Thursday, September 06, 2007

EWWWWWW HUTTS!

“OOOOOWEEEE! She is purty!” a voice echoed in my dreams. I pulled open my eyes and was faced with the ugliest thing I have ever seem. A Hutt. I was being held up in his face by two fowl looking creatures.

I grimaced. “Get a breath mint.”

“Looky! The Jedee is waking up! Hello, girly,” the breaths on me.

Looking him over, and there was a lot to look over, I glared. He was huge, and he wore overalls. Odd for a Hutt, me thinks. Little hands waved a beer can around, it splashed me.

“Watch it, slug,” I shouted.

The Hutt snorted and burped. “Be nice, Jedee, or I’ll make your little pal disappear.”

I heard them drag little Ani in. He was screaming and kicking. I struggled to turn and look at him. He looked sacred to death.

“I’m sorry, DJ!” he cried.

I winked at him. “It’s ok. Just chill out.”

He nodded really slowly. I turned back to Jaba. “This not a good idea, Hutt.”

A snort. “Yeah, yeah, I know, you gots powerful friends, I will regreat this, blablabla. Heard it before you know.”

I smiled sarcastically. “What do want from me anyway?”

“Girly, I want you to waer tiny clothes and dance! For me. Right here,” he says.

“I don’t dance.”

He leans in and his tongue flops in the air. “You will or I’ll eat the boy.”

“Excuse me?”

Jaba smiles. “I’ll BBQ him and eat him with a baked potato.”

I heard Anakin gurgle. Did I think he would do it? Yeah, I did. Something about BBQ made me think of Vader on Mustafar. So not cool. Not a mental image I want.

“Send Anakin home and I’ll stay,” I said.

“Heck no! Little twerp is my insurance policy. He stays, you dance, I’m happy, everyone lives.”

This was not good.
 
posted by Unknown at 10:59 AM, |

22 Comments:

  At 11:29 AM Blogger Skywalker said:
Jedee? *grrrrrrr* I hate Hutts! Don't blame me. I don't remember any of this.
So what kind of dance you going to do?

I can teach you the Electic Jedi Slide, The MC Hammerhead suffle, The Taun-Taun two step or the Trooper Tap-dance.

Ohhh, do you get to wear one of those cool gold lamaie bikinis? If so send pictures.
Here's a thought, dance for that overfed piece of bantha fodder like he wants and when your close enough skewer him through the throat.

I'll even give you a saber to do it with* tosses saber over* If I didn't have my hands full with the Avengers Id come back personally and do it

Wait. what am I saying? what is wrong with me? am I going soft?* looks confused*
Believe it or not I am agreeing with Catia here.. And Cat, don't look now but you are starting to get soft in your old age*chuckles*

* leans over and whispers something to Pho*
YOu touch that boy or my former Padawan and I have you for breakfast you overgrown slug.
That is dispicable. I hope Vader gets there in time since I can't help you. And that will be the only time I am glad he is aroud.
  At 5:03 PM Blogger Phobia said:
*blushes madly and a muttered" maybe" is heard*

Cat like I told you you're not as evil as you think, it's confusing to you.

DJK here's a can of Hutt away, you'll put it to good use I'm sure....
Lemme grab my camera and I'll be right there!
  At 7:45 PM Blogger Jawa Juice said:
AAAAAAA!!!
There's a red lightsaber thingy at the end of my cursor....
get it off!!!
GET IT OFFFFF!!!
What a sleezy slug. You'd think he'd have the curtesy of rinsing with Scope before he goes breathing on a hot chick.
Hutts are disgusting creatures. Perhaps you should try to get hold of some slug pellets and salt...or perhaps a giant hedgehog?
Kris was working at the Hutt's late one night
When her eyes beheld an eerie sight
For a slug from his slab began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise

She did the mash
She did the Jedi mash
The Jedi mash
It was a Jedi temple smash
She did the mash
It caught on in a flash
She did the mash
She did the Jedi mash

The scene was rockin', all were digging the sounds
Leia on chains, backed by her baying hounds
The rescue crew was about to arrive
With their special forces, "The Butt-kickin' Five"

They played the mash
They played the Jedi mash
The Jedi mash
It was a Jedi temple smash
They played the mash
It caught on in a flash
They played the mash
They played the Jedi mash

Out from his pit, Hutt's voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
He opened the door and shook his fist
And said, "Whatever happened to my Bib Fortuna twist?"

It's now the mash
It's now the Jedi mash
The Jedi mash
And it's a Hutt's pit smash
It's now the mash
It's caught on in a flash
It's now the mash
It's now the Jedi mash

Now everything's cool, Hutt's a part of the band
And the Jedi mash is the hit of the land
For you, the padawans, this mash was meant too
When you get to the door, tell them DJK sent you

Then you can mash
Then you can Jedi mash
The Jedi mash
And do my Jedi temple smash
Then you can mash
You'll catch on in a flash
Then you can mash
Then you can Jedi mash
Great adaption of the song
Fluke, I love that! LMAO! I fell out of my chair...

Ouch!

*Does it again*
Hey buddy, Fluke, come over to my place, we can discuss a record contract.

Trust me- You and I can become rich off of this song... Mainly me, but its extra cash for you!
  At 3:15 PM Blogger TX said:
Terminate the Hutt
  At 3:18 PM Blogger Justice said:
oh He wouldnt eat ani really would he?
  At 3:19 PM Blogger Justice said:
LOL at Fluke
  At 8:53 AM Blogger Jaina Solo said:
Saber time!
Please tell me that you know where Master Yoda keeps his power washer is at?
I'm sorry, but volunteering to stay with a hut is just revolting..... bleh.

Fluke, loved the rendition of "The Mash."
Great song Fluke but don't give up your day job.