good to know," Anakin said. "Make sure you give him a hug." At my expression he grinned. "Then slide your saber in his ribs... if you can find them."

I rolled my eyes and walked over to Darth. "Please tell me you didn't come to pick me up on a scooter."

"Hardly," he muttered, and waved his hand behind him. There was a strange looking starfighter hovering on the street.

"What the heck is that?"

"A tie-fighter," he muttered, through breaths. "Get in."

"Well, open the darn cockpit door!" I snapped.

"You got hands, open it yourself, woman!" he snapped back.

After I got into his tie-fighter, I realized that this thing is so small it's not even funny. How does he even fit in here, I wondered. I mean his head takes up most of the space and both us are supposed to fit in here?

The only thing I could do was get on my knees and hold on the back of his seat. Nice, a real ladies man here. Can't even pick up a chick in a decent ride.

When Darth pulled on the throttle, I went flying backwards, rolling over and slamming into the back of the tiny craft. I still don't know how there was room for me to do that, but I did. When I got up, or back to my knees, I slapped the back of his helmet.

"Who taught you to fly?" I spat hotly. He made a sound that sounded like a chuckle. I slapped him again. "Not funny!"

"Stop hitting me, woman!"

I slapped him again. "I have a name and it's not woman!"

"Dark Jedi Krisssssssssss," he said like a snake.

Eek! Didn't like the sound of that at all. "Never mind, just call me woman."

Now in this tiny cockpit, his breathing echoes. Seriously, it does. It started to irritate me, and I began to drum my fingers on the back of his seat. It should have took five minutes to get to Dex's and for some reason he was taking the long way around. The longer it took, the harder I tapped.

"Stop that!" he shouted.

"Stop what?" I asked.

"That!"

"That, what?"

He reaches back and slammed his hand on top of mine. "THAT!"

"OUCH!" I cried. That wasn't a fleshly hand that just slammed on mine, but durasteel!. "Bloody Mustafar! You are such a creep!"

"I am not a creep, Jedi," he hissed.

"You pick me up in a box, flip me over my head, and try to break my fingers all in less than ten minutes! What do you think that makes you?" I told him hotly.

"Nice. I could do worse."

Rolling my eyes, I said, "Kill me now!"

"I can do that too!"

I was thankful, very thankful to finally reach Dex's.

This was going to be fun. I could just tell. Can't you?

Part Two coming to a holo tranmitter near you very soon.