Delusions of Grandeur

I feel really confused. Have you any idea how hard it is to hate someone your heart really doesn’t want to hate even through it should? I'm a Jedi, we don't hate. But when you find out the things I have, you want to hate.

If I go back, I'm in for by the Counsel. If I leave again and come back here, it will be a permanent thing. I won't be able to go back. So should I stay here and get more answers, then go back and try to change what's to come? The more I stay, the more I feel the spark of goodness in Vader. He knew I would. I can't help wanting to work on that.

And dayum it, I can't help liking the creep too, despite what I know.

And he did come back for me. That would be a considerate thing... if I knew who he really was.

A few days after the assassination attempt on me, I walked into on the funniest sight I have ever seen.

Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith... tyrant of the future... drunk.

Yep, you read right. Drunk, wasted, bombed, loaded.

I don't think he was expecting me to see him that way. In fact, I'm sure he was sure I wouldn't. There were guards posted at his office doors, which I charmed to let me in. Vader was sitting at his desk drinking from a huge mug, and I do mean huge, with a straw of course.

"Get out!" he snapped.

“No. I need to know if my camera is your tie-fighter, I can't find- " Vader hiccupped and I stopped speaking. "Did you just hiccup at me?"

"No, I did not. Get out," he answered, slurring his words.

I eyed the mug. "What are you drinking? Um, slurping?"

"Hot coco." He burped.

"Pudu!" I walked over. "I don't care if you’re drinking. I need my camera. Where is it?"

Vader snorted. "Like I know."

"Tell your men in the hanger to let me search the fighter."

Vader stared at me. "Nope."

"I'm not going to fly off in it, Vader," I told him.

"Yes, you weels," he slurred, hiccupping again.

I snickered. He was trying so hard to hide the fact he was wasted. "How many have you had of those?"

He waved his hand, accidentally knocking over a lamp. "I wost count."

"One that big should be enough," I said.

"Ones is never enough," he muttered, shoving the straw back in his grill.

I leaned over the desk into the mug. Ale, he was drinking ale. It smelled good. I had been a while since I had a good stiff drink myself.

"Care to share that with a girl?"

Out came a bottle and another mug, a enormous mug. I filled it up and plopped in a chair.

"What's got you so upset you need a drink?" I asked.

"Hideous."

I laughed. "Hideous? You mean Sidious?"

"Yeah, him."

"What he do now?"

"I'm not telling yous," Vader answered. "You going to drink that or just hold it?"

I stuck my tongue out at him. I titled the mugs back and drank the whole darn thing in one large gulp. I wiped my lips and smiled. Vader stared at me, I guess gaping.

"I used to drink Anakin under the table," I told him. "And he could drink."

"He still can," he muttered. At least I think that is what he said.

"What was that?" I asked.

"Hmm? I didn't say anything."

I stood up. Bad idea. See the key to drinking is not getting up while you're doing it. I drank the ale too fast and too much of it, it went right to my head at a rapid pace. "Oh, Sith," I said, right before I titled backwards and fell to the floor like a tree. I could hear Vader laughing. Really laughing.

I was dizzy but I couldn't help laughing. I started giggling like a youngling. A black spot met my eyes. Vader was leaning over the desk, which he could do because he was so tall.

"TIMBER!" he shouted.

Later on, I found this holo. Yeah. He needs counseling, I think. Everyone is calling him Chad... odd. And who frack is Clarissa?

Three days passed quietly, mostly because Vader missing in action. I have no idea where he was. I think he was in his chamber the whole time. I know for fact he was for awhile. I went there, and I could sense him in there.

Not much to do on the planet. The acid rain keeps you from going outside. So, I explored the fortress. Lots to see there, but not what I was looking for. I still need answers, and anywhere I might be able some were locked tight.

I was sitting the balcony when my comm went off. Now, it shouldn't have. I'm ten years in the future, through a wormhole. But it went off, faintly. I grabbed it and looked at it. I had to smile. Leave it Anakin to try to find some way to contact me.

His voice was washed out with static. What I got was my name and 'do you copy?' I lifted the comm to my lips.

"Ani?"

"Kriss?"

Now that we had introduced ourselves, I tried to listen through the static.

"Where the *static* are you? Are you *static* all right *static*?"

"I'm okay," I replied.

"Are you being *static* again your will? Speak up! I can't *static* you!” he shouted.

"I'm not being held!" I screamed back.

"Get your *static* back here!"

"Who made you boss of me, Skywalker?"

"*static and cursses* Have you *static* your *static* mind?" he asked.

"No, I haven't! I can't leave right now!" I said.

"Don't play that with me! *static* You can't *static* help that creep!"

"Who said I was?"

"KRISS!" Temper, temper.

"*Static* have any idea how much *static* you are in?"

No, I don't have guess about that. A large pile of pudu, I'm sure.

"Don't make me *static* come find you!"

I snorted. "To do what? Give me a spanking?"

"KRISS!"

I felt Vader behind me before I heard him. His head was titled, listening to Anakin screaming over the comm.

"Mr. Hero,” Vader said hotly.

I gave him a pained look. Anakin was really shouting now, making me feel even worse.

"Do you have any idea much trouble you're in," Vader mocked. "Don’t make me come find you."

"Vader, that is tacky," I said.

"Is that Vader?" Anakin shouted. "Tell him to *static* up his helmet!"

Vader snorted.I bit my lip to keep from laughing. "Ani, cool your jets. I'll be back soon."

"Will you now?" Vader said, crossing his arms.

I hushed him with a hand. "Maybe, maybe not," I said, using his own words.

"Sassy," he spat back.

"KRISS!" Ani’s voice came through very clear. "Get back HERE!"

The comm cut out. I looked up and Vader was lowering his hand. "You made the comm go out, didn't you?"

"No."

"Yes, you did!"

"No, I did not!"

Exasperating, he is. I placed the comm back on my belt and stared at Vader. I sighed.

"I really do need to need to get back." I thought for a while. If I left I wouldn't get any answers and possibly end up dead. "Answer me a question?" He nodded. "How long do I have before I- die?"

"Less than a year," he answered.

That gives me time to go back and try to discovery what’s going to happen, doesn't it?

"It can't be changed. You can't go back and tell everyone either," Vader said, reading my thoughts.

"Why not? Maybe it can be changed if we are prepared for it." I gave him a questionable look.

"No one would believe you. Especially Skywalker."

"Well, you haven't told exactly what's going to happen. Maybe you should."

"Can't you figure it out?" he asked.

"I can but I rather hear you tell me," I told him.

Vader matched farther into the room. "Someone you trust turns to Dark Side. He attacks the Jedi Temple and you killed there."

"Who?"

"Me."

I blinked. "WHAT? I thought you said you didn’t kill me!"

Vader stood very still. "I didn’t."

"But you attacked the Temple?" I jumped to my feet. "Can you not make sense here? I'm supposed to like you knowing this?"

He shrugged. "I came back for you."

"I still don’t get that." I was angry, very angry. "You know if I go back I might be able to change things. But you won't tell what I need to know. You know I will try to change it, and I think that has something to do with it."

"It won't change."

"So after you attack the Temple, you ended up in that suit?" I asked.

"Yes."

"How?"

"I was defeated and left for dead."

"Well, I can see why!" I shouted. "The attack is this Order 66 I keep hearing about, right?"

"Yes."

"And you still managed to take over the galaxy and create the Empire. Tough cookie." I glared. "And all Jedi are dead?"

"Most of them."

"I can't believe all this! You bring here and give me little bits, every bit of it horrible and expect me still like you! Find some goodness in you! I should kill you now and do the galaxy of this time a favor!"

I left him standing there. I walked away, storming off. I should kill him. It’s my duty as a Jedi. But why does my saber stay on my belt?