Delusions of Grandeur

I get asked a lot, how did you met Anakin and how did you become friends, how and why do you stalk him? It's really a funny story. So I'll tell you. Grab some popcorn and a space Pepsi and enjoy.

When I met Anakin Skywalker, he was nine. I was the same age. Just arrived at the Temple to start his training, he looked like a fish out of water. But he was cute and that got my attention. Master Obi-Wan requested that I show him around and help him get settled in, seeing how I had nothing else to do.

"Take your time," Obi-Wan told me in a low voice. "I have to meet with the Counsel. Keep an eye on him for me, Kriss."

We watched Obi-Wan walk away and then Ani turns to look at me and says, "Is he always so up-tight like a Bantha's backside?"

Not what I was expecting him to say. But I managed to nod. "Always. All of the Masters are like that."

Ani crossed his arms. "Oh, this is going to be fun then."

"If you think he's up tight, wait till you have a one on one with Master Yoda," I told him.

A twinkle came his eyes. "The green riddle monkey? Too late."

I completely lost it then. I doubled up laughing, with tears, covering my mouth. There is just something about a cute smart a$$ I like. I knew it right then, that we were going to be very good friends. He did too, I think, because he smiled.

"Call me Ani," he says, shaking my hand.

You see, he spoke normal back then.

With a bit of effort, I got myself under control again. "How much of the Temple have you seen?"

"The front doors, one hallway, a turbolift, and another hallway, the Counsel Chambers," Ani answers. "And here. Uh, where are we anyway?"

"The Great Hall."

"Why is everyone whispering?" he asked.

I waved my hand. "Because the hall is large, if you don't it echoes."

"Oh, really now?" Ani replied. "WHOOOOHOOOOOO!"

The echo of it reverberated around the room bouncing of the walls like a thunderous boom. It got the looks of everyone in the hall. No one had the nerve to yell in here, but always wanted too. Myself included.

"Sweet!" Ani said. "We could have a seriously cool game of Marko Polo in here!"

I grabbed his arm and made tracks out of there before one of Masters got a hold of us. I was giggling so hard my feet didn't want to work right. I pulled him out in to the nearest hallway, almost falling over.

"Another hallway!" he muttered. "Okay, where is the exciting stuff around here?"

So began I the grand tour, classrooms, and training rooms, the hanger bay. Ani didn't care too much for the classrooms, but the training rooms, he was very interested in those. There was a gleam in his eyes as he watched Padawans practice.

"Can I see your lightsaber?" he asked.

"Sure," I replied and handed to him. He tilted to his right, in my direction, his thumb over the switch. I should have sensed it, but I didn't. The next thing I see is the flash of blue as the blade came to life. Right in my face! I nearly jumped out of my skin. White spots danced in front of my eyes but I managed to push his hand and the hilt away.

"Opps, sorry! You have a lose switch on this thing."

I knew that. At that age, I dropped the saber a lot, usually on my feet. That was why the switch was lose. I'm really lucky, even with the power turned down, that I still had toes. I didn't want to look like a dork so I declined mentioning that.

"You almost took off my eyebrows," I said calmly. "You're supposed to ignite your blade away from people's faces."

He looked thoughtful for a moment, and handed it back to me. "Yeah, well, that's a good idea."

I continued the tour.

Above the hanger bay we found observation window. Ani climbs up on the ledge so he could look at all the ships docked. He was kind of short for a boy and it wasn't easy for him to get up there. But he did, and somehow, without falling off, pulled up me there with him.

There was a loud rustle when I sat down.

"What was that?" he asked.

I reached in my robes. "I sat on my cookies. Want some?"

"Sure. The Master's actually let you have cookies?"

I handed over the bag of chocolate chip cookies. "Let us? We have a storeroom filled with cookies! Jedi Knights love cookies."

"Cookies," he says.

"Yeah. Obi-Wan didn't tell you about that?"

"Uh, no."

I smiled. "Ask him about peanut butter cookies sometime. Oh, and Qui-Gon's brownies. Yum."

Ani stuffed two in his mouth. "These are pretty good," he declares. More of a mumble, but I understood. Let me tell you, those cookies are good. The best you'll ever eat. If you get a Jedi to share, that is.

"Master's don't want a bunch of younglings hyped up on sugar, so the cookies are made with a sugar substitute. You'd never know unless someone told you and I just did, so now you know."

Dayum that sounded dumb! Ani must have thought it was pretty funny cause I received a shower of cookie crumbs when he giggled. Still, to this every day, never make him laugh with cookies in his mouth. You will wear the results.

For hours we sat, talking. I learned about his mother, pod racing, the battle of Naboo. Ani is quite the storyteller. I think he might have embellished some of it, but I never bothered to find out.

"You're pretty wizard for a girl," he finally tells me.

"Thanks, I think."

"Want to hear a secret?"

Of course, I did. So I nodded and he leaned over real close.

"I have a girlfriend."

Say what? My eyes bulging, I poked his arm. "Fibber! You do not!"

"I do. Well, sort of. I like her, a lot, and I think she likes me too." A smile. "She's fourteen."

I almost choked. "You like older women?"

"I like this one. I'm going to marry her someday." Yeah, right, I thought. We all know how that turned out. Lucky girl.

Ani was drooling. Okay, not literally drooling. That would have be very gross with a mouthful of cookies. But you could just tell the idea was appealing to him.

It was starting to get dark outside and cookies are poor substitute for a hot meal. We left the hanger and wandered back to the Great Hall. It was almost dinner time.

End of part one...

This picture was took that first day. Isn't he funny?



*Note to reader from Anakin* Yo, s'up? Ani here. I never spewed no mauled up cookies on Kriss. Dat's just rude! And furthermore, I do not spew if you make me laugh either! Why you gots to diss me like dat, woman, showing dat pic?! Dayum! BTW, I'm stil going to get you for that previous post an spit!