Delusions of Grandeur

Vader sat back in the chair. “If I were to let you see my face, and I’m not saying I’m going to, I would have to kill you,” he joked.

“Har har. Cute, Vader,” I said and he snorted, amused.

I really wanted to see his face, get past these games and get down to nitty gritty. He knew that, of course. This was a test to see how hard I was going to try. Man, do I have restraint. Coming around that chair and getting backhanded would almost be worth the trouble.

“I’m tired of this,” I whispered to myself.

“I know you are,” he said. “If you only trusted me.”

Oddly, I do. “I do trust you, Vader, or I would’ve tried to kill you a long time ago.”

His head turned some. “Tell me you’ll stay here.”

I shook my head. “I can’t.”

“I don’t want you to die again,” he said.

Well, bloody fell I don’t want to die either! But if it saves those I care for…

A plan formed.

“Show me your face and I’ll stay,” I said. “I promise.”

Vader kicked his foot and the chair swung around.

My throat caught, all the blood in head went right to my feet, my mouth dropped open. I got so lightheaded I thought I would blackout. My eyes had to be lying to me.

But they weren’t.

“Anakin?” I whispered.

Still sick guys, so a funny vid to make you laugh, untill I can get back to the story. This guy is pretty good. Enjoy!

A few months ago, Master Windu told me I had to teach Becca how to fly. It would seem she ran over his starfighter and his foot somehow. So, I got wrangled in to teaching her how to properly fly a speeder and, or ship. Anakin would be a better choice for this but I agreed anyway. It was this or Palpatine at his summer home. No thanks, I don’t want to see his Speedo again.

I had to chase her down. Not hard, all I had to do was follow the mess she left in her wake. I managed to get in front of her, not smart on my part and she rammed the back of my speeder, nearly knocking me to Hoth. But she stopped.

She came out flashing her insurance and drivers license at me. “I’m sorry, Officer!”

“I’m not an officer, Becca, its me Kriss?” I said, with a smile.

She waved her hands. “Thank God! I think I was drinking this morning! Who are you again?”

I blinked. She knew who I was, that and I did just tell her who I was. “I’m Kriss, Erifia’s friend. I’m supposed to teach you how to fly.”

Her eyes went wide at me. “Erifia’s got friends?” she gasped at me.

“Uh, well, yes, sort of,” I replied.

Then she kinda jumps up all happy. “Oh, hi! I’m Becca the Magnificent. I work for Erifia. I’m her sidekick!”

“I know who you are. We’ve met before, remember?”

“Nope. Oh, hi! I’m Becca the Magnificent. I’m Erifia’s sidekick!”

Defiantly some lose screws in that head. I’m not sure fly should be on her list of things to learn. But I decided to go with it, not much of a choice here. I smiled and shook her hand. “Nice to meet you. Shall we get started?”

“Oh, no, I’m sorry, I like boys,” she pops off at me.

Say what? And I need to know that, why? “Hmm, good to know. Most girls do.”

“I don’t know…”

I could see that clearly. “You want to start the lesson now?”

Becca looked at me so blankly I thought she had fell asleep with her eyes open. Then she jumps again. “Oh, hi, Kriss! Thank for coming. I’m excited to start learning how to fly buffalo!”

Come again? “Fly a what? No. Mace wanted you to learn how to fly a speeder or ship not a buffalo.” I gave her a my best ‘trying not to show you how nuts I think you are’ look.

“But Okie-Doke Kablokey spoke of a Buffalo with wings. I assumed he meant for me to fly it,” she said.

I’m guessing she meant Obi-Wan. “Buffalo wings are small chicken wings, you eat them, not fly them.”

“But the chickens would get hurt…”

Why me? “You can’t eat the alive. Well, you could, but you can’t fly them.”

She giggled. “You can’t eat a spaceship, silly! And yes you can fly them!”

Okkkkkk! This was going to be more work than it was worth. But still it was better than Palps in his Speedo. “So, I’m going to teach you to fly.”

“I don’t know?”

I take that back. Palps in a Speedo might be a better choice…

Part One:



Part Two:



We miss you, Fluke!

"Vader?" I said.

"I should break your neck!" he hissed in that low whisper again. He hardly sounded monstrous. From what I had discovered before, I knew his throat was damaged so a whisper was all he could manage. But his tone, that was the same.

"Let me up!" I cried.

"I don't think so."

"I can't breathe," I lied.

He moved his arm so I lift my face up just fraction, still holding my neck tightly. All I could see was the chair and his leg.

"Let me up! I won't look!"

"No."

I heard him messing with something. "What are you doing?"

"Fixing what you broke," Vader whispered.

I reached back up. His head was turned so I got his cheek. My hand was batted away.

"Stop touching me!"

"Why? You think scars bother me? I've seen worse, you know." I asked. No answer to that. "Turn the chair around or something but let me up! You're killing my knees and my neck! Besides this position looks BAD!"

Vader's next move surprised me. He let go of my neck and spun the chair. I went sprawling backward on my backside. Mind minding the pain, I jerked my head up and jumped to my feet, rubbing said backside. His back was too me but I could see the back of his head!

I silently sucked in my breath. First off let me point out, Vader's scars, on the back of his head at least, are not as bad he thinks. Well, one is. There was deep impression as if some had gone digging in his skull. That was one rough to see. But the rest were pale and faint. With tuffs of blonde hairs growing randomly in patches.

I took a stepped closer to him. I could see over his shoulders but not see his face. Thought hit me: he really was a person under all that armor. I reached out and touched a strand of short hair. It was soft under my fingertips. Force help me, I wanted to see his face now!

Vader lifted his hand, reading my thoughts. "If you dare come around this chair, I'll backhand you back to the past with the Force!"

"Nice," I muttered.

Vader unhooked his cape. When it dropped I see the edge of his shoulder armor and most of his neck. He was muttering and moving around. Lifting a long, shiny tool, he started adjusting the piece of his mask I had damaged.

"Can you fix it?" I asked.

"Yes. This not the first time it’s been damaged," he replied.

I bit my lip. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," I whispered, feeling bad.

He froze at my words, as if they startled him or something.

TBC

When I asked Vader who had tried to kill me, he said nothing. I wasn't going to take silence as an answer. I got right in his helmet and stood there on a box with my arms crossed.

"You look very silly doing that," he muttered.

"I know, you know who it was, so just tell me."

"Why? Does it matter? It has been taken care of," Vader tells me.

What does that mean? "Who did you kill?"

"Who says I killed anyone?"

"I do. I know you," I told him.

He snorted. "Do you now?"

"Well enough."

Silence. Vader really thinks just standing there, staring, intimates me. It doesn't. I do it right back. I really think he enjoys that. This time, however, he turned around and left the room. I followed.

"Stop following me!" he snapped.

"Oh, you can follow me but I can't follow you?" I asked.

Vader whipped around and his cape went in my face. I had to wave it away. "I'm the Sith Lord here!"

I stepped up to him, centimeters away, and looked up at him a smirk on my face. "You look like a grumpy Bantha to me."

Bad idea. Vader lifted me up by my armpits. "Whoa, big boy!" I shouted.

"Now, you’re stuck."

I glared. "If you don't sit me down by three, you’re going to be stuck."

"Oh? How?"

I smirked. "My knee stuck in your helmet. One." He lifted me higher. "Two."

I skipped three and went right for the helmet with my knee. He could have dropped me before it moved but he didn't. Now, I shouldn't feel bad for the result of this but I do. I knocked his helmet lose. When he dropped me, it was with a gurgle. He wasn't getting any air.

"Sith Spit!" I shouted as he dropped to his knees. I dropped to mine next to him. He shoved me away. Well, I wasn't going to let him croak on me. I moved back over and attempted to readjust the mask. That didn't help.

"I think you need to get to your chamber," I told him, standing up, pulling his arm.

Let me tell you, Vader is not light, using the Force or not! I had to really give my all to get him down the hall. I just knew he was going to die before I got him there and he could take that thing off and get it back on right. He didn’t but I almost wished he had.

I shoved him inside, his gurgles making the hair on my arms stand up. I somehow got him in the chair and looked around. I took a guess and started hitting buttons. The door closed, the air shifted, and this arm came down from the ceiling. I thought: ok; now I get to see his face.

Unable to breath or not, Vader isn't stupid. He grabbed my arm, pulled to me to my knees, then took my head and shoved it into the space between his leg and armrest. Not a comfortable position to be in. Now I couldn't breathe, and he was holding my neck like a vice! And sure as frack couldn’t see! I wiggled around, trying to free myself. My arms were wailing and I smacked flesh, froze. I had just slapped his face!

The gurgling had stopped. I could hear him breathing normally. He moved his hand a bit and fresh air hit my face but not enough so I could look up. I touched his chin. I could feel the scars under my fingers tips. Something gave me the impression, he was expecting me to be disgusted by it and jerk away. I wasn't and I didn't. In fact, I dare to worm my fingers up his face, right across his left eye.

He grabbed my arm and pulled it away but not before I felt something interesting. The distant pattern of the scar below and above his eye.

"I should break your neck!" he hissed in voice barely above a whisper. I did a double take, it was so soft, I thought someone else had walked in and spoke.